A&H

Open Age Any tips or tricks to stop players complaining?

Robert King

New Member
So had myself an interesting game today.

Only adults, (I believe that's called open age?) and everything was going fine for the first 30 minutes. Maybe missed one handball but that's about it.

However, I then gave a very controversial penalty, where, on the whole field, plus trainers and audience and any other person involved with the game, did not see a penalty, but I did see a foul, however light, and in my memory it's still a foul. But looking at the circumstances it's very doubtful that anything against the rules was done there.

My view was a defender coming in for a tackle, I believe he did not get the ball, and the defender raising his leg a little which caused the attacker to trip, another guy on the sideline said that from his point of view, the defender got the ball and then made the player fall. This was all happening on the goalline. Also, the defending team came up to me first claiming it was a goal kick. So pure from my observation, clear foul.

But the players did not agree, and for the remaining 15 minutes I was slowly losing grip on the game. Several players of the losing side kept complaining and also started to argue with the opposing side. When trying to call one player over, his team mate came up to me and said: "He ain't a dog!!".

Then at half time, one player came to me, offered me his hand and said: "Ref, I can't handle this anymore, I'm going home." And then to his father or something: "How can I play with such a ref?" Then that father: "This guy can't ref for **".
I mean, from the outside, I was smiling at those two, hands in pockets, nonchalantly leaning back on my heels, but it is frustrating.

I don't know what happened in the dressing room, but they all came back as tame as housecats. And that guy stood on the field just fine.

Remaining game went fine, I mean, there was some fighting and one red card, but that I find only fun. (I was looking forward so long to give that first red card, and when it came, I couldn't enjoy it :( )

It was the (probably) wrong call and the disrespectful and childish players that ruined the fun for me.

Are there any tips or tricks for dealing with these kind of players on the pitch?
 
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The Referee Store
Come on, it was my first ever after almost a year of reffing. I don't ref in the UK, they are very uncommon here, it was a special moment. Give me some credit. Don't tell me you can't remember your first.
 
Couple of points you can address as you choose:
For the penalty - we all make mistakes. You stood by your decision, that's a positive.
"Fighting" implies more than one protagonist - why only one RC, were there other sanctions for the fighting?

Players come out to play football, they only remember there is referee when a decision goes against them. The rest of the time, before, during and after the game, they have plenty more on their minds.

By "these kinds of players" do you mean fighting players, or disrespectful/childish players, or do you mean dealing with dissent?
 
Thanks for replying, it was more like one sided fighting. I should have said "attacked". Maybe the other guy did hit the protagonist before I saw him being attacked, but I don't think so.

The protagonist didn't give me a hard time. He was quite okay with him being sent off, walked off calmly. Somewhat later into the match a teammate called: "I want to substitute! *Name*, you wanna play?". And then that guy called out laughing: "I can't play anymore dude!" (Very low league, so he just left the field but stood on the sideline, as is common where I live.)

But the other team, the childish and disrespectful players were frustrating. How do I deal with them once they start getting "rebellious"? I can't show them cards, because they haven't crossed that line yet. But these players used to play in the highest leagues and once one of my observers said: "These people know exactly what and what not they can say and do to the referee." So it's very hard to manage them for me. I'm planning to ref that team asap again. Kind of looking up the trouble, but I find them to be very educational :)
 
But the other team, the childish and disrespectful players were frustrating. How do I deal with them once they start getting "rebellious"? I can't show them cards, because they haven't crossed that line yet. But these players used to play in the highest leagues and once one of my observers said: "These people know exactly what and what not they can say and do to the referee." So it's very hard to manage them for me. I'm planning to ref that team asap again. Kind of looking up the trouble, but I find them to be very educational :)
That sounds like the perfect time to use the stepped approach. First tell them "that's enough" or "calm down". If they don't respond positively to that, at the next stoppage in play pull them to one side and give them a bollocking. Next step (that I often skip) is the same again with the captain. Then you can absolutely sell a card if they're still going on. Having said that....

Don't forget that "dissent" is deliberately a very nebulous term. It can mean whatever you want it to mean - and it's perfectly acceptable for you to adjust your tolerance depending on the match context. It sounds like you're struggling because you maybe have a too rigid idea of what dissent is and players are using that against you? If player are getting under your skin, use any excuse to get one of them in the book. If that doesn't get the desired response from the team, do it again. Eventually, they'll either work it out or you'll start running out of players.
 
Thanks for replying, it was more like one sided fighting. I should have said "attacked". Maybe the other guy did hit the protagonist before I saw him being attacked, but I don't think so.

The protagonist didn't give me a hard time. He was quite okay with him being sent off, walked off calmly. Somewhat later into the match a teammate called: "I want to substitute! *Name*, you wanna play?". And then that guy called out laughing: "I can't play anymore dude!" (Very low league, so he just left the field but stood on the sideline, as is common where I live.)

