A&H

Any other mums/older ladies refg out there?

MumRef

MumRef

Member
Hello all. My daughter used to ref youth games and when she gave up, I trained. I can see why she gave up - it's quite a stressful job!
I'm now starting my 2nd season and am looking forward to getting more confident. I did start to enjoy it by the end of the season. Looking to take the plunge to U13s and above - I've only been doing U12s and below so far.
The great thing about being a referee is that you can learn from your mistakes and apply your knowledge the very next week with a clean sheet. That doesn't always happen in life.
I've lurked in some of these threads and am finding the discussions very interesting. There seem to be a few grey areas. Which is why you need a referee/someone to blame!
 
The Referee Store
MumRef said:
Hello all. My daughter used to ref youth games and when she gave up, I trained. I can see why she gave up - it's quite a stressful job!
I'm now starting my 2nd season and am looking forward to getting more confident. I did start to enjoy it by the end of the season. Looking to take the plunge to U13s and above - I've only been doing U12s and below so far.
The great thing about being a referee is that you can learn from your mistakes and apply your knowledge the very next week with a clean sheet. That doesn't always happen in life.
I've lurked in some of these threads and am finding the discussions very interesting. There seem to be a few grey areas. Which is why you need a referee/someone to blame!
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I doubt there are many. My two kids play on Sunday mornings and I've never seen a Mum take up the whistle

Anyway, the FA occasionally post promotional videos on Social Media with young folk stating what motivates them to Referee etc.
Whilst they all routinely talk about 'making new friends' and wotnot, none of them ever touch upon the best thing about Refereeing. That being, it's bloody difficult! And all the 'personal development' involved with taking up the challenge
 
A friend of mine did this - her kids were playing and they struggled to get refs so she took it up. She’s been doing it about ten years now and is level 5, so a senior county referee. She’s had issues, the same as all of us, but there is support. In fact there’s probably more support for female referees of all ages, certainly in our county, than there is for older male refs.
We have female support officers at our county fa - Jo is one of these, so uses her life experience to help younger female referees to develop and progress. You may find your CFA has similar people to help if you have problems.
As Big cat says, it is rewarding and can really help with personal development. As your daughter found, its not for everyone but it does get easier.
You’ll meet lots of “characters” and can have fun working out how to deal with them! Good luck, and welcome to the forum.
 
I met one when I did one of the 'Games for Grenfell' at Loftus Road in the summer. She said she took it up because her sons played but her husband couldn't stand football.

Had done it for about a year, to mainly help out her sons' club, but was now doing more games outside that environment - hence why she was where she was!
 
markref said:
A friend of mine did this - her kids were playing and they struggled to get refs so she took it up. She’s been doing it about ten years now and is level 5, so a senior county referee. She’s had issues, the same as all of us, but there is support. In fact there’s probably more support for female referees of all ages, certainly in our county, than there is for older male refs.
We have female support officers at our county fa - Jo is one of these, so uses her life experience to help younger female referees to develop and progress. You may find your CFA has similar people to help if you have problems.
As Big cat says, it is rewarding and can really help with personal development. As your daughter found, its not for everyone but it does get easier.
You’ll meet lots of “characters” and can have fun working out how to deal with them! Good luck, and welcome to the forum.
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Thank you @markref
markref said:
A friend of mine did this - her kids were playing and they struggled to get refs so she took it up. She’s been doing it about ten years now and is level 5, so a senior county referee. She’s had issues, the same as all of us, but there is support. In fact there’s probably more support for female referees of all ages, certainly in our county, than there is for older male refs.
We have female support officers at our county fa - Jo is one of these, so uses her life experience to help younger female referees to develop and progress. You may find your CFA has similar people to help if you have problems.
As Big cat says, it is rewarding and can really help with personal development. As your daughter found, its not for everyone but it does get easier.
You’ll meet lots of “characters” and can have fun working out how to deal with them! Good luck, and welcome to the forum.
Click to expand...
 
Big Cat said:
I doubt there are many.
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Maybe not in your limited sphere of experience but we had two FIFA Women's ARs in our County at one point. In addition my friend also trained about 15 years ago and has only just retired.

They do exist, just like qualified dad refs.
 
Brian Hamilton said:
Maybe not in your limited sphere of experience but we had two FIFA Women's ARs in our County at one point. In addition my friend also trained about 15 years ago and has only just retired.

They do exist, just like qualified dad refs.
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Am sure they do; I just ain't met 'any'
There's a smattering of female R's kicking about in my part of the World (Supply/Contrib level to boot), but the one's I've encountered are not mums
Anyway, the game would benefit hugely from having more @MumRef 's 👍

Incidentally, my younger boy has offsides introduced this year. I've been encouraging the mums to run the line for me instead of the dads, but the ladies keep wriggling off the hook!
 
Big Cat said:
Am sure they do; I just ain't met 'any'
There's a smattering of female R's kicking about in my part of the World (Supply/Contrib level to boot), but the one's I've encountered are not mums
Anyway, the game would benefit hugely from having more @MumRef 's 👍

Incidentally, my younger boy has offsides introduced this year. I've been encouraging the mums to run the line for me instead of the dads, but the ladies keep wriggling off the hook!
Click to expand...
The mums are wise and are keeping that ball firmly in the dads' court!
 
We are fortunate up North that we have some female FIFA and UEFA officials working in the mens game.

Lina Lehtovaara did well at the womens euros and I think referees mens second tier. I get a few matches a year with the lady who refereed last year’s womens cup final. The best futsal ref I work with is a very experienced uefa lady ref. A few female uefa ARs around.

I have still only across one “mum” who has taken up the whistle. Shame as I know so many “mums” that have taken up organizing youth teams or that play. Not masochistic enough!!!
 
I had two mums as ARs today for a G14 game. Things are quite a bit different here in the US. AYSO is the largest youth soccer organization, and the only organization sanctioned by USSF to separately train and license referees. All AYSO refs are volunteers, so in most places teams are obligated to get volunteers--the majority are dads, but we get a fair number of moms, as well as brothers or sisters, and a handful of other relatives or friends. But it also means we use ARs for far, far more games than those of you in England. AYSO 10u games expect to have ARs—which is more valuable for easing new volunteers into reffing than that the 7 v 7 games really need them. i love seeing the moms out there, as I think it is great for the girls (and boys too!) to see women out there as refs. My two ARs today weren’t ones who eased in at 10u, but were pretty new to it, having stepped up because no one else would do it for their teams. So for me it was more like doing a game solo and coaching the ARs. One goal I called back after a midfield OS that I wasn’t sure about from where I was, but I talked it through with my AR and were able to put the pieces together and call it back. Frankly, it was a great day on the pitch, despite a not very competitive game—the girls were having fun, and both ARs wanted to learn and get better. Quite a nice way to start my morning.
 
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