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Andy A

Active Member
Hi guys, 3 games into my reffing journey and I'm still finding it difficult to cope at the moment.

Made life a lot harder for myself this morning by not walking a player. Here's the incident, I give a penalty against a player who then says "f**k off ref" I went for the selective hearing approach and ignored him - I should have walked him right?

However here's where it's get even worse, having ignored that he then proceeds to say "Ref you're a cheat" - this is also a straight red offence right?

However I just gave him a yellow. Why, why, why!?

For the rest of the game he was in my ear, "ref is that not a pen", "was that not handball" around 5 times he said stuff like that - Having gone with my original decision to book him should I have gave him a second yellow for this? I just kept saying "No it's not because I haven't blown my whistle this time"

I need to be stronger, there is no doubt about that!!!
 
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He'd have walked any day of the week. By not walking him, youve probably set yourself up for a much tougher game. By your description, that's what's happened. Have courage in your convictions and be strong. By not walking him, he now thinks that he can get away with offinabus. That will make things harder for next weeks referee.

You knew what you needed to do but you didn't do it. You need to be stronger. That starts with your next game :)
 
Thanks DB, just the kind of reply I was looking for.

And yes I agree, I have made next week's ref's job a lot harder. :(
 
You're only a few games into your reffing career so you can be excused. If you don't discipline the players when they need it, they'll walk all over you. That will come as you become confident. That would have been an easy first red card, they get easier after that.
 
Andy A said:
Hi guys, 3 games into my reffing journey and I'm still finding it difficult to cope at the moment.

Made life a lot harder for myself this morning by not walking a player. Here's the incident, I give a penalty against a player who then says "f**k off ref" I went for the selective hearing approach and ignored him - I should have walked him right?

However here's where it's get even worse, having ignored that he then proceeds to say "Ref you're a cheat" - this is also a straight red offence right?

However I just gave him a yellow. Why, why, why!?

For the rest of the game he was in my ear, "ref is that not a pen", "was that not handball" around 5 times he said stuff like that - Having gone with my original decision to book him should I have gave him a second yellow for this? I just kept saying "No it's not because I haven't blown my whistle this time"

I need to be stronger, there is no doubt about that!!!
Click to expand...
Ignoring dissent and offinabus is not uncommon in new referees. While your mishandling of the player is not good there are some positives in your post. You are reflecting on what you have done wrong and willing to learn from it. All you need to do now is put it into practice next time it happens.
 
Take this as a positive @Andy A .

As a new ref you are still calibrating your barometer in terms of straight reds and dissent bullsh*t.

You only find your limits after game time, experience and asking yourself the 'was I right', exactly how you have here.

In a situation with somebody constantly nagging and dissenting get your yellow out as soon in the game as you can. It'll show the other players you won't take it, it may shut him up for the remainder of the game allowing you to concentrate the game, or you can get rid of him if he persists.

The longer you leave it for the first, the longer the 3 things above will go on and increase in severity.

That said the first comment was a red, but it sounds like you've worked that out now.

Keep learning from these situations mate and you'll be fine, we've all been there but it's whether you learn from it that's important!
 
Thanks for the help guys, really appreciate it. I've learned from this as you say.

However I have just found out I have this same team again in a few weeks.

What is my course of action if he starts with the "Are you sure that's not a penalty" rubbish again?

Yellow for dissent?
 
Andy, you know what you have to do. Stamp it out early. If he starts, caution early to set the tone and send out a message to the rest of the players.

You will get comments regarding your performance this week, stamp them out early aswell "oh you let that go last week ref, you only booked him for that last week ref". Yes, that was last week. I've learnt and gained experience since then.

I'm big on dissent. I will not tolerate it at all. Regardless of how small it is, as soon as it starts I stamp on it. If they chose to ignore my warnings, they will learn a harsh lesson.

I played today; I came off after 80 minutes as I am still recovering from a ruptured disc. I was sat in a dugout and a member of the opposite side conceded a foul. "Of **** off man" he said as he kicked the ball away. Straight away, I'm thinking, caution. Ref didn't even say a thing. After that, he gobbed off a bit more "how the **** can you give that, are you ****ing blind?". He then got a yellow. For me, regardless of the temperature/tempo/nature of the game, that player would have walked. But the referee weren't in the mood to send the player off. As the manager of the side, I marked him down for that and a few other things. When I signed the opposing teams sheet, they marked him 100... that figured.
 
Andy A said:
Thanks for the help guys, really appreciate it. I've learned from this as you say.

However I have just found out I have this same team again in a few weeks.

What is my course of action if he starts with the "Are you sure that's not a penalty" rubbish again?

Yellow for dissent?
Click to expand...

Before I say how I would handle it, one thing I would say is don't think too much about it once you kick off the next game with that team. It will be a massive distraction, make you more prone to mistakes and your focus will not be on the job in hand. That said if he starts...

If it's just a quiet whinge at you with no language and for not said for the benefit of others, answer him back - 'don't start that rubbish pal. Just get on with it'

If it's a bit more or a bit louder stop the game, bring in the captain if you want to, public bollocking. I'd say something like "you seem to be under the impression I want to hear your thoughts or opinion on my decisions. Let me just make a couple of things clear: yes you are entitled to an opinion, but I am not in the slightest bit interested. Secondly, at no point have I told you how to kick the ball, so I don't expect to hear you tell me how to referee the game. No keep it quiet and let's get on with it'.

Obviously if you have called the captain in you say all this in the presence of the player and talk about the player in the third person.

Finally, if the nature of the comment is to embarrass you, for the benefit of others or to undermine you in any way, (but not OFFINABUS) it's time for the yellow. I always give the warning they are not immune from a second caution for the same thing if they persist. "Ok please listen carefully. You seem to have the impression that I want to hear you opinion or thoughts on every passage of play or decision. I don't. Take this caution as a warning that you have said enough, and know should you repeat this behaviour I may have no option but to send you off."

Take your time with the caution. There really is no rush. Use calming hand gestures so everybody else can get the gist.

Make sure you follow through with the second caution and cherry if he persists.
 
Andy A said:
Thanks for the help guys, really appreciate it. I've learned from this as you say.

However I have just found out I have this same team again in a few weeks.

What is my course of action if he starts with the "Are you sure that's not a penalty" rubbish again?

Yellow for dissent?
Click to expand...
Something I'm only just beginning to do properly (3 years into refereeing) is to try and never turn a deaf ear to anything remotely dissenting. I have enough confidence in my decisions at this point that if a player is simply asking for FK's, throws etc, I'll answer him politely the first few times and then gradually tune him out. But anything more than just asking the questions and you have to make it clear that you've heard them and you're not happy about it.

You've got a lot of options if you acknowledge what the players are saying, everything from a joke back at them to pulling out cards. Any of those options (applied properly) will usually calm down the player in question and will make it clear to everyone else what you expect from them. Ignoring them completely will only encourage the behaviour - and it's one of the hardest things to do as a new referee, but you'll soon realise that 30 seconds of tension early on with a booking/bollocking will make your life far easier for the following 90. Do yourself a favour and make things clear early on.
 
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