"Have a word Ref"

[Matt Redmond]

That shout you get after every tackle. But what do you say when you have a word with a player about a tackle? I always feel like im stating the obvious saying "You cant tackle like that, that's a foul. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt now but dont give me reason to speak to you again"

also just as a side question, issued a caution and both teams complaining about it being "harsh" seem to lose confidence and ultimately control of the match after that. Any advise?

 

[Colt]

Firstly, when you have a word with the player, I always pull them to the side so no one else is really about. Sometimes I will get the Captain ( dependant on the situation), most of the time I say 'That was wreckless, this is your warning do it again and your booked'

As for loosing control of the match. Just keep doing what you were doing before. Book people if you need to, its your call. Would you rather be 'soft' and let things go so the players like you or 'hard' where you book people but the players don't like you...

Your job is the referee the game so it is played fairly. I wouldn't concern myself with players saying you were harsh...

 

[HullRef]

Say something like that, you can pull him right out of the way and add "I am mainly talking to you to let everyone calm down but you can't tackle like that anything else like that and you'll be in the book" while doing this make sure to use some big hand gestures so that people from both sides can see what you are saying.

 

[BrisRef]

Of course it may seem harsh to the teams, but ultimately you must have seen a foul that merited a yellow card in the first place so you yourself must know that, even if a little 'harsh', it is deserved as per the laws of the game. As for your confidence, just remember that you are the ref, you were right and keep doing what you're doing! I personally like to keep a tally of 'mistakes' I might have made in my head. Each mistake I do means that I add one to the tally, making me want to work harder to get the next call right in an attempt to keep the tally as low as possible. Helps keep my focus up, might work for you too...

When talking to a player, I just make it known that he cannot tackle like how he just did or he may face disciplinary action. As said above, call captain over to help calm him down etc if necessary. Not much needs to be said, keep it simple IMO.

 

[Brian Hamilton]

That shout you get after every tackle. But what do you say when you have a word with a player about a tackle? I always feel like im stating the obvious saying "You cant tackle like that, that's a foul. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt now but dont give me reason to speak to you again"

also just as a side question, issued a caution and both teams complaining about it being "harsh" seem to lose confidence and ultimately control of the match after that. Any advise?

If you have a chat with the player, then stating the obvious is often the simplest and easiest thing to say. Just beware of painting yourself into a corner by saying something like, "If you do that again, I will caution/send you off". It's better to be vague but obvious, such as, "If you do that again, I MIGHT have to caution/send you off". I wouldn't worry about keeping a tally of mistakes in game as there may be a subconscious attempt to re-dress those mistakes by making incorrect decisions.

Far better to sit down a few hours after the game or even the next day and reflect on your performance. Consider when you felt low in confidence, ask yourself why you felt like that? If it was because you got a dispute over a decision, is there anything you could have done to either make the right decision (if on reflection you got it wrong) or to be more convincing in making that decision (the way you signalled, the viewing angle of the incident, your proximity to play when it occurred, etc.). If you find you have common factors in each of the decisions where your confidence was sapped, then decide how you could become more effective in those decisions.

On the other hand, it might be that you had a troublesome player who you didn't deal with effectively. If that's the case, then consider using the stepped approach by having a quiet word, then an obvious one, then a major chat (bring the captain in to support you at this time and only talk to the captain, not the player, on this one), before moving to caution and then dismissal. Persistent offenders can make your life more difficult if you ignore them or don't take action. Deal with them effectively and other players may see this and fall into line without you having to take any action directly with them.

Final point and this is for Colt ... if a challenge is reckless, then it is a caution, not a chat. Teams don't like referees who don't take action when they should.

 

[BrisRef]

If you have a chat with the player, then stating the obvious is often the simplest and easiest thing to say. Just beware of painting yourself into a corner by saying something like, "If you do that again, I will caution/send you off". It's better to be vague but obvious, such as, "If you do that again, I MIGHT have to caution/send you off". I wouldn't worry about keeping a tally of mistakes in game as there may be a subconscious attempt to re-dress those mistakes by making incorrect decisions.

Far better to sit down a few hours after the game or even the next day and reflect on your performance. Consider when you felt low in confidence, ask yourself why you felt like that? If it was because you got a dispute over a decision, is there anything you could have done to either make the right decision (if on reflection you got it wrong) or to be more convincing in making that decision (the way you signalled, the viewing angle of the incident, your proximity to play when it occurred, etc.). If you find you have common factors in each of the decisions where your confidence was sapped, then decide how you could become more effective in those decisions.

On the other hand, it might be that you had a troublesome player who you didn't deal with effectively. If that's the case, then consider using the stepped approach by having a quiet word, then an obvious one, then a major chat (bring the captain in to support you at this time and only talk to the captain, not the player, on this one), before moving to caution and then dismissal. Persistent offenders can make your life more difficult if you ignore them or don't take action. Deal with them effectively and other players may see this and fall into line without you having to take any action directly with them.

Final point and this is for Colt ... if a challenge is reckless, then it is a caution, not a chat. Teams don't like referees who don't take action when they should.

