A&H

OFINABUS?

kierang

New Member
Level 6 Referee
Player's exact words after I awarded a throw to the other team (following a couple of other decisions he took exception to):

"What's the matter ref, did you not shag the missus last night or something ?"

Delivered in quite an aggressive way, not just a bit of friendly "banter".

Offensive ?
Insulting ?
Abusive ?

What would you have done?
 
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Player's exact words after I awarded a throw to the other team (following a couple of other decisions he took exception to):

"What's the matter ref, did you not shag the missus last night or something ?"

Delivered in quite an aggressive way, not just a bit of friendly "banter".

Offensive ?
Insulting ?
Abusive ?

What would you have done?
This isn't disagreement with the decision, it's purely a personal attack.
Offensive, insulting, and abusive. Red card without regret.
 
Player's exact words after I awarded a throw to the other team (following a couple of other decisions he took exception to):

"What's the matter ref, did you not shag the missus last night or something ?"

Delivered in quite an aggressive way, not just a bit of friendly "banter".

Offensive ?
Insulting ?
Abusive ?

What would you have done?

I can see why some may say dissent and some may say OFFINABUS. I guess it’s down to you on the day.
You said that he’d already taken exception to a few other decisions, could you have sin binned him for dissent prior to this? If not had you used the stepped approach? That might have prevented the comment he made.

Personally, I’d probably have done him for dissent and with a parting comment of “actually twice last night and once this morning”
 
Player's exact words after I awarded a throw to the other team (following a couple of other decisions he took exception to):

"What's the matter ref, did you not shag the missus last night or something ?"

Delivered in quite an aggressive way, not just a bit of friendly "banter".

Offensive ?
Insulting ?
Abusive ?

What would you have done?

There are parts of the world that if a stranger says anything at all (let alone shagging) to a man about his wife, it would cause a fight. There are other parts that everyone would lough it off. It is all about how it is perceived by the person it is said to and others hearing it.

The way you have put it, I would have sent him of in a flash. And again form the word you used in your description of the incident, it is fairly clear to me you were both offended and insulted so i would expect you would have sent him off too.
 
There are parts of the world that if a stranger says anything at all (let alone shagging) to a man about his wife, it would cause a fight. There are other parts that everyone would lough it off. It is all about how it is perceived by the person it is said to and others hearing it.

The way you have put it, I would have sent him of in a flash. And again form the word you used in your description of the incident, it is fairly clear to me you were both offended and insulted so i would expect you would have sent him off too.
I don't make you wrong, but I'd probably be inclined to offer some sort of self-deprecating retort. Admittedly a riskier tactic, but I find players respond well to wit, assuming wit is what is achieved
YHTBT however
 
I don't make you wrong, but I'd probably be inclined to offer some sort of self-deprecating retort. Admittedly a riskier tactic, but I find players respond well to wit, assuming wit is what is achieved
YHTBT however
That is what i would do if I am not offended but I think other would think i should be offended. When I am offended/insulted getting player just punishment takes higher priority to getting him to respond well :)

But I do applaud @Justylove's wit on both counts. Obviously he is not as offended (or non at all) as I was.
 
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That is what i would do if I am not offended but I think other would think i should be offended. When I am offended/insulted getting player just punishment takes lower priority to getting him to respond well :)

But I do applaud @Justylove's wit on both counts. Obviously he is not as offended (or non at all) as I was.
I’m 45 years old and have been with my wife for 22 years, so a playground comment like that would be treated with the contempt it deserves which is why I’d go yellow with a comeback as I showed the card.

However I can understand why some people would be offended and decide to send off.
 
I’m 45 years old and have been with my wife for 22 years, so a playground comment like that would be treated with the contempt it deserves which is why I’d go yellow with a comeback as I showed the card.

However I can understand why some people would be offended and decide to send off.
Mate after that long, i'd like to know your secret if you are... twice one night and once the morning after :D:p
 
What you shouldn’t say is “No cos I was too busy s******g your missus/mum last night”
Whilst tempting, it would probably kill your match control......

I was thinking that myself. But I don't know if the lads would cheer you on or take you on for being more out of order than one of their own?
 
Think I must be in the minority here, but I don't find the comment close to being offensive. Given that he previously disagreed with other decisions, I might be using the captain to say that any more might find him cooling his heels for 10 minutes.
 
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As tempting as it would be to reply with what Justylove said and believe me, for me it would be really hard not to, you're just giving them what they want. You would be giving them the excuse they are craving to go all out on you. My reaction would probably be loud whistle, caution the player and leave them in no uncertain terms that they have reached the limit and any more they will be off. Then it's up to them how they conduct themselves. They are more than likely trying to influence your next decision in their favour.

What I don't get is that when I go to games as a fan ( I follow a non league club ) on lots of occasions dissent and offinabus towards officials and especially assistants by the dug outs goes unpunished yet as a grassroots ref I'm expected to stamp it out.

My problem is I have a high tolerance level
 
As tempting as it would be to reply with what Justylove said and believe me, for me it would be really hard not to, you're just giving them what they want. You would be giving them the excuse they are craving to go all out on you. My reaction would probably be loud whistle, caution the player and leave them in no uncertain terms that they have reached the limit and any more they will be off. Then it's up to them how they conduct themselves. They are more than likely trying to influence your next decision in their favour.

What I don't get is that when I go to games as a fan ( I follow a non league club ) on lots of occasions dissent and offinabus towards officials and especially assistants by the dug outs goes unpunished yet as a grassroots ref I'm expected to stamp it out.

My problem is I have a high tolerance level

The biggest difference as you go up the levels relates to “event management” as you’ve got people paying to come into the match to watch it.
Rightly or wrongly at higher levels the is a different expectation.
 
Thanks for comments everyone, useful to know a range of options for future. Have to say I took no action on this occasion. I was caught a bit off-guard by it and didn’t really have it clear in my head quick enough to respond, and by the time I’d thought about it I was too late really. Luckily I didn’t have any other issues with the player in question, maybe he realised he’d got away with one and ought to keep his head down after that.
 
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