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How best to handle a niggly match?

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I had my first competitive game of the season last Saturday but came away frustrated with the match and my performance. It was a niggly match with lots of little things going on and I felt I lost control towards the end. There were lots of little comments, silly challenges and players mocking each other more often than not behind my back. Based on feedback and the fixtures I get allocated I feel I'm a decent referee but I know that I struggle with this kind of game. On Saturday I dished out 8 yellows and cautioned a team official. Looking back I think a couple of yellows were a little petty and ultimately a poor attempt at match control. On the other hand I could well have doubled that card count. How do you deal with this type of match without it turning into farce.
 
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I had my first competitive game of the season last Saturday but came away frustrated with the match and my performance. It was a niggly match with lots of little things going on and I felt I lost control towards the end. There were lots of little comments, silly challenges and players mocking each other more often than not behind my back. Based on feedback and the fixtures I get allocated I feel I'm a decent referee but I know that I struggle with this kind of game. On Saturday I dished out 8 yellows and cautioned a team official. Looking back I think a couple of yellows were a little petty and ultimately a poor attempt at match control. On the other hand I could well have doubled that card count. How do you deal with this type of match without it turning into farce.
The trick is to pick your battles and time the cautions right, this can be luck as. Much as anything. And don't become. Reactive. By that I mean don't start carding things you have let go previously in a bid to regain match control, it won't help.
These games come along every so often and it feels like no matter what you do its against you. Sometimes there is nothing that can be done but get through the 90 minutes and move on to the next one.
 
Yeah, what he said. If there ever was any sort of game that you wish you had a time machine this would be it. Ever seed the move butterfly effect? You would need lots of attempts to eventually get it right. Timing of the yellows are the most critical aspect but there are lots of other things, what to ignore and what not to, on the run talk, public warnings, finding the trouble makers and those who can help you early. A lot of things you can do but they could just as well backfire if you don't do them or time them right.
 
A good bit of advice I had going into adult football was to not many soft free kicks. I was used to youth football, where smaller nudges in the back and trips were expected to be fouls. I found that in my first couple of adult games, I was giving too many soft free kicks, which led to the game becoming really niggly and players getting a little frustrated. I then felt like I had to give all of them to be consistent. I found that once I stopped giving free kicks for these, the games flowed easier and players knew my tolerance. They stopped appealing every bit of slight (legal) contact and I got less disagreements from players, which massively helps match control.

Of course, this isn’t appropriate for every game, and when games are clearly going to be physical or starting to get out of control, it’s key to use ‘soft free kicks’ to your advantage to take the sting out of them. Like others have said, picking your cards is definitely helpful and comes with experience
 
.These games come along every so often and it feels like no matter what you do its against you. Sometimes there is nothing that can be done but get through the 90 minutes and move on to the next one.
I was pretty low yesterday but today I've put it down as one of those games and I'm looking forward to next week. I felt I tried to do the right things but with little effect. For the last 15 minutes I was just wanting the time to run down without any major incident. Onwards and upwards though
 
You'll probably find that the players in that match have already forgotten about it. It's tough ignoring the niggle and the petty things that go on we are human after all and I know I have let things get to me to the point that I've thought next one that does this or that is going to the sinbin or is being booked. It's hard to keep your emotions controlled in these matches. So don't let it bother you as we've all been there and will be there in the future.

I do tend to stop the game in these sort of matches and bring both captains together and tell them it has to stop. The vast majority of times the captains are appreciative of the chat and attempt to stop things. It certainly helps me as an official when the next thing then happens. I see this being done in rugby a lot but not so much in football.
 
If both teams have stopped playing fair and it feels like it could go crazy - couple of these with relegated teams at the end of this season - then I slow it right down.

The next card: slow, the next talking to: slow, the next ceremonial free kick: you guessed it, it’s gonna be slow.

If there’s no ball and no running around, they stop kicking and shouting at each other!
 
You'll probably find that the players in that match have already forgotten about it. It's tough ignoring the niggle and the petty things that go on we are human after all and I know I have let things get to me to the point that I've thought next one that does this or that is going to the sinbin or is being booked. It's hard to keep your emotions controlled in these matches. So don't let it bother you as we've all been there and will be there in the future.

I do tend to stop the game in these sort of matches and bring both captains together and tell them it has to stop. The vast majority of times the captains are appreciative of the chat and attempt to stop things. It certainly helps me as an official when the next thing then happens. I see this being done in rugby a lot but not so much in football.