But the other team, the childish and disrespectful players were frustrating. How do I deal with them once they start getting "rebellious"? I can't show them cards, because they haven't crossed that line yet. But these players used to play in the highest leagues and once one of my observers said: "These people know exactly what and what not they can say and do to the referee." So it's very hard to manage them for me. I'm planning to ref that team asap again. Kind of looking up the trouble, but I find them to be very educational :)

Let's look at the "stood on the sideline" part. Round my way I have played and reffed in lower hobby leagues (as well as futsal). In the laws it says "A player, substitute or substituted player who has been sent off must leave the vicinity of the field of play and the technical area."

This is there to help you. And you should enforce. This might have been an easy "RC" but next time the RC player might try to come back on, scream at you, fight with the opponents, kick the ball as it rolls past, kick a player as they run past. In our lower leagues you learn quick that all RC players have to leave the pitch and technical area. Normally this means the changing rooms. If there is a fence then behind the fence might be OK. Get them out of there.

How to handle disrespectful players who know the lines? The answer is, use your cards. If you threaten to use the YC follow through. Stepped approach. You can warn individuals but you can also call in the captains and tell them you've had enough. Loudly tell them the next complainant gets a YC, and the one after that. Just make sure you follow through.

If the dissent is related to specific decisions honesty is useful: "sorry, I didn't see it guys and it's not fair to guess", "I try my best", "I saw the contact but I didn't think it was a foul", "yes, I saw that"... etc.

Also try to get a feel for when to hurry the game along "come on, no foul, let's play", and when to slow it down "yes, it was a small foul but I have to give it, relax, play the ball not the man" etc...
 
That sounds like the perfect time to use the stepped approach. First tell them "that's enough" or "calm down". If they don't respond positively to that, at the next stoppage in play pull them to one side and give them a bollocking. Next step (that I often skip) is the same again with the captain. Then you can absolutely sell a card if they're still going on. Having said that....

Don't forget that "dissent" is deliberately a very nebulous term. It can mean whatever you want it to mean - and it's perfectly acceptable for you to adjust your tolerance depending on the match context. It sounds like you're struggling because you maybe have a too rigid idea of what dissent is and players are using that against you? If player are getting under your skin, use any excuse to get one of them in the book. If that doesn't get the desired response from the team, do it again. Eventually, they'll either work it out or you'll start running out of players.

Yes, that is true, I can do some more managing of the players. Though it does feel weird to call a 30-50 years old player to the side as a 17 years old.

I will try to give some more yellow cards in the future too, but we have this rule that once you get a yellow, you gotta sit for 10 minutes. If I manage to give 5 yellow cards to one team in 10 minutes, I would have to abandon the game. I don't think it would get to that, but tbh I absolutely hate this rule, it influences the game too much imo. Play with 10 men for 10 minutes or with one guy booked is something totally different.
I did give a yellow card immediatly after giving the penalty for complaining, though he didn't even do that much. It was a preventive call, as to not have his whole team come over and spit in my face.
 
Let's look at the "stood on the sideline" part. Round my way I have played and reffed in lower hobby leagues (as well as futsal). In the laws it says "A player, substitute or substituted player who has been sent off must leave the vicinity of the field of play and the technical area."

This is there to help you. And you should enforce. This might have been an easy "RC" but next time the RC player might try to come back on, scream at you, fight with the opponents, kick the ball as it rolls past, kick a player as they run past. In our lower leagues you learn quick that all RC players have to leave the pitch and technical area. Normally this means the changing rooms. If there is a fence then behind the fence might be OK. Get them out of there.

How to handle disrespectful players who know the lines? The answer is, use your cards. If you threaten to use the YC follow through. Stepped approach. You can warn individuals but you can also call in the captains and tell them you've had enough. Loudly tell them the next complainant gets a YC, and the one after that. Just make sure you follow through.

If the dissent is related to specific decisions honesty is useful: "sorry, I didn't see it guys and it's not fair to guess", "I try my best", "I saw the contact but I didn't think it was a foul", "yes, I saw that"... etc.

Also try to get a feel for when to hurry the game along "come on, no foul, let's play", and when to slow it down "yes, it was a small foul but I have to give it, relax, play the ball not the man" etc...


About the slowing it down or hurrying it along, I learned my lesson last time when the game ended in a brawl after me letting them play on too much :p

And yes, I should have threatened with cards some more. It would have made it a lot better. Thanks both!
 
Come on, it was my first ever after almost a year of reffing. I don't ref in the UK, they are very uncommon here, it was a special moment. Give me some credit. Don't tell me you can't remember your first.
Special moment? Give you some credit? I see you mention elsewhere that a whole team were going to come and spit in your face?

