A&H

Team left at half time

JoeMaloney5

Well-Known Member
Level 7 Referee
When we arrived my Dad informed team B that we had been unable to find a referee and that I was a referee before he could say anything else the team b coach said "I know that he is your son I recognise him" my dad asked him if this Is ok (as per league rules incase of conflict of interest) he replied "yes of course that's fine".

The game started and about 20 minutes into the first half the linesman for team B raised his flag for offside however the player dribbled this ball himself through the defence and the player offside did not become involved in play. I therefore allowed play to continue which led to a goal kick for team B. The players were furious saying I cant over rule their linesman and there coach was screaming at me saying the same.

25 minutes into the game the same thing happened again a team A player dribbling through with another player who was offside but didnt become involved in the play this time it led to a goal and I had all the players surround me calling me cheat and saying that I had no clue what I was doing. The coach at this point was being rather aggressive shouting at me.

At half time the score was team A 5 - 0 Team B. Team A players came back onto the pitch but then all the parents for team B walked right across the pitch to the coach and players at that point there coach shouted at me " we aren't playing if you are going to be like that what's the point" I walked back over to the sideline having abuse hurled at me from team B players and parents. I was called specky and ginger **** by both players and spectators and an idiot by the coach. The parents were also shouting at team A players saying that they are a disgrace and that they aren't even good at football. My dad went up to there coach and said " I really dont think you are setting a good example to your kids here but good luck for the season" and he walked away he had the teamsheet on the clip board thrown at him by the team B coach and one of their parents ran after him calling him a scouse **** and tried to punch him from behind but had to be restrained by another parent it was awful to witness and I have never seen such poor behaviour.

My dad has just taken over this team a few weeks ago after his players left the coach of team B as he wasnt very kind to his players and they formed this new team which he got asked if he would take as coach. The players moved team Bs club to a new club to form team A. So some history there but that shouldnt matter.

Any advice?
 
The Referee Store
Obviously unacceptable behaviour that should be reported. Do the paperwork carefully. And get help from your RDO.


And, rather than but, your last paragraph is very revealing. In retrospect probably you should avoid refereeing your dad’s team. Even with a last minute cancellation by the ref, it’s one of those to avoid, like if there’s only a level 7 in the crowd for a level 3 game. Nice thought but politely decline.
 
When we arrived my Dad informed team B that we had been unable to find a referee and that I was a referee before he could say anything else the team b coach said "I know that he is your son I recognise him" my dad asked him if this Is ok (as per league rules incase of conflict of interest) he replied "yes of course that's fine".

The game started and about 20 minutes into the first half the linesman for team B raised his flag for offside however the player dribbled this ball himself through the defence and the player offside did not become involved in play. I therefore allowed play to continue which led to a goal kick for team B. The players were furious saying I cant over rule their linesman and there coach was screaming at me saying the same.

25 minutes into the game the same thing happened again a team A player dribbling through with another player who was offside but didnt become involved in the play this time it led to a goal and I had all the players surround me calling me cheat and saying that I had no clue what I was doing. The coach at this point was being rather aggressive shouting at me.

At half time the score was team A 5 - 0 Team B. Team A players came back onto the pitch but then all the parents for team B walked right across the pitch to the coach and players at that point there coach shouted at me " we aren't playing if you are going to be like that what's the point" I walked back over to the sideline having abuse hurled at me from team B players and parents. I was called specky and ginger **** by both players and spectators and an idiot by the coach. The parents were also shouting at team A players saying that they are a disgrace and that they aren't even good at football. My dad went up to there coach and said " I really dont think you are setting a good example to your kids here but good luck for the season" and he walked away he had the teamsheet on the clip board thrown at him by the team B coach and one of their parents ran after him calling him a scouse **** and tried to punch him from behind but had to be restrained by another parent it was awful to witness and I have never seen such poor behaviour.

My dad has just taken over this team a few weeks ago after his players left the coach of team B as he wasnt very kind to his players and they formed this new team which he got asked if he would take as coach. The players moved team Bs club to a new club to form team A. So some history there but that shouldnt matter.

Any advice?
Youth football can be an absolute powder keg of utter nonsense. There was a massive scrap between parents in the town of Rushden lately and your story is not an uncommon tale
The Leagues you referee in seem rough as **** tbh
Hopefully you like the character building aspect of being abused and here's hoping you can let it all slide right off you...
 
Ask a senior colleague / RDO / appointments secretary (etc) to go through this with you and send a report in about an abandonment.
 
Report. Report. Report.
Write every little detail that you can remember down and speak to your RDO about how best to put it all through.

Sometimes I wonder if football is worth it at all given some experience people have to put up with.
 
Hi @JoeMaloney5

What a horrible situation, especially has you were trying to get the kids a game.