Your first sentence is spot on. At the end of the day they are all trying to win a football match. For that 90 minutes there's nothing else in the world apart from trying to win that match. I can hardly remember any referees faces from my 25 years of playing football from u8s to veteran plodder. I can probably remember about five of their Christian names, not a singe surname. Its not personal, they just want to win. Sometimes they go over the top with their criticism of you but when they've calmed down they feel bad for doing it anyway.

You'll get the occasional halfwit who genuinely believe they're right to berate you or whinge constantly but thats just their nature. If its any consolation they are the same towards their team mates, coaches, opposition, league officials, fans and everyone else. Just the way they are and nothing to worry about. Everyone else thinks they're a bit of a numpty too!

Reffing is about moving on. Whether its from a shocker to hopefully a better game next time to being 100% in one match and not getting complacent for the next. Our Sheffield friend has this spot on. Next!!!
 
I had my first competitive game of the season last Saturday but came away frustrated with the match and my performance. It was a niggly match with lots of little things going on and I felt I lost control towards the end. There were lots of little comments, silly challenges and players mocking each other more often than not behind my back. Based on feedback and the fixtures I get allocated I feel I'm a decent referee but I know that I struggle with this kind of game. On Saturday I dished out 8 yellows and cautioned a team official. Looking back I think a couple of yellows were a little petty and ultimately a poor attempt at match control. On the other hand I could well have doubled that card count. How do you deal with this type of match without it turning into farce.
Was the nonsense fuelled by a minority of players? Or was there too much wood to see the trees?
 
Was the nonsense fuelled by a minority of players? Or was there too much wood to see the trees?
Pretty much the second option. If it were a minority if players I think that would have been easier to manage. I've thought about the game quite a bit and in my mind I have some ideas how I could manage this better in future. Thanks to all for your input.
 
I'd put last week behind me and was all set for a good looking fixture this week. Got a call just as I was getting ready to say the match had been called off due to high wind - 40mph forecast to rise to > 50mph during the match on an exposed 3G pitch (and raining). Although I'd have liked a game after last week I wasn't too sorry it was off given the conditions.
 
After last weeks call off I did get a game this weekend and although another niggle match I was much happier with my performance. The niggle was evident from kick off but I started strongly and issued a couple of early cautions which were technically correct but which I might have let go in the past. One player was very, very close to a second caution and was replaced at half time which I took as a slight compliment in that his manager could tell I would deal with it if it happened. I still ran up 9 cautions which is high for me and although room for improvement I never had the feeling that I was losing control. Onwards and upwards.
 
If both teams have stopped playing fair and it feels like it could go crazy - couple of these with relegated teams at the end of this season - then I slow it right down.

The next card: slow, the next talking to: slow, the next ceremonial free kick: you guessed it, it’s gonna be slow.

If there’s no ball and no running around, they stop kicking and shouting at each other!
Santa is correct. Slow the game down. If its niggly then the chances of it changing are minimal. Petty free-kicks, minimal advantage. You'll get moaned at but you'll have control of the game.
Same when a team is 5 nil up with 10 mins left. They know they've won the opponents know they've lost and often the game gets niggly then. Ssssssslllllllllllooooooowwwwwww the game down............. I wouldn't warn captains as the chances are they down convey your instructions to the players. If you warn then you have to act everytime - else you're on a loser.
Its the same of trying to explain to someone who's "lost it". You could agree with them that youre the "worse referee in the League" but, if they've lost it, they're not listening - so dont bother explaining. Use your cards. Same at the end of the game. I use "We'll have a chat later" but rarely do it..... plus it gives them a chance to calm down.
I friend of mine was Assistant on a fairly high level game with a young inexperienced referee who kept playing advantage even when the game got physical at the end. It ended up with several reds and the ref being chased off the field!
 
The good thing about warning captains is that everyone can see you doing it. Yes captains rarey pass the message on but the next incident when you take action is usually met with, well he did warn us.
 
Sometimes there is nothing that can be done but get through the 90 minutes and move on to the next one.

This is pretty much the only answer to this question. Sometimes, the players just don't want to play football and there's not much you can do to make them. You get through it, do your best, and move on quickly. Not every match is a learning opportunity--some are just a game of survival.
 
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