Here's a thing, how about you treat the players with some respect instead of enjoying taking disciplinary action.
 
Yes, that is true, I can do some more managing of the players. Though it does feel weird to call a 30-50 years old player to the side as a 17 years old.

I will try to give some more yellow cards in the future too, but we have this rule that once you get a yellow, you gotta sit for 10 minutes. If I manage to give 5 yellow cards to one team in 10 minutes, I would have to abandon the game. I don't think it would get to that, but tbh I absolutely hate this rule, it influences the game too much imo. Play with 10 men for 10 minutes or with one guy booked is something totally different.
I did give a yellow card immediatly after giving the penalty for complaining, though he didn't even do that much. It was a preventive call, as to not have his whole team come over and spit in my face.
If they're behaving like a 17 year old, treat them like it. Just last week I told a 40+ year old captain that I don't care about his opinion and he needed to go away. But he'd come charging in to an incident that had nothing to do with him, so I had to be firm. He looked a bit shocked, but it worked.

And although that is a mad rule, I think it should just make the players respond quicker. If they find themselves 2 or 3 men down and they still haven't got the message, then perhaps abandonment is the only appropriate way to get it to sink in.
 
If they're behaving like a 17 year old, treat them like it. Just last week I told a 40+ year old captain that I don't care about his opinion and he needed to go away. But he'd come charging in to an incident that had nothing to do with him, so I had to be firm. He looked a bit shocked, but it worked.

And although that is a mad rule, I think it should just make the players respond quicker. If they find themselves 2 or 3 men down and they still haven't got the message, then perhaps abandonment is the only appropriate way to get it to sink in.
I think the point is that the author of the post is 17
 
Special moment? Give you some credit? I see you mention elsewhere that a whole team were going to come and spit in your face?

Here's a thing, how about you treat the players with some respect instead of enjoying taking disciplinary action.

Spitting is not meant spitting literally, probably something with differences in language...

And don't you worry about me not treating players with respect.
 
Spitting is not meant spitting literally, probably something with differences in language...

And don't you worry about me not treating players with respect.
Oh I won't. I suggest you check your translations before posting to check the context not just the words
 
As already said use the stepped approach then if he hasn't shut up on the 3rd after getting the captain caution him for dissent but don't forget you could even go straight to cards depending on what was said
 
I'll comment on the part nobody else has - where you said one player said 'ref, he ain't a dog'.

How, exactly are you calling the players over?

You're not beckoning a player to come to your feet. Watch how other refs do it. Blow the whistle, don't point at the player with a finger but gesture to them with your entire hand. "Number 9, a word please!" and gesture towards a spot off to the side. You're not calling the player to you - you're calling the player to meet you at a point of the field near both of you (and away from everybody else). Does that make sense?
 
But the other team, the childish and disrespectful players were frustrating. How do I deal with them once they start getting "rebellious"? I can't show them cards, because they haven't crossed that line yet.
I'm not sure which line you're referring to. The only line they need to cross is the one that you choose. If the players are being childish, disrespectful and rebellious, that sounds awfully like dissent to me and as referee, you get to decide whether what they've done is worthy of a card, based solely on your discretion.

Remember, the Laws of the Game give you pretty broad powers to make decisions as you see fit, as follows:
Decisions will be made to the best of the referee's ability according to the Laws of the Game and the spirit of the game and will be based on the opinion of the referee who has the discretion to take appropriate action within the framework of the Laws of the Game.

Or, as @GraemeS put it, "it's perfectly acceptable for you to adjust your tolerance depending on the match context."
 
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The big issue is you should have used your yellows earlier. A couple of yellows shows you won't take any nonsense. If you are worried about calling 40 year old blokes over maybe you should move back to youth until you have the confidence to deal with that.
 
The big issue is you should have used your yellows earlier. A couple of yellows shows you won't take any nonsense. If you are worried about calling 40 year old blokes over maybe you should move back to youth until you have the confidence to deal with that.

Oh no, that's not an issue, I'm eager to try this out. :)

I'll comment on the part nobody else has - where you said one player said 'ref, he ain't a dog'.

How, exactly are you calling the players over?

You're not beckoning a player to come to your feet. Watch how other refs do it. Blow the whistle, don't point at the player with a finger but gesture to them with your entire hand. "Number 9, a word please!" and gesture towards a spot off to the side. You're not calling the player to you - you're calling the player to meet you at a point of the field near both of you (and away from everybody else). Does that make sense?

Yeah, I could work a little bit on that, maybe an added "please" will work better.


Overall, I'll just start working more on handling and managing the players, threathen(?) with yellows and call them over for a word. Thanks all!
 
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