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All the knock off Valkeens I’ve used from Temu, Amazon et al have sounded great. Each Xmas I’ll treat myself to 2/3 depending what postage deals are on, £25 or so. Searching for “volleyball whistle” often gets you what you’re after.

*AHEM* C1 (BE) You’re welcome. 😂

Apply Law. Life becomes easier.

None of these "YouTube" ref-baiting teams are a) any good, b) worth anyone's time. Feral hyenas performing for camera and clicks, and having watched a handful on instagram/reels (etc), looks like my idea of complete hell. I'm not mad enough to consider grassroots Sunday football, but these...

When you feel like you've had a stinker, take a look at two sections on this forum. Firstly, the TV one and see Man City fans losing their rag about literally anything from yesterday to a decade ago. If they can't get it right at PGMOL, what hope have us mere mortals got? Secondly, see what's...

Yeah, he pulled the fella’s hair. 😉

Don’t also forget that players are quite thick. Defender learned the hard way yesterday that distance from penalty arc to spot was 9.15m when he talked himself into a caution. If I had temp spray I’m not sure I could have resisted using it like mace. 😂

*taps the C1 (BE) sign* 😂 FTR then DTR, perfect. Play silly ga-what Bester said.

Clattenburg is often quite interesting on the (Daily Mail) Whistleblowers podcast.

Checking the name matches who's getting pulled-off

If any of you have spare cash, you can find my username “Phwoarth Official”

Substack's just a hosting platform that you can monetise with subscriptions, etc. OnlyFans for blogs, in essence. Probably the same amount of tits.

Meant to be my RA’s next guest speaker. Might actually have to go for a change 😂

Never read here before bed 😂 *shudder*

Love it when a player gives you the clues. Had it midweek on the U19 academy stuff. Speculative shot on goal, bends in the wind, AR's body language suggested goal kick... no real indication from players setting-up... I'm close enough and say "great save there, keeps" "ah cheers ref" *points...

Had this happen in my most recent observation (SPA trip). Fouled player was faffing around with his shin pads and taping his socks, then took a drink, then was re-strapping his wrist (an appropriate injury for the player in question ✊🍆) and we're all ready to restart. Tough kitties big lad, you...

Don't forget every CFA has Rule 215.B(iv) which states that they, and I paraphrase slightly, can: Make up any old b*llocks and find another rule to justify it.

21st Jan yesterday. Takes him to the end of the calendar year.

Probably saw who was in the crowd.

The ball out of play at a corner thing is truly mad. Absolutely the result of one braindead dinkus seeing it bend out of play in a game he was at and his team "scored" with the lino's flag up. Player being subbed having a 10 second clock to leave the pitch: equally bonkers. STOP MAKING ME...