Parents not liking cards being used..

[Mustang23]

Reffed a game yesterday and as was walking off the pitch a few parents wanted to voice their opinions as per the norm... I issued 3 yellow cards (one in fact on reflection one was border line for a red) and I was politely informed by the parents that they are only kids and is it necessary (u15s age group). The cards came out after speaking to a number of players about the tackles that were going.
Just wondered if anyone else experiences this from parents or coaches?

 

[JamesL]

If and when you move up in to adults football you will encounter numerous referees, myself included who avoid junior football as a result of parent behaviour.
Nothing new. They still think their little Jonny will make it to the big leagues, when in reality if they aren't playing academy football by that age then they are even more statistically less likely to do so!

 

[Brian Hamilton]

Reffed a game yesterday and as was walking off the pitch a few parents wanted to voice their opinions as per the norm... I issued 3 yellow cards (one in fact on reflection one was border line for a red) and I was politely informed by the parents that they are only kids and is it necessary (u15s age group). The cards came out after speaking to a number of players about the tackles that were going.
Just wondered if anyone else experiences this from parents or coaches?

All the time. Ignore it.

 

[lincs22]

Reffed a game yesterday and as was walking off the pitch a few parents wanted to voice their opinions as per the norm... I issued 3 yellow cards (one in fact on reflection one was border line for a red) and I was politely informed by the parents that they are only kids and is it necessary (u15s age group). The cards came out after speaking to a number of players about the tackles that were going.
Just wondered if anyone else experiences this from parents or coaches?

These U15's are no longer "little Johnny" , but players who have been coached for 8+ years. They watch the pros on the TV and want to be like them. So, the reckless challenges, dissent have to be dealt with accordingly.

The kids want to be like their hero's, so they deserve the punishments - I am a strong advocate of cautioning harshly for the players dealing the restart / taking their shirts off after scoring. They know what they are doing......

 

[Gavf93]

Had this yesterday spoke to one player on 3 seperate occasions before issuing the card when the parents pipped up saying what's that for I shouted dissent on 3 seperate occasions then I was told by his parent "it's not all about you ref"

My response was to get my cards and whistle and gestured to the parent if you want to do a better job be my guest

Surprisingly he let me continue

 

[george.g]

Just ignore them, they're old enough to understand what they're doing, and therefore old enough to deal with a card.

I sent off in a U17 yesterday, by that age most were fine, some still had problems.

 

[Russell Jones]

Had this yesterday spoke to one player on 3 seperate occasions before issuing the card when the parents pipped up saying what's that for I shouted dissent on 3 seperate occasions then I was told by his parent "it's not all about you ref"

My response was to get my cards and whistle and gestured to the parent if you want to do a better job be my guest

Surprisingly he let me continue

Well done for dealing with the offender. If the spectators were unsure what the caution was for, then you might want to consider what body language / gestures you could make that might better communicate this to everyone.

 

[socal lurker]

At 15 whining about cards to their precious snow flake. Good grief. Though I did have a G14U parent complain to my AR that I was “mean” when I carded her daughter who had completely steamrolled an opponent. . .

 

[Kent Ref]

Had this yesterday spoke to one player on 3 seperate occasions before issuing the card when the parents pipped up saying what's that for I shouted dissent on 3 seperate occasions then I was told by his parent "it's not all about you ref"

My response was to get my cards and whistle and gestured to the parent if you want to do a better job be my guest

Surprisingly he let me continue

Maybe a yellow on the second occasion next time?

 

[Murri O]

Had this yesterday spoke to one player on 3 seperate occasions before issuing the card when the parents pipped up saying what's that for I shouted dissent on 3 seperate occasions then I was told by his parent "it's not all about you ref"

My response was to get my cards and whistle and gestured to the parent if you want to do a better job be my guest

Surprisingly he let me continue

I've thought about doing this on more than one occasion but what if Mr Smartypants took you up on the offer? Things would get awkward then. You either let him take control and you're humiliated or you say you can't anyway and you are humiliated. Neither option is great.

I've said in the past, when questioned post-match, we're desperately short of officials and would love some more people to step up and help us. That usually quiets them down.

 

[Kes]

Don't ever get personally involved in chat or any sort of exchange with a spectator at grass roots level. It's one you can't/won't win.

Simply approach the home team coach and communicate your dissatisfaction to them.

 

[ChasObserverRefDeveloper]

Had this yesterday spoke to one player on 3 seperate occasions before issuing the card when the parents pipped up saying what's that for I shouted dissent on 3 seperate occasions then I was told by his parent "it's not all about you ref"

My response was to get my cards and whistle and gestured to the parent if you want to do a better job be my guest

Surprisingly he let me continue

If your area has Respect stewards in place, ask the home team coach to get them to deal with the parents in question; if not, ask the home team coach to get it sorted.
Don't get involved directly with spectators.

 

[alexv]

When I played, I only ever saw about 5 cards (from U7-U18). Since refereeing, I’ve realised that there should’ve been more.

I find U15s games can go very wrong when you purposely avoid trying to use cards. I see it as if you don’t issue cards, you end up inviting ‘revenge fouls’ because they don’t think they’ll be punished.

I once had a fiery U13s game with about 3/4 cautions (one was a strong yellow). I had one manager and a parent criticise my use of cards. However, I also had a parent (whose kid was actually booked…) and two league officials approach me at full time to tell me they thought I was spot on by using them.

You’re 100% better off using cards and getting grief for it, than not using your cards and being blamed when a game gets out of hand, leading to a bad injury.

 

[Joshref]

When I first saw the title I was expecting it to be about younger age groups I.e. U11-U13. In which case my advice is that you can utilise talking more. That’s not to say to ignore carding offences, but communication can play a part at that age group.

U15 though? No sympathy. If it’s a card don’t hesitate. Correct decisions. U15s is quite hard because it’s the last age group parents care at. Once they fail to reach an academy here parents realise their kid isn’t going to make it and parents become less of a problem older. For now they’re still clinging onto that dream, so they will be a nightmare.

When I played, I only ever saw about 5 cards (from U7-U18). Since refereeing, I’ve realised that there should’ve been more.

When I look back at my junior days (U8-U18) I struggle to think how I saw so few cards. I saw max 10 in total. Very few shown as cards and very few submitted. I almost had my leg broken on about 10 different occasions. Kudos to you on the U13 game, I remember one U13 game where it got past the point of communication but the ref still wouldn’t show cards and it just became a battlefield. Ref could’ve made a fortune for county FA that day but kept cards in pocket.

My response was to get my cards and whistle
and gestured to the parent if you want to do a better job be my guest

Surprisingly he let me continue

I’ve seen a lot of refs do this over the years but it’s not advice I’d give to new refs. As a spectator, I’ve seen someone’s bluff be called twice. The first time an experienced ref did it, parent accepted, ref said “well I’ve already been paid” handed whistle to parents and ****ed off (can only guess it wasn’t his whistle.) Parent was predictably ****, and the only losers were the kids.

Second time round a young ref did it and parent accepted. This time young ref froze, as if he hadn’t prepared for that answer. He awkwardly mumbled out a no and carried on but his confidence was clearly shot and his match control had gone