A&H

Nerves

Danny

Member
Hi folks,
I passed my referee course last year in October and due to running my sons Junior Football team I have struggled to get games in etc. However Im to to go to level 7 in November.

I've refereed a few friendlies now. A fair few mini football games, but 5, 9v9 and been assessed on one of them with my next assessed game being on the 6th Nov (day before my call back)

Anyway due to the games I've had I wanted to ask a few questions.

Now, I tend to suffer with OCD and usually like things spot on, but as a new ref, I'm starting to pre match nerves alot whereby I don't want to do the match, but once the KO happens I'm away and content.

I have issues with myself, in which if I have a decision I question, it plays on my mind, but I don't want it to snowball. Sometimes mid game I see a foul and give it, but then plays on my mind that I didn't earlier. Am I too lenient? Which way was that throwing right in front of parents? Did I call it right? Just yesterday I put my left arm up for a throw to Red and knew straight away it should have been my right where the Reds were attacking. That made me think how it looks.

I find I'm vocal about challenges if they're good to let everyone know. My whistling is clear but all these questions and scenarios flow through my mind mid game.

I am not a career referee, as I run junior teams but when I ref, I'm nit enjoying it as much as I thought I would.

Is this normal? Is Adult football better than Kids football to Ref?

Would appreciate people's feedback.

Thanks
Dan
 
The Referee Store
Hello Dan,

I think we all have periods where we look forward to games some weeks, more than others.

2 acid tests for me

1) When game starts, do you (mostly) enjoy it and afterwards do you think a) that was a job well done or b) glad thats out of the way

2) If you don't have a game scheduled are you thinking a) good b) wish I had a game this weekend

In game management, people on here and others can hlep with but only you ,in your heart of hearts know if refereeing is really for you.

Think you need to find your own level - do a youth game very week, see how you feel - not good? - try every other week.

Still not enjoying it? Try a different league or open age or a ladies/girls league.

If after a few combinations you really are still not enjoying it, then you will know its not for you.

In game - that's easier! Firstly ALL referees make mistakes - try not to analyse during the game but concentrate on next decision.

After the game, think about any obvious errors and what you could have done to prevent them.

On your specific throw in point - try calling out "red throw", then let arm follow - that should help with that one at least!
 
Cheers Paul, I think in time I will enjoy it, but as it's new I'm analysing everything. As a junior manage I've seen my fair share of refs getting abuse and probably expect it. Just yesterday I had a few that were shouting referee! But I ignored that.

Good point on the call then arm. What would you do if your not sure which way? Would you give to defence?

On part of game ball went out for a GK then a few kids needed boots tying etc. Then a minute or two later restart but I even questioned if it was a GK.

Not ideal having lapses in concentration then questioning I guess :-/
 
i suffer terrible pre match nerves ... must have reffed 200+ matches by now ... still awful pre match nerves

but then hey, Robbie Williams has stage fright ... yep, picture that ... a multi millionaire recording artist, and in your face entertainer - suffers bad stage fright ...
 
Throw in - yes if really 50/50 give to defence.

Be confident with those, end of the day its "just" a throw in - I know players/fans react as if its a game changer, but rarely are!

"Red throw", arm out, nice and confident, move on.

Any delay, just do a mental note to self about restart - not easy, if major confrontation or a serious injury or a long delay but just being aware will help you remember.
 
Cheers Guys

Very insightful. Do you guys do Junior or operate and have a preference? If so why?

Yesterday I did an U7 and a U8 straight after, found the U8s easier to Ref for some reason.
 
Danny,
Well done so far, but I have to ask why are you refereeing such a young age? I'd recommend you only do 9 v 9 or 11 v 11 games. By all means, earn your spurs on youth leagues for a season or two but you need the challenge of older more experienced players.
Best of luck, I'm sure you'll begin to enjoy most matches.
 
Hi Minty,

Sure you can ask. It's mainly a convenience thing. I manage 3 u8s teams and a U7s. But also help coach my eldest sons team at U13. So games have been few and far between, but now things have settled a little I want to build my portfolio.
 
Wow!
One team would be more than enough for me! It also explains a lot. You probably need to think whether you want to coach or manage rather than trying to do them both. I got into refereeing when my son's team changed to 11 v 11 a number of years ago. No way I was going to coach or manage but I could be their official ref. Couple of years later, I was refereeing nearly every Sunday.
 
It does get a lot at times 3 days with my youngest two and 2 days with my eldest team.

But the Mini football season ends soon so I can build my refereeing up. It's taken a while to even ref a u7s off my own back due to nerves ha ha.

Interested to see what people prefer Juniors or Adults and why though
 
My heart belongs to youth football but the parents are frequently a pain in the proverbial. P refer open age but have started doing some youth after a couple of seasons away. Generally easier to referee!
 
Big Robbie fan here.
I get nervous before matches as a ref - especially so if there is an assessor. I have done a lot of gigs too. Just like on stage, there is nowhere to hide as a ref. With young age groups you really are exposed and so little happens it can feel like all eyes are on you. They're not. Remember it's for the kids ;) The parents are watching the kids. At gigs, all the girls are watching the drummer!

Just like gigs, with a new band, especially if it is your own material, of course you analyse every "mistake". It takes a while to get comfortable with "mistakes". Hendrix found it funny when he heard other players "copying his mistakes" ;) On stage great players make sense of each others' deviations from the script in solos and so forth. When you work in a good team with ARs, it's not dissimilar, you support each other.

Just playing bigger venues with more people, I find higher level adult football addictive. I played a gig at a stadium once. With 20k plus when you can't see faces anymore. I'd love to try that with the flag or the whistle. I'd throw up beforehand no doubt!

The thing is with the "mistakes" - it doesn't take long to realise that we are human. It is healthy to analyse your "mistakes". I visualise a lot. But don't let it stop you. A slipped finger here, tripping over a cable, a flat note, a wrong throw in, a bogus advantage... that's human.

Just don't forget the words! Bring a spare guitar! Take your time before the red cards and penalty decisions! Wear two watches!
 
Nerves are a good thing... it shows you care about how you will perform. its not for everybody i dont think but theres some good advice i here about different levels/age groups to try.

I hope its not rude but you sound like you lack confidence but that will grow as you find your feet and find what does and doesnt work for you in game.

And finally, always asess after the game... in game it doesnt matter move on to the next decision. you'll remember the bits you thought were a bit iffy and can reflect on how to change that in future in the post match shower. :D
 
Thanks James, Tbh I get terrible nerves pregrame and when first whistle goes and I settle in. I will try and block the questionable decisions till afterwards. I think cause I've seen so much agro to referees as a player, parent and now manager I'm expecting it, then thinking how to deal with it afterwards.

Milestones are a big thing for me ie, when I get my first booking, when the first red is shown etc. How will I deal with it, how will I others etc. I guess time will tell :)
 
I have been reffing for four years now, always have nerves before a football game no matter what age it is at. However the nerves soon disappear in a game and always come away with everyone saying that I was confident.

All that needs to be done is to get the games in and be confident and not judge decisions throughout the game.
 
I used to suffer from nerves quite a bit, I've been officiating now for 7 years - more than half of it at professional and semi-professional level. I guess once you grown as a referee and as a person along with developing your own style it becomes easier. Dont be scared to make mistakes in your formative years because it will make you a better referee.

I have a set routine before games with respect to food, how and when I pack my bag, what I do an arrival at the stadium etc. So long as I stick to my routine everything is fine. Dont let nerves destroy a very fulfilling hobby.
 
Back
Top