A&H

A selection of comments

cZulu

New Member
Level 7 Referee
A selection of comments received during a match yesterday:

“Whatever you’re getting paid for this match it’s too much”

“You’ve lost this game, ref”

“Poor performance ref, your observer won’t be happy. No more games for you this season”

“Will you get one right soon, ref?”

“You’re making this about you, ref”

I’d be interested how you would both externally and internally ‘deal’ with any or all of these.

I take the fact that these were spread evenly across both teams that I was probably doing a fair job at least.

Thanks
 
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A selection of comments received during a match yesterday:

“Whatever you’re getting paid for this match it’s too much”

“You’ve lost this game, ref”

“Poor performance ref, your observer won’t be happy. No more games for you this season”

“Will you get one right soon, ref?”

“You’re making this about you, ref”

I’d be interested how you would both externally and internally ‘deal’ with any or all of these.

I take the fact that these were spread evenly across both teams that I was probably doing a fair job at least.

Thanks

My responses would be:
1. Treat as a joke, "I love your team so much I would do this for free!"
2. Quiet warning, unless he said loudly, then public admonishment for all to hear
3. Again treat as a joke - "Good, I won't have to deal with your crap performance either" or "No matter how bad you thing I am I will be back next week".
4. Quiet warning, unless he said loudly, then public admonishment for all to hear
5. That is probably the closest to dissent out of them all - so straight to public admonishment and include the Capt (to make the player look like a chump!)
 
This is all low level dissent. In isolation it's not significant enough to warrant a card, but it can build up over the game into something bigger and cause problems.

I always think that these types of situation are one of, if not the hardest for less experienced referees to handle and we've all been there at some point!

There are two ends of scale in how you can deal with it. At one end is the smart comeback "actually I'm not getting paid enough to have to deal with you lot" said with a smile is an example response to one of the comments you got. You have to be careful with this as sometimes it will diffuse the situation, other times it will inflame it, so you have to be able to read the tone of the game accordingly.

The other end of the scale and perhaps the easiest way to handle it is to get the player in and give them a talking to. "I don't appreciate your comments, you need to keep them to yourself" that way you are setting him and others up for a sin bin if they carry on.

You need to remember, you are in control and you have the tools in your armoury to handle them, whether a word or your cards. If you sin bin a player, most others will quickly catch on and keep their mouth shut so as not to suffer the same fate.
 
As said above, classic low level dissent.
You have to earn players’ ”respect” to stop. While that might come from a brilliant advantage it’s more likely to come from clear warnings and cards.

So, when to act?
With this language, after 3,4,5 different players, give a strong warning at the next stoppage.

”You’ve lost this game” ”you’re making this about you”... I really don’t like these. They are not straight yellows but these are triggers for me. The first is basically saying “I might do something stupid” and the second is challenging your integrity.

For these, at the next stoppage, the player needs to be strongly warned, make the yap-yap hand gesture, cut the grass, leave the player (and the rest of the players, fans etc) in no doubt you’ve had enough.
 
Earning respect is one way to stop them . It doesn't always work though. One thing for sure is you can not 'lose out' on any comment that is heard by others. You must win that little battle. Be it with words or actions. It has direct impact on your control of the game.

I like the suggestions above. A witty response means they have not got under your skin which was their aim. You are giving as good as you get. Battle won. If you have to use cards do so. But no emotions. You must make sure they don't see any sign of you getting frustrated for the slightest. They feed of it.

Internally, keep calm. Don't expect too much of yourself. You do make mistakes (we all do). Accept that but only reflect on those after the game. Our mistakes are nowhere near as much as players make it out to be. Have I said said keep calm yet? Take nothing personal and never get personal (well maybe only when it is very clear it's a joke).
 
A phrase I have found useful is: “you’ve hit my tolerance level”

if these comments are not coming from a single player, I’d be bringing both captains in and telling them ”enough‘s enough. My tolerance level has now been reached, and we need to put a stop to these comments. If they carry on, someone’s going in the bin for a 10 minute break.” I wouldn’t be telling this quietly to the captains, I’d want those around to hear.

Then, no surprise when the next comment comes and the player gets a YC sin bin and ten minutes off the pitch.

internally, I’d be telling myself I’m doing the best job I can. I’ve found as Ive become more experienced such comments wound me less because I know I’m getting pretty much most of my decisions right (although I do acknowledge to myself that I have made mistakes, and try and learn from them.) Developing that condidence in my ability has been hard won, but makes a huge difference.
 
Players only say those things to try and influence you. They are playing a game to try and get into your head.

Lots of good advice above but I would be very careful with some of the witty responses back to players as everyone reacts differently. It works for some but not others.

I like the comment “you have reached my tolerance level now” and cut the grass. The next comment I would sin bin you might get one more but I guarantee the players will realise they have over stepped the mark and shut up when they are down to 9.

Personally I feel that with the threat of sitting out for 10 mins usually has the desired impact. Just make sure you don’t use the threat and then don’t follow through.
 
This is almost my least favourite type of game - where no comment really merits a sinbin on its own but the cumulative effect is extremely annoying. It's one of the reasons I stopped doing youth football - I found this happened much more often there than with adults.

It would bother me a lot less now than it did when I first started refereeing because I have hundreds of good games under my belt, and I know most players are happy to see me at their games. Also, I've been on the line where really excellent referees doing a perfectly good job have suffered similar dissent. So that's something to bear in mind if you're new to it.

Refjef's advice is pretty good I think.
 
Smiling at them is a useful approach, if they can see it isn't bothering you they stop wasting their effort. That only works for the little sly digs though, when it oversteps the mark start to use public warnings, call the captains in, and then caution and sin bin if you need to.
 
Usually it involves something along the lines of "You haven't created anything all game and you still think I've lost this game? Come off it."
 
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