How About A Nice (Refereeing) Limerick?

[Kes]

As a ref, I was forced to explain,
"It's not me, it's the Laws Of The Game"
"So please shut your gob,
get on with YOUR job,
And kindly let me do the same".

Just a bit of light-hearted fun you understand.

Anybody else feel up to throwing something together?

I know you're out there ....

 

[Kes]

No budding Wordsworths, Blakes or Kiplings out there then?

Oh come on!!

 

[cdsman]

Sorry - not up to your standard... but a start...

I'm the ref and it’s red verses blue,
With a whistle and cards, I have two,
I run and I blow,
And the cards I do show,
So the county can have their big do.

 

[one]

I may be blind but I'm not deaf
No 'C' words, no 'B' words and no 'F'.
I'm no cadet.
And don't you forget,
You are a player and I am the ref.

 

[Sheffields Finest]

I met a strange fellow from Leeds.
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
Great tufts of fine grass.
Sprouted out of his ass.
But his b0llocks were blighted with weeds!!!

I'm here all week!!

 

[soccerwatch18]

They shout "Hey Ref that's a free!"
As they gesture quite menacingly
"It was never a foul"
Comes the opponent's howl
"Play on!" and I'm thinking "F*ck me!"

 

[Sheffields Finest]

There was a young fellow from Cosham
Who took out his whistles to wash 'em
His wife said, "Jack,
If you don't put 'em back
I'll tread on the buggers and squash 'em'

(I've seriously cleaned that one up!!!)

 

[Ciley Myrus]

I wear my specs, and am awful chubby
my strip is not tucked in and I look so grubby
hack another player if you want,
call them a p*** and call them a c***
But call me a cheat and yer aff.

 

[JamesL]

There once was an experienced official
Who loved to blow on his whistle
His cap he does doth
When he's sending you off
Hes last weeks ref, so wont report the dismissal.

 

[Ciley Myrus]

"2 Teams on the park ref", the players do shout
Lino raises his flag though the ball it aint out
Offsides' just a guess
Advantage a mess
But my expensive watch for the time.........................works fine

 

[Sheffields Finest]

There was a ref from Nantucket.......

 

[RefJef]

There was a ref from Nantucket.......

Who sent a lad off for saying ....
It’s black I do wear,
So please don’t swear,
Now go and put a fiver in the charity bucket.

 

[Kes]

One or two wordsmiths out there clearly.

And one or two .... well .... not wordsmiths.

Here's another to be going on with:

A female official named Nellie,
Found the teams that she refereed smelly.
She decided one day
To just simply stop play
And go home and watch Friends on the telly.

Keep em coming guys. If you're able.

 

[Kes]

Follically Challenged.

As the player's boot bounced off my head,
I immediately brandished the red.
He cried "Ref, it ain't fair,
That you've got no hair,
And I volleyed your bonce instead!!"

 

[Ciley Myrus]

Turned up for my game like I said I would
My kit and the teams were the same, I swear dude
So I tried to ad lib,
And I looked for bib,
then thought feck it I'll just referee nude.

 

[Sheffields Finest]

There was an old gal from Kiev
Who thought she was sleeping with Kes
But it was not The Almighty
With his hand up her nightie
It was Vladimir the lodger, the sod!

 

[Kes]

Erm ... I don't think Yorkshire and Scotland have quite got the hang of this ...

 

[Sheffields Finest]

Falkirk's Finest Supporter (FFS) has 100% got this....He thought that Refereeing Limerick was Eire Away!!!

 

[Kes]

A frustrated young Linesman from Hull,
Found his match so exceedingly dull,
That he ate both his flags,
Smoked two packs of fags
And scoffed Twixes and Mars Bars til full.

I'm on a roll people ....

 

[Kes]

I think this thread has somewhat died.
It weren't my fault - I only tried
To see what verse might come to light
And some was good but some was sheeite.

Ciley tried his very best
To throw his oar in with the rest
JamesL and others showed the way
But as for "Yorkshire" ....
...Let's not say.!

I hope to try again some time
And coax you into typing rhyme
If in the meantime, write you must
Then on this thread, your verses thrust.

Good day fellow professionals.