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Opinions Welcome on Abuse!

L

leicester Ref

New Member
I had the pleasure of a Saturday adult game 23/02/19. After giving a penalty in the 65m the away team went 1-2 ahead.
The home manager saw red and started using foul/abusive language towards me, away manager who was my linesman
and his players. He had at least 5 outside agents with him, I thought very hard before making my decision to go over to him
and warn him of his conduct. Reason in my head why I didn't was not to inflame the situation more. After the match the away
manager said I was more than professional in how I managed the match under the circumstances I was in. When I got home
I immediately put my match report in. To cut a long story short nothing can be done with the home managers behaviour because
I should have gone over to him in the first instance then threatened abandoning the game. I asked the question where in the L.O.T.G.
does it state this procedure. Their answer, it is in the F.A. procedure and they will send me a copy of this by email. I'm still waiting
with no reply. My safety comes first for me and anyone on the f.o.p. I have been a referee for years and never come across this before.
Your views are very welcome to debate.
 
The Referee Store
Impossible to give accurate advise as only you were there
What I would say is, unless its different where you are, you do not have grounds to report the manager unless you have dismissed him at the time
I know of some formats where there is scope to pass comment on the tech area behaviour but, if the conduct was that poor that its reportable, you need to do your bit at the time, and dismiss
No matter how sensible your plan of attack was at the time
Reason being, any panel reading your report will simply say, well, cant have been that bad, as you allowed him to remain at the side of the pitch

There are procedures in place to deal with abusive coaches and despite what seems sensible at the time, if folk simply stuck to them, instead of inventing their own medicine, then the offenders can be dealt with. Your abuser walks scot free due to you not following that set procedure, sadly meaning its your sensible approach that allows him to abuse another referee/team this weekend.


Edit its understandable that is maybe not the reply you wanted but the facts are better than fiction. And, in no way is it a personal attack on you, merely the actions within.
 
That’s a good point, and just can I had Mike Dean put an end of game report in over the spurs manager who got a big fine and made a public apology, Or have I got this wrong to lol
 
leicester Ref said:
That’s a good point, and just can I had Mike Dean put an end of game report in over the spurs manager who got a big fine and made a public apology, Or have I got this wrong to lol
Click to expand...

Dean reported the Spurs manager for his conduct after the game
As I read yours, it happened during the game
Where do you suggest Mr Dean removes the Spurs manager to after the game as finished?
The EFL/EPL etc also has the facility to impose retrospective action if required, with or without a referee report. Its only the same sport as we do, in that they use the same shaped object. Comparing the behaviour/sanction/reporting of a top EPL manager by a top EPL ref cant be further away from the grass roots "equal" if it tried.

if your going to take the urine out of the advice given, either dont ask....or, its best someone else can spin you a yarn. Your thread title really should be, "opinions welcomed as long as they are not the gospel correct procedure I should have followed" (as also indicated by the reply you have already had from said league/association)
 
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In many ways, grass roots football is a nightmare, yet it's the entry level for all of us
No defined Technical Areas, chaotic CARs and limited control over hostile spectators. I sympathise on account of us needing advanced communication skills to de-escalate threatening situations whilst being firm enough to retain overall control and adhere to proper process (dismissing the manager in this case, without being assaulted)
 
Big Cat said:
In many ways, grass roots football is a nightmare, yet it's the entry level for all of us
No defined Technical Areas, chaotic CARs and limited control over hostile spectators. I sympathise on account of us needing advanced communication skills to de-escalate threatening situations whilst being firm enough to retain overall control and adhere to proper process (dismissing the manager in this case, without being assaulted)
Click to expand...
The other point I’d like to make, my 15yr old son as just completed his ref course and needs to do his 5games do I tell him what happened to me on Saturday and put him off before he starts or do we stick with the Respect Campaign?.
 
leicester Ref said:
The other point I’d like to make, my 15yr old son as just completed his ref course and needs to do his 5games do I tell him what happened to me on Saturday and put him off before he starts or do we stick with the Respect Campaign?.
Click to expand...