Others have said, but you need to report. A summary of what is needed is:

1. A report to the league and the FA for the abandonment - The Team leaving will be charged accordingly
2. A report to the CFA Welfare Officer about the attitude of the coaches with U18's present. This is a safeguarding issue, which the CFA will deal with the club with. If they have previous, then the CFA will know.
3. If you could identify the players and the coaches for their comments, then these would go an an extraordinary incident report to the CFA.
4. An extraordinary incident report for the Team B spectators to CFA; and their failure to control.
 
When we arrived my Dad informed team B that we had been unable to find a referee and that I was a referee before he could say anything else the team b coach said "I know that he is your son I recognise him" my dad asked him if this Is ok (as per league rules incase of conflict of interest) he replied "yes of course that's fine".

My dad has just taken over this team a few weeks ago after his players left the coach of team B as he wasnt very kind to his players and they formed this new team which he got asked if he would take as coach. The players moved team Bs club to a new club to form team A. So some history there but that shouldnt matter.

Any advice?

So, unless I've got the wrong end of the stick, we have a set of kids and parents that all used to be pretty much the same squad a few weeks back, who then "broke away" as a result of resentment around a former coach. One set of these is now coached by your Dad. When the day comes for the two teams to meet, your Dad asks his son to be the referee. Sounds like it was a recipe for disaster before a ball was even kicked to be honest Joe. (?) ;)

In any event, you need to take the advice given above and ensure that this sort of behaviour is punished appropriately.

Oh, and one more thing ....

Next time I'm having a pretty crap game and feeling sorry for myself, I'm gonna remember some of your threads on here and remind myself that it could be a lot worse - I could be @JoeMaloney5 . :wtf: :p :D :p

FFS Joe you do get some horror shows don't you son? :D

Keep smiling up there lad. ;) :)
 
So, unless I've got the wrong end of the stick, we have a set of kids and parents that all used to be pretty much the same squad a few weeks back, who then "broke away" as a result of resentment around a former coach. One set of these is now coached by your Dad. When the day comes for the two teams to meet, your Dad asks his son to be the referee. Sounds like it was a recipe for disaster before a ball was even kicked to be honest Joe. (?) ;)

In any event, you need to take the advice given above and ensure that this sort of behaviour is punished appropriately.

Oh, and one more thing ....

Next time I'm having a pretty crap game and feeling sorry for myself, I'm gonna remember some of your threads on here and remind myself that it could be a lot worse - I could be @JoeMaloney5 . :wtf::p:D:p

FFS Joe you do get some horror shows don't you son? :D

Keep smiling up there lad. ;):)
Haha I certainly do! However with often less frequency these days as I've become better at managing games ... most of them at least 🙈
 
So, unless I've got the wrong end of the stick, we have a set of kids and parents that all used to be pretty much the same squad a few weeks back, who then "broke away" as a result of resentment around a former coach. One set of these is now coached by your Dad. When the day comes for the two teams to meet, your Dad asks his son to be the referee. Sounds like it was a recipe for disaster before a ball was even kicked to be honest Joe. (?) ;)

No doubt you undertook to referee with the best of intentions but I tend to agree with what Kes has said. We should be careful about accepting on the spot appointments - consider carefully and if there is any hint of conflict best to diplomatically decline.
 
Kids playing with a qualified ref or kids playing with a coach or a parent. No brainer for me espeicially as a ref you will naturally be stricter to the team you have affiliation too, so all of their decisions will have to be nailed on to be given
 
I often use the ex-ref line in my sales patter, in professional circles you get great credos for having good man management experience and the ability to work under pressure. Believe it or not 'most' people ultimately respect our sometimes impossible positions and wouldn't be a referee for all the tea in China... Hammo makes a great point!!!
 
Thought this might interest some--but note the disclaimer:
"This is a speculative commercial (spec spot) from the University of television and film, Munich. It has been produced by students and is not an official commercial from the client."

 
I have just been notified by county fa that there is a personal hearing about this and have asked if I can attend. I've never had this happen before. They've asked for me to attend a date that I am unable. I've read on my county fa website that FA regulations state that referees are required to attend these hearing is this true? Also what happens in one of these personal hearings? I'm just abit worried.
 
Nothing to worry about @JoeMaloney5 . Let them know you are not available on the date proposed, give them some alternative.
If you've already made a report you'll be asked to confirm it and if there is anything else to add.
If you wrote it correctly there will be nothing more to add. You may get some questions, stick to the facts in your report and Bob's one of you parents' siblings....
 
If you aren't available they need to offer you a different date. Where referees often come unstuck though is they haven't closed these unavailable dates with county, so the argument comes back that you could have been given a county cup game on that date so you should be available.
 
If you aren't available they need to offer you a different date. Where referees often come unstuck though is they haven't closed these unavailable dates with county, so the argument comes back that you could have been given a county cup game on that date so you should be available.
Some of us don't have a means of closing dates with our CFA
I say to all my refsec's, I'm available if you don't hear from me
 
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