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I've been thinking about this. Velcro patches are an excellent addition, especially as I seem to be involved in so many bloody competitions now. This is what I have in my own kitbag, just in case you get any ideas: Warm up top (I have one from the US from a store called Athlete - it's just...

Looked in my mailbox on Friday and saw that I had something from the FA. I opened it up and was rather shocked to find that I had been appointed as an assistant referee on the Fourth round proper of the Ladies FA Cup. I think, even if I miss out on promotion to L4 this season, it actually...

Congratulations to you! Just remember, although referees will tell you otherwise, it isn't just another game. This is the culmination of a successful season for both of the teams and for your own team. Keep the sense of occasion, do what you need to do and, above all, enjoy it! You've earned it.

If you don't do it, you'll regret it.

Indeed. Love bobbing around in a grey war canoe of death for no reason!

A really good tip is to learn to speak in a firm manner. Richard Burton was quite famous for his diction, which was created by a family friend forcing him to communicate over 50 yards or so, but without shouting. I believe he did it in his native Wales?

Have been up in the 3CR region, I sympathise. Don't quite know what it is about the pitches being so susceptible to the weather.

Serious question, has anyone been stung by import taxes at all? I ask, because everything I seem to order goes through Mount Pleasant and I then have some angry phone calls with Parcel Force/Royal Mail in an effort to get their backsides moving. Cut a long story short: HMRC are incredibly...

I spend my time shaking my head at the ineptitude of Aston Villa - they're more shocking than anything that any referee can do. And yes, I include the infamous "flamboyant" referee in that.

I have to point out that I'm in the RN and to me, Rum is like drinking water every day. Plus it's traditional and all that.

Actually Haywain, a Bournemouth fan, who happens to also be a ref, in "Ref's had a shocker" moan. Have to side with drahc here, that's a little bit disrepectful to do that as fellow officials. The next post did clarify things though. We all get bad days at the offices, to be fair.

Navy FA doesn't get a discount... I'm an associate member of the Army FA, so I'll abuse that privilege. Still 3.5 match fees though...

It depends on the game. For the armed forces, I can get away with asking for service number (You would be amazed at how many John Smith's there are!) before dismissing, because I already have their names on the teamsheet. Bit unpersonal, but players know that I can confirm whether they've...

Pretty much. The Fleet wants the beach for their Royal Marines to go and play on :)

I'll certainly try and enjoy it here!

I don't normally post an introduction, partially because it feels like soliciting and then needing a cuddle afterwards. Anyway, dry sense of humour and one of a special, chosen elite. RN Referees are rarer than a FIFA referee in England! And yeah, I can speak a little bit of Greek.