A&H

Thought I'd seen it all

Brian Hamilton

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Observer/Tutor
I've refereed more than 500 games, been assistant on probably another couple of hundred and observed another 250-300. So all in all, over the last 19 years and 6 months since qualifying I thought I'd encountered most incidents. Turns out I was wrong.

Player cautioned after 72 for naughty kick on a player who got away from him. I'd spoken to him with his captain about another matter a few minutes before so it was teed up nicely. Same player launches into challenge on 75, briefly coming down out of orbit to land an outstretched boot on the ball. Coaches on touchline did that involuntary "oooh" noise when you see a really bad challenge. Book is out as the player lands and then I see his number. I check all other recognisable things (boots, hair colour, hair style, etc.). Walk towards him and he begins to complain as I reach for the yellow and then the red. He's off, tells me to "Piss off" as he goes. Dawdles and initially refuses to leave the technical area, then gestures at me as he moves around the field.

So far, nothing too unusual, except at the final whistle he comes back and tells me he's given a false name at the original caution. Turns out he was the manager's son/grandson and gave the name of a player who doesn't play for the team any more. I write it all down and it all goes in.
 
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I do wonder sometimes when we send a player off is an agreed name is given (of a player who has left the club)? This way the fine is paid but nobody gets a ban.
 
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Crikey Kent Ref that's some cynical thinking there :)
I think the chances are minute though and a real danger of being caught/exposed. God knows what the consequences would be for a Club caught doing this
 
To add to the things never seen before. Im about to restart the game after half time this morning when I see a midfielder stood having a cig. I just laugh along with every one else and tell him to put it out so we can get going. He stubs it out in the ground, pulls his shorts down a bit and puts it inside a packet of cigs that he has stuffed inside his undershorts.

Cue every one laughing including me. I tell him to go and put them away somewhere and he says "no ****** chance, those ******* will smoke them". All good fun but something to add to the 'first time I've seen' theme
 
I do wonder sometimes when we send a player off is an agreed name is given (of a player who has left the club)? This way the fine is paid but nobody gets a ban.

Unlikely to happen from next season on in Wales. We're going online-only even at grassroots, all players registered must have a passport style photo. It would be very unusual if a player was dismissed to have the wrong name and picture - if anything, I think it should make it easier to deal with the 'wrong name' incidents.

Rather, I've found that to be the case in the upper tiers using the system this season - I quite like it actually.
 
Unlikely to happen from next season on in Wales. We're going online-only even at grassroots, all players registered must have a passport style photo. It would be very unusual if a player was dismissed to have the wrong name and picture - if anything, I think it should make it easier to deal with the 'wrong name' incidents.

Rather, I've found that to be the case in the upper tiers using the system this season - I quite like it actually.
What about identical twins? Sneaky buggers them 🥴
 
I used to ref a mainly African team, clueless with the names, they always gave me nicknames and numbers and I sorted it out with the manager after. All good, you’d never guess the spellings!
 
Do names not get added to teamsheets along with numbers over there? We don't even ask for names here, we go strictly by number.
 
A few years ago, I regularly encountered identical twins who played for the same open age team. One day, one of them wasn't playing due to injury. The other one fouled an opponent, for which I blew for a free kick. The opponent headbutts the playing twin, and is promptly assaulted by the non-playing (and limping) twin, who was in his civvies.

Opponent gets sent off, and non-playing twin gets reported for misconduct.

Later that day, the Manager rings me to say the non-playing twin had given me the playing twin's name.

Now, I did wonder if either the non-playing twin had indeed given me his brother's name because perhaps he was on the verge of a suspension?

I also wondered whether he had given me the correct name, and it was the Manager who was lying, and wanting the innocent twin to take a caution to prevent his brother being suspended.

I have Refereed this pair many times since, and still can't tell them apart.

My daughter tells me "one is better looking than the other"!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Crikey Kent Ref that's some cynical thinking there :)
I think the chances are minute though and a real danger of being caught/exposed. God knows what the consequences would be for a Club caught doing this

I have had exactly this happen. Was a day to forget as the same team forced an abandonment for ill discipline. Fines ran to nearly £600 all in and player had ban doubled to 6 matches, plus 2 for his third red of the season.
 
I have had exactly this happen. Was a day to forget as the same team forced an abandonment for ill discipline. Fines ran to nearly £600 all in and player had ban doubled to 6 matches, plus 2 for his third red of the season.

Crikey that must be a hell of a story!
 
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