A&H

Getting back on the bike ...

Paul Clarke

Paul Clarke

New Member
Some of you may remember that last summer I did the course, went to do the first of my 5 games and had an absolute howler. I have not referred a game since. Its partly because I lost confidence, and partly life stuff that just took over. However I am ready to start again. I am going to read LOTG and try to brush up on stuff. Can anybody recommend what I should go for as my next game back? Sundays are out for me so it would have to be Saturday's or evenings. Anyone in Somerset recommend a league? I seem to be in the middle of all of them so have a long list given to me !

Any pointers gratefully received.
 
The Referee Store
Start with youth games build up your confidence then move up to senior youth. Don't rush to get to OA. Take your time spend a season doing youth and near the end dip into OA when you have the games behind you.
 
Paul, first thing, Welcome back! Can I ask what issues did you struggle with? What went specifically wrong last time? and what has changed to make you think that this is for you and that demon has gone? We have all have stinkers once in a while, we can all really question our participation, some are self inflicted messes and some are absolutely not your fault, idiot players etc etc, before responding i guess I need a bit more meat on the bone as to the circumstances why you initially jacked in.
 
Hi Paul

Great to see you pop up again. Don't have time to give you a proper answer now, but I'll have a ponder and get back to you.

Jeff
 
Hi Paul,

Great that you have decided to give it another go.
Definitely brush up on the LOTG.
Agreeing with @Tino Best I would start at youth and maybe work your way up through the age groups which will help build confidence.
I would Join the local referee society, plenty of experienced heads there that would be happy to help you. See if anybody can come and watch you and give you some specific advice on your performance, something we cant do here. Maybe speak to your RDO and see if he can allocate you a mentor.
Once you've built a bit of confidence see if you can get some games as an assisstant. This gives you the opportunity to watch other referees, from there you can learn them what to do and what not to do.
Finally, enjoy it. Its an incredibly rewarding hobby which presents a fair challenge or two. As @Sheffields Finest said we all have a stinker and thats not always our fault. Always self reflect on what went well, what didnt go well, and what you might try differently in your next game.
 
Basically in my first game I expected to be awesome and I wasn't , I realise that now! Things I did well: I was assertive, my positing was ok, my fitness was surprisingly ok, I used my cards (in the end) . Things that went wrong: I basically lost control of the game, didn't get my cards out early enough and it resulted in a punch up between two players . whom I sent off. I wasn't ready for the level of aggression from three of the players. One of them told me I did not know what I was doing, a couple told me that if there was a punch up it was my fault. Once my confidence went I lost the plot to call anything and it was embarrassing.

I did actually enjoy being out there though for at least part of it, and the second half once things had settled down and I had got my cards out was quiet. I also got a really nice letter from the club apologising for the conduct of one of their players and asking me back. I think I should not waste my training and give it a go for at least a few more games and take the final exam. But I want to do it properly this time.
 
Paul Clarke said:
Basically in my first game I expected to be awesome and I wasn't , I realise that now! Things I did well: I was assertive, my positing was ok, my fitness was surprisingly ok, I used my cards (in the end) . Things that went wrong: I basically lost control of the game, didn't get my cards out early enough and it resulted in a punch up between two players . whom I sent off. I wasn't ready for the level of aggression from three of the players. One of them told me I did not know what I was doing, a couple told me that if there was a punch up it was my fault. Once my confidence went I lost the plot to call anything and it was embarrassing.
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My advice, don't listen to the players. Its always going to be your fault in their eyes, thats cop out on their part. Its your fault a player decides to punch another, come off it!

I had one game where I left the field and both teams we very unhappy with me. The manager of one of the teams shook my hand and said "One to forget about today, ref" the captain of the other team said "Probably best we don't dwell on that game" Thing was, I was also being assessed and I got an "Above Standard" mark from the assessor who thought I had an excellent game and didn't shy away from making some of the tough calls.

We all have games where no matter what you do and how you try and manage it, the players just want to whine and complain or kick lumps out of each other, thats on the players, not you!
 
Don't listen to what the players think, they normally have a poor grasp of the laws, managers will only yell about the decisions which go against them, but there will be no congratulating when it goes for their team. At OA you don't really need to worry about spectators, well at the level I ref at you don't. If you do Youth ignore the parents and if they are being unreasonable speak to the relevent coach immediatley and follow the stepped approach to having abusive ones removed. Again when doing youth do not shy away from using your cards they are great tools for match control. If you think a challenge deserves yellow hand it out, and once you pull out a yellow for dissent it stops most of the time.
 
paul welcome back you now realise refereeing isnt easy, but it does get better with experience, i agree with the advice you have already been given, start with the younger age groups learn your job. and remember any questions senarios you face somebody on here will have been there, good luck
 
I know how you feel Paul. I'm 15 and only completed my course recently. I had done my training games and was purely doing games before the exam for experience. It back Fired after a U11 game that went to penalties and turned into a horrible mess between a club appointed Lino and coaches and fans of home team. Not gonna dwell on it but along abuse I received and extreme exam stress I actually plunged into horrible aniexty and stress for a good month in the lead up to GSCE's. I was put off and decided I wasn't gonna do anymore games this season (incident around beginning of may) after I passed my exam a week later. Eventually pulled myself out of the darkness with help from a successful U11 Cup final I was given after the Ref Secratary said I deserved it (risky move I know). The stuff that happened was in the back of my mind but Final went fanstasticaly with a Stone Cold penalty being given by me that eventually was the winner. (Even if losing team didn't think so, Had a women come up to me and said I dislike football and no nothing but I knew that wasn't a penalty. Kinda says it all really! ) Although I didnt do a game since due to my exams I can safely say it helped me pull back together and I now look forward to next season a lot!
 
Good lick mate, and congrats on deciding to give it another bash.

We all have a shocker, even the guys at the top do.

I've had games where I've walked off thinking I'd had a mare only to be told by both teams I'd had a good game. I've walked off being told I'm the worst ref in the world etc only to get a decent assessment.

Similarly had a bit of a shocker in a preseason cup at the start of last season, had one of the teams again and ended up getting a club mark of 100.

You also need to remember 90% of players and spectators don't know the laws of the game, and their judgement will always be clouded by their allegiance.

I won't say it gets easier, as the more games you do your league will start giving you more challenging games, but you'll be able to control things and deal with incidents better, and your confidence will grow which will aid match control.
 
In the early days we all get those games.

The trick is to learn to recognise what caused the loss of control then work on avoiding it in the next game. It takes a while and 7 years on I am still coming across situations that create learning.

As many have said, ignore players and their opinions- they are utterly clueless 99% of the time.
 
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