A&H

How to shake off mistakes

S

Spireross

New Member
Had my second game back after a couple of years out today. It just went wrong from start to finish, started off with inspecting the wrong pitch (pitch numbers have changed and the council haven't updated their website apparently) and the game just went horribly, missed a potential foul by being in the wrong place and having my view obstructed. Still, the home team were pretty angry with the tackle and even more upset that I'd missed it which left one of their players injured. It just went downhill from there with me trying too hard to make sure I was in the right place and not miss anything and it ended up in the worst game I've ever done, being way too strict.

So my question is how do you shake it off when you know you've dropped a clanger so it doesn't affect the rest of the game? I know games will get better as I get back into the swing of things but it's them mid-match moments of doubt I struggle with.
 
The Referee Store
I think part of is experience. The reality is that every ref, I. Every game makes mistakes. That’s just part of life. Just like the best athletes are the ones who can forget the mistake they just made and move on the next play, the best refs are the ones who can forget the mistake in the moment. The time to contemplate our mistakes is not during the match. It’s after the match. And it isn’t about self-flagellation, but about asking the question “what could I have done to have done that better?” And then we learn from it and move on.

i don’t think there is a magic formula, but just recognizing that even the best FIFA refs make bad mistakes from time to time, and moving on to what is in front of us.
 
Getting a decision wrong because you missed it is just one of those things. Make sure next time that team is fouled you give it.

Missed penalties will always weigh on your mind for the remainder of any game and sometimes psychologically you will over-compensate and give a "75%" penalty. It's human nature.
 
It’s natural to get annoyed by mistakes. We all make them. Players make a lot more! Yes, pay attention to the areas you want to improve- also think about the hundreds of decisions you got right in that game.
 
The key thing is immediately getting it out of your head. You will usually know when you have dropped a clanger, and if you dwell on it I can guarantee you will make further mistakes. This is an area I really struggled with, when things started to go wrong I tried too hard to right things and they just went even more wrong.

You have to somehow get it out of your head straight away.
 
The first thing to accept as a referee (and not forget) is that you make maybe 400 decisions a game but only get remembered for the 1 you get wrong.

It's fair to say we all make at least one mistake in a game, how we that effects us is solely down to our frame of mind. You can beat yourself up, listen to the players, take it to heart and feel totally worthless. You make yourself feel like that, no one else. On a similar basis, you can control your mind to think positive and move on.

I find in scenarios like that, holding your hands up to the players apologising that you were out of position and that someone ran into your line of vision at the moment of the challenge does help. Players need to be reminded sometimes that you too are human.

We all know how you feel as we've all been there. The players would've moved on now, no reason why you shouldn't.

Best of luck
 
socal lurker said:
I think part of is experience. The reality is that every ref, I. Every game makes mistakes. That’s just part of life. Just like the best athletes are the ones who can forget the mistake they just made and move on the next play, the best refs are the ones who can forget the mistake in the moment. The time to contemplate our mistakes is not during the match. It’s after the match. And it isn’t about self-flagellation, but about asking the question “what could I have done to have done that better?” And then we learn from it and move on.

i don’t think there is a magic formula, but just recognizing that even the best FIFA refs make bad mistakes from time to time, and moving on to what is in front of us.
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Remember the first game of the euros (?) where the AR flagged offside for a player recieving a short ball from a corner?

It happens to the best of them!

Also, not a biggie but I pointed the wrong way for an obvious throw in yesterday.

Thankfully all taken in good spirits but it knocked me for a couple of minutes how I could get something so obvious wrong.


Don't dwell on mistakes, even big ones. Focus on nailing the future ones in the game.
 
Firstly, sometimes I have had an excellent game where players think I was awful and others I know I have been poor, but no one seemed to notice or care. So, I've learned by now that once the game is done, it's done. Likewise with any decision in the game. So, chin up and move on.

During a game, when I know I've made a mistake or I find my mind drifting (mainly in younger age groups), I often mouth to myself "ok, reset and focus" and think start again and put everything that has happened in the game behind me. Of course the two teams may still be banging on about it but that't their problem and I'll address that when it happens as if all my calls were right to that point.

BTW: you said you missed a potential foul and your view was obstructed. It may not have been a foul, so remember that.
 
Gamespoiler said:
I find in scenarios like that, holding your hands up to the players apologising that you were out of position and that someone ran into your line of vision at the moment of the challenge does help. Players need to be reminded sometimes that you too are human.
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Sometimes, it is easier to explain that this was one of your first matches. Too often, we try and projected that new referees are the finished product, but we are not. Saying sorry that you missed it, thought it wasn't a foul, etc is the best solution. When players miss a sitter, their team mates rally around them, so players make simple mistakes.

Grassroots players have to accept that you are there learning ! If they can't ???
 
I think its only on here and chatting with fellow refs that " Sorry I didn't see it" is , correctly, seen as a possible error on the referee's part.

Most players etc will accept that if you tell them.

Sometimes though, there WILL be incidents that you don't see even if you are in the "correct" position.
 
Appreciate all the words and advice. Ironically the first game back I did was one of the best I’ve ever done so I think it annoys me more that I know I didn’t live up to my own standards.

Have to admit, sat here over 24 hours later, im dying to get back out there this weekend and not be so harsh on myself. I’m the same in al aspects of life, a perfectionist if you will, so I’m looking forward to trying some techniques to clear my mind and reset once a mistake happens.
 
To regain focus, I start literally to commentate about what I need to be aware of (but not so anyone else can hear!) eg. "Last touch was off red if it goes... he's coming at speed into the challenge..."
 
Gamespoiler said:
The players would've moved on now
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Hardly, in my experience in grassroots ☺️

As mentioned, there is no magic solution. Experience helps. And even if you shake it off, there are games that you just make bad decisions one after other. One of the key things is try and minimise the impact of what players say. Make it completely your decision.

I have had games that I have gone to both or one captain and apologised for having a sh!t game. And it is mostly accepted. But generally don't say I know a certain decision was wrong. Just that you know you haven't had you best game.
 
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