If it is anything like my course, they will have already covered what to do with unruly managers/spectators, so he should have already had his eyes opened.
 
I don't envy you. Absolutely agree that your safety comes first. A few questions.

Which team won at the end?
Intimidation from the sideline impacted your decision in dismissing the manager. But did it also impact your decisions on game matter?
Did you think of abandoning the game?
Did you fear abandoning the game could have been a risk to your safety?
 
one said:
I don't envy you. Absolutely agree that your safety comes first. A few questions.

Which team won at the end?
Intimidation from the sideline impacted your decision in dismissing the manager. But did it also impact your decisions on game matter?
Did you think of abandoning the game?
Did you fear abandoning the game could have been a risk to your safety?
Click to expand...
The away team won in the end 1-2, and yes in my mind even going over to him with his outside agents would have in my opinion inflamed the situation, I had to think long and hard for my safety. His team earlier in the season won this team 0-6 so there was no bias in my mind for both teams.
 
Well the positive side of it is they didn't impact the result. Otherwise it should have most certainly been reported.

There are things a referee can do in terms of prevention and management of teams who use intimidation tactics. It is much more manageable if it's known before going into the game. But in terms of what to do now after the game in OP, I would certainly put a report in. Explain the behaviour and the aggression and especially how they had presented as a 'gangster group' (for lack of a better term). It may not lead to suspension but it will have good benefits.

It prevents appointment of referees who may be inexperienced or incapable of managing them. The next appointed referee may be warned/prepped about them so it can be managed better. If there was a report before yours from another ref and there is another one next week then there is a much better chance the comp would be able to take action with overwhelming evidence. They can't do anything if they don't know.

EDIT: In addition, as soon as I feel that the intimidation is impacting my decisions on the game, it's time to abandon. Approach the other manager and ask to be escorted to your car. Leave and explain things later. If you think stating the real reason for abandoning can jeopardise your safely, just say you don't feel too well.
 
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one said:
Well the positive side of it is they didn't impact the result. Otherwise it should have most certainly been reported.

There are things a referee can do in terms of prevention and management of teams who use intimidation tactics. It is much more manageable if it's known before going into the game. But in terms of what to do now after the game in OP, I would certainly put a report in. Explain the behaviour and the aggression and especially how they had presented as a 'gangster group' (for lack of a better term). It may not lead to suspension but it will have good benefits.

It prevents appointment of referees who may be inexperienced or incapable of managing them. The next appointed referee may be warned/prepped about them so it can be managed better. If there was a report before yours from another ref and there is another one next week then there is a much better chance the comp would be able to take action with overwhelming evidence. They can't do anything if they don't know.

EDIT: In addition, as soon as I feel that the intimidation is impacting my decisions on the game, it's time to abandon. Approach the other manager and ask to be escorted to your car. Leave and explain things later. If you think stating the real reason for abandoning can jeopardise your safely, just say you don't feel too well.
Click to expand...
Feign injury instead of chucking in the sick note
Everyone ought to relate and sympathise with the former, seeing as how they're adept at it!
 
leicester Ref said:
The other point I’d like to make, my 15yr old son as just completed his ref course and needs to do his 5games do I tell him what happened to me on Saturday and put him off before he starts or do we stick with the Respect Campaign?.
Click to expand...

You, as a qualified referee yourself and keen supportive father, go along to his matches to offer support, advice and encouragement and also to quickly "have a word" with anybody who happens to be daft enough to abuse him during the event. ;) :cool:
 
I dont know how or where this abuse is going to end, will it ever, its getting worse
for sure.

My four games last weekend, two parents sent off on separate days and not a single card handed out to any player.

In kids 12s to 16s the players cause me very little problems, the parents are an absolute nightmare.
 
I would have liked more support from the F.A. We are their to ref a fair game of football and because we love what we do, not to be treated like dirt.
 
My Saturday league has had to issue a stern warning to clubs about abuse as we have lost 10 refs since the beginning of the season. We normally source cup semi-finals with NARs. We can't do that now, not enough refs, and the club's are complaining!!
 
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