The Ref Stop

It's not just me is it?

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B

Bantam Ron

New Member
Level 7 Referee
I've done a handful of 'paid' games now at U14 to U18. I've yet to make an obvious clanger that has cost a team the game. I think it has gone OK but during and after every match some of the kids (usually on the losing side) have said in earshot:

He's the worst ref I've ever seen
He can't be a real referee
Where did they get that idiot from who was reffing
etc etc

Is this just normal, am I truely rubbish or as I haven't had any real abuse, is it actually a compliment!?!?
 
The Ref Stop
It's a multiple choice response:
a) You truly are rubbish
b) You truly are an idiot
c) You truly are a normal referee
d) You truly get this kind of stuff all the time.

Take your choice. Chances are your first two choices on any given day won't be quite right. :)
 
Yup. Players will never criticise a ref unless he's truly had a shocker. Never.

Correction
*players tend to be dense investment bankers so don't worry about it!
 
if anyone called me an idiot within earshot and they were still on the pitch......misconduct report every time, regardless of whether they're right or not ;)

i once had the 'you're not an f.a. ref' from a 12 year old.....before the match had even started!!
 
lol clever teams will say you are the best referee they have had all season...

Ignore all of it or just start cautioning them like you're on commission.

Either way, don't lose any sleep :cool:
 
My answer would probably be ........Yellow , Yellow ........................... .......and..............................Yellow ......etc
 
Kids pick up such sayings from their parents who dream little Johnny will be picked up by some big club and earn them millions of ££££s when really they're just a kid trying to have a laugh playing football with his mates.
 
SM said:
lol clever teams will say you are the best referee they have had all season...
Click to expand...

Boom. Exactly. I remember all the polite teams, whether they win or lose, they'll always respect you (and ive had some clangers!)

Usually have good managers too, 9 times out of 10, the manager will say "You wont get a squeek of grief out of my boys - and if you do - tell me".

Which is always good to see.

What I learned quickly from my mistakes was - "Confidence is King".

If I blow for it and something happens that perhaps changes my mind (whatever it is), im still the most confident person on the field of play.

Any comments? "Nah, dont be silly", "foul/offside all day long".

Confidence
 
I will also add that the most grief I get... Is from the Youth Leagues.

They are the worst, I think they feel they are untouchable, but like someone said above - its a misconduct report everytime.

"Mate, you dont deserve to referee womens football!" (for their team losing the game a billion to nil)
"You know what ref... you're just gutless" (for not giving a caution)
"You've had a shocker today ref" (for their team losing the game a billion to nil)
 
Youth leagues are terrible for it a lot of the time. Kids parroting what their idiot parents and managers are saying. Players happy to mouth off like a coal miner then if you whip out a card EVERYONE is shocked, they're only kids, how could you book them. With open age no one comes to watch so it's you against 22 people rather than 22 kids and their parents. Also I find adults tend to accept your decisions more willingly. They'll understand when they've messed up and can accept it, obviously not all the time. If little Jimmy's dad is shouting about how rubbish you are then little Jimmy will just follow that and never give you respect.

I do enjoy youth football though!

Back to the original post, one thing I always tend to think, especially for the losing team, is I'm the easy target to blame. If I wasn't the worst ref in the world then they'd have to turn round and admit their own failings and human nature means people, especially kids rarely do this. I've never over heard anyone saying "that ref was awesome today, but I played a shocker." When people point the finger of blame they are in fact pointing three bqck at themselves.
 
Earlier in the season I had a team lose badly and their manager came on and the end to tell me what a bad game I had. Then in the way cowards do, tried to walk away quickly.

Out of character for me I called him back, loomed over him (I was a good foot taller than the little fat fella) and proceeded to tell him how little I thought of his teams behaviour/ability/sportsmanship and how little I thought of him as a manager/human being for his lack of sportsmanship and behaviour during the game.

He looked dumb struck and slunk away.

Not sure what got into me that day. One too many comments from the little worm of a man.

Not that I would recommend this kind of behaviour mind. :)
 
How do you more experienced referees deal with criticism / abuse (not swearing as I would pull them up straight away for that right ?) from the sidelines ?. Do you just try and ignore them as confrontation usually makes it worse in some circumstances . I suspect you speak with the coach/ manager and ask them to have a quiet word or you will speak to the culprit yourself and deal with them accordingly ?. I find that in boys football there is plenty of parents/spectators who all have an opinion but just wondered how best to deal with them. I had a parent berate me for the way I spoke to his son a few weeks ago and looking back I feel I could of handled it better.
 
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Rob said:
How do you more experienced referees deal with criticism / abuse (not swearing as I would pull them up straight away for that right ?) from the sidelines ?. Do you just try and ignore them as confrontation usually makes it worse in some circumstances . I suspect you speak with the coach/ manager and ask them to have a quiet word or you will speak to the culprit yourself and deal with them accordingly ?. I find that in boys football there is plenty of parents/spectators who all have an opinion but just wondered how best to deal with them. I had a parent berate me for the way I spoke to his son a few weeks ago and looking back I feel I could of handled it better.
Click to expand...

Not saying I'm an experienced ref, Rob, although being in my second season I'm starting to notice a pattern in the shouts of coaches/spectators etc. whether it be what they say or when they say it. I tend to ignore everything anyone from the side shouts (calling for a substitution aside) which riled one set of club officials so much recently they confronted me at half time to ask why I wasn't paying any attention to them. They didn't agree with me when I said if I stopped the game to address every single issue anyone had we wouldn't get the game done (perhaps they were just annoyed that they couldn't intimidate me despite being about twenty/twenty five years older than me :confused:). It works for me in that eventually they grow tired of not getting any attention from myself but if anyone deals with this sort of stuff differently I'd love to hear about it seeing as I'm still fairly new to the profession! :)
 
haywain said:
i once had the 'you're not an f.a. ref' from a 12 year old.....before the match had even started!!
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Bloody hell! I once had "don't come back to 'insert place here' ref" from a 10 year old. The kids get worse and worse!!
 
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