Good advice there - fair point about the tally, I just brought it up as it works for me personally. I would never try to 'balance' anything with another wrong decision, just helps keep my alertness and sharpness rather than worrying about what happened 10 minutes ago.

 

[Richthekeeper]

Say something like that, you can pull him right out of the way and add "I am mainly talking to you to let everyone calm down but you can't tackle like that anything else like that and you'll be in the book" while doing this make sure to use some big hand gestures so that people from both sides can see what you are saying.

I really like this and use it quite often. Sometimes you need to be seen to be "doing something" about a situation just to appease the players/manager/spectators. It can be as simple as explaining that you know the tackle was mistimed or clumsy not malicious but you still have to give a free kick. I tend to be reasonably sympathetic because the level I referee at is a low standard.

In other situations such as aerial challenges and the like, I find it's useful to tell people what I'm looking for so they know what they've done wrong!

Of course sometimes you have to be more firm but in my opinion if I feel the need to be firm then I should probably be issuing a caution.

 

[Ryan Owens]

Why would you decide to do something just to be seen doing something and subsequently tell one of the players on the pitch that you're just doing it to keep up appearances? If you're going to talk to a player, bloody talk to him for a good reason.

 

[Richthekeeper]

if that was aimed at me, i do think there is merit in talking to a player to make sure that others (the oppo coach for example) can see that you're doing your job. however i wouldn't tell the player that, i'd just tell him what he'd done wrong.

overall i prefer to have a quiet word with a player while jogging past or at a natural stoppage of the game, rather than making a big show of calling him over. but whatever works.

 

[MattyontheWhistle]

If i call a player over to talk to, then the other 21 players have to stop and wait for it to happen, so it means he is on a final warning and next time I have to talk to him it will be to ask his name.

Otherwise, quiet words jogging along with them, or at breaks in play, or clear finger wagging and facial expressions from a distance.

 

[HullRef]

Why would you decide to do something just to be seen doing something and subsequently tell one of the players on the pitch that you're just doing it to keep up appearances? If you're going to talk to a player, bloody talk to him for a good reason.

Most payers don't/can't tell the difference between a good tackle and a foul, so if they see a tackle as a foul and it isn't (or not as bad as it looks to everyone else) then a word with the player involved can be used to calm everyone down before resuming play.

 

[MattyontheWhistle]

Agree with HullRef about the players.

For me a 'quiet word' could be:
See the tackle
Blow the whistle
"Awww come on Ref!"
"That's as bad as I'm gonna see today please!" (everyone hears it)

Sort the free kick out and get on with it.

If he continues to moan, finger to my lips and get on with it - the captain usually says "Leave it Billy, get on with your game" or something like that.

If I stop the game to talk to someone, it really is their last warning!

 

[Grayson]

Typical Billy

 

[Coops]

That shout you get after every tackle. But what do you say when you have a word with a player about a tackle? I always feel like im stating the obvious saying "You cant tackle like that, that's a foul. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt now but dont give me reason to speak to you again"

also just as a side question, issued a caution and both teams complaining about it being "harsh" seem to lose confidence and ultimately control of the match after that. Any advise?

I like to take the heat out of this situation. The manager wants you to be seen to be doing something but there is not really an offence committed. Isolate the player and stand close to him. Look at him while speaking to him and tell the player to nod his head while you are telling him no offence occurred and don't listen to them on the line. The manager will think you are having a word and you will gain the players respect because he will see you are in control of the game and not the manager. It also seems to calm down the player going forward in the game. Works every time for me.

 

[haywain]

I like to take the heat out of this situation. The manager wants you to be seen to be doing something but there is not really an offence committed. Isolate the player and stand close to him. Look at him while speaking to him and tell the player to nod his head while you are telling him no offence occurred and don't listen to them on the line. The manager will think you are having a word and you will gain the players respect because he will see you are in control of the game and not the manager. It also seems to calm down the player going forward in the game. Works every time for me.

If it works for you then that's fine, tho if you're talking to a player when you don't need to because a manager has said, 'have a word, ref' or similar, that does suggest, to me at least, that the manager is more in control of the game than you might care to think.

personally, i'd be having a real word with the guy, player or manager, who kept telling me to 'have a word' if i thought it was out of order

 

[Brian Hamilton]

If it works for you then that's fine, tho if you're talking to a player when you don't need to because a manager has said, 'have a word, ref' or similar, that does suggest, to me at least, that the manager is more in control of the game than you might care to think.

personally, i'd be having a real word with the guy, player or manager, who kept telling me to 'have a word' if i thought it was out of order

Knowing Coops as I do, no one controls his games other than him

 

[Ryan Owens]

Most payers don't/can't tell the difference between a good tackle and a foul, so if they see a tackle as a foul and it isn't (or not as bad as it looks to everyone else) then a word with the player involved can be used to calm everyone down before resuming play.

But if you pull that player over to have a word, it looks like you think it was a foul and there was some other reason for you not calling the foul (advantage, possibly). I would say that unless you actually want to speak to that player, don't bother.