How to deal with older (senior) players?

[Robi]

Hello!

I'm 20 years old and i have this weekend first time senior game. For now i had just U17 and U19. I like to know how you manage with them? What you said before the game, how should I call the players, with respect or just like how i deal in younger selection? Some suggestion?

Thanks

 

[santa sangria]

with respect or

That could easily be misunderstood!

I turn this on its head. I am over 40. When I ref 14-20 year olds I treat them with respect. I treat them as I would adults. I say the same things before the match and the same phrases during the game. I am not condescending, I never try to use my height, age, reach or whatever to dominate smaller, younger players. This means that when I am with adults and reffing from 20-60 year olds, I treat them exactly the same.

In my brief experience I have found that petulant outbursts, childish behaviour, the red mist, childish insults etc. are all much more common from the 30-35 year olds!

It's a yes from me. Of course, with respect. Every game. Show respect. I think it is up to us to continue to show respect even when one or more players clearer doesn't deserve it. That's why we are in the middle. That's why we are trained, paid, practiced etc. I find that the slightly slower teenage games are great for focusing on the technical side of things - details that become natural in feistier manic OA games.

Depending on the level you are at, what might change is your foul tolerance. The youth games I do are at a higher level than the adult games. The youth players I ref typically train 4-5 times a week and have semi pro coaches. Most of the adults do not. With 14 year old elite players I am usually very strict. In my recent games I have been surprised at how well drilled in the dark arts the best 14 year old girls are! With lower league adults in a mixed ability match, there is naturally greater tolerance for accidental contact. Grappling in OA from two guys comfortable with contact probably gets a different interpretation from the more premeditated holding I see at U14-16 - even though the actual physical action might be the same.

Don't know if that helps but I was thinking about this today

 

[WAFCryan2014]

I'm 16 and have been refereeing up to U16s and just treat them with respect and talk to them throughout the game.

 

[OIREF!]

It's difficult because you can get problem players and teams at any age group. The obvious accusation is that you are young and inexperienced so you need to look confident. A strong hand shake and eye contact with the captains at kick off is a good start. Concentrate, use your whistle and be decisive. Personally I find 17/19s a challenging age group but the pace of the game is probably similar depending n the level of football.

 

[santa sangria]

It's difficult because you can get problem players and teams at any age group. The obvious accusation is that you are young and inexperienced so you need to look confident. A strong hand shake and eye contact with the captains at kick off is a good start. Concentrate, use your whistle and be decisive. Personally I find 17/19s a challenging age group but the pace of the game is probably similar depending n the level of football.

Agree with that. Below the top tiers of U20 and a few years below there seems to be a combination of angst, lack of responsibility and mixed ability that causes sparks!

 

[Tino Best]

Strong whistle and be strong on dissent. Treat all players with respect and you will be fine. If a red is called for give a red.

 

[Sheffields Finest]

As I got more experienced I found that my highest card count was the tough tackling 30+ gobby midfield general type. They tended to bully all referees so I made a stance, I took no schdt, I stamped on it straight away even to the point of insisting they walk back to you to take a bollocking regardless of how it slowed the game down. If you make a stance on these players then all the sheep will follow, You'll eventually earn a respect reputation and it will eventually lessen, it will never stop because some of these are habitual offenders, once a c0ck and all that, but lesser games will ref themselves. I had some lovely messages when I semi-retired 2 years ago from some players and managers showing appreciation for my actions against these knobs! That was refreshing from the usually silent majority. I'd never win a popularity contest amongst all players but you'd be damn sure that opposing players or I weren't being bullied. The arse teams never booked me, great! Go and spoil other refs weekends...

Try being Mr B'stard a bit, once you get your stripes they'll know your line in the sand, after that they'll be like putty in your hands! The you can chill out and enjoy the crack!

 

[Justylove]

Yep show em your the boss.

Did a game fairly recently with a pretty mouthy team and a couple of more senior players in particular very vocal. First "friendly word in passing" on 3 minutes, bollocking with the captain present on 7 minutes and offender in the book on 13 minutes. No other cautions in the game, once the players realised who was in charge they got on with the game and in fact turned out to be a good game to referee.

Don't let them bully you!

 

[Robi]

Thanks for answers. But I cannot be "*******s" if I'm 20 years old and player are more than 25-40. You need to have respect for them no? But i would like to ask specially what to say in the middle of the game when is foul like holding the hands, tripping. I said many times like: Number 10 i see what you are doing. Or hands away,.. But i would like to know what you are saying when you call the player to you and he have already few warnings from you,. I hope you understand what i liked to ask

 

[Justylove]

Thanks for answers. But I cannot be "*******s" if I'm 20 years old and player are more than 25-40. You need to have respect for them no? But i would like to ask specially what to say in the middle of the game when is foul like holding the hands, tripping. I said many times like: Number 10 i see what you are doing. Or hands away,.. But i would like to know what you are saying when you call the player to you and he have already few warnings from you,. I hope you understand what i liked to ask

so on any foul committed, the first question you ask after diagnosing the foul is "careless, reckless or excessive" that defines whether you need to go for a card straightaway. Assuming the challenges you are speaking about are careless, then a general rule of thumb is that if you think "that's Away 10 again" then it's probably time you take some action, which I'd suggest is the stepped approach

Step 1 - quiet word "I've seen it, that's enough for you to be on my radar, just be careful" you can do this as you run past him.
Step 2 - formal word "I've asked you once, now I'm telling you, you are walking a fine line here" you do this nice and loud and confidently, bringing in the captain if you think it will help.
Step 3 - yellow card "yes please, I did warn you earlier, name please"

By taking this approach you are setting the player up to either change his behaviour, or get a card. Once you've given the public word, then there are no surprises when you get the card out, for persistently infringing the laws of the game.

Don't fall into the trap of just keep warning a player over and over, otherwise they will just keep pushing the limits.

 

[Paul March]

Be fit, be honest, be consistent, be respectful, be approachable and take no sh/t

Players will try it on regardless of your age so do your job the best you possibly can and you will be fine

 

[zarathustra]

What others have said. You need to show the players respect, talk to them like human beings, maybe join in with the craic if the players are up for it, but if you need to tough then be tough.

Some players will never learn, but you'll find most won't have a problem if you're firm, but it has to be consistent. Which could mean amassing a large number of cards in some games.

I had a game where the away team were obviously used to bullying the opposition, lots of blatant pushing and little trips etc, but nothing worth a card until the 15th minute, then 10 minutes later another away player in the book for delaying the restart. And they call calmed down, except the keeper who went on the book for dissent, and a home player with a reckless challenge.

After the match it was handshakes and smiles all round, they knew what they'd done, and the recognised that I wasn't going to let them bully the other team.