Need some guidance here it feels over the last few weeks everything had gone to **** ! I do youth football being an older ref 11-12s but a good standard some of theres kids play as good as 15 year olds !! But I’ve started to not enjoy it over the last few weeks going into games now with trepidation about what is going to happen because the coaches and parents seem all to have lost then plot since coming back from the last lockdown !! The games feel on edge because one mistletoe in the coaches eyes always causes a bit of grief shouting etc !! I’m reffing the same as when I’ve done 20 games on the bounce with out any fuss but as I said over the last few games it’s mayhem I now go into games waiting for it all to go off which it generally does as you might see from my last posts is it me ???? Advice appreciated as I’m now feeling I don’t even want to do my next game and I want to enjoy my games
What’s gone wrong !!
- Thread starter Zimmyman
- Start date
Whereabouts do you Ref? Just thinking someone could probably do with eyes on as impossible to say otherwise
Bet Middler
New Member
A nice early card should calm the buggers down, they cant say they weren't warned!!!
Gamespoiler
Well-Known Member
Two things, you need to have a zero tolerance approach to any dissent form players/coaches whilst at the same time being completely empathetic to everyone's feelings and emotions. Impossible really. Key is being confident and authoritive or more importantly giving the impression that you are. Regarding the lines (parents, football agents, aspiring wags etc) just remember you are there to referee the children, not the old people. It will be in the league rules that the team manager is responsible for managing the line, sometimes they need reminding of their responsibilities when it is getting out of hand.
Don't give up and don't doubt yourself and use this forum for support. Best of luck
Don't give up and don't doubt yourself and use this forum for support. Best of luck
RefRyanAus
Member
Three thoughts:-
1. try not to beat yourself up. We all have bad experiences and sometimes more than one in a row.
2. Get back out there. No good comes from avoidance or over analysis.
3. Change something. A lower tolerance early sounds like it might help but also things like change in pre-match routine, a focus on particular types of foul that you have found problematic.
Commit to keep fronting up until you are enjoying it again. It just takes one good game where you feel like you made most of the right calls and had everything under control to feel great again.
I am only a young referee and so I do remember that under 12s can be a bit of a pain in the ass. Even though they can be quite good it sometimes feels like there are a million of them and not enough pattern to find the right spot and rhythm to your refereeing. I personally enjoy refereeing older juniors much more.
Anyway. Hang in there!
1. try not to beat yourself up. We all have bad experiences and sometimes more than one in a row.
2. Get back out there. No good comes from avoidance or over analysis.
3. Change something. A lower tolerance early sounds like it might help but also things like change in pre-match routine, a focus on particular types of foul that you have found problematic.
Commit to keep fronting up until you are enjoying it again. It just takes one good game where you feel like you made most of the right calls and had everything under control to feel great again.
I am only a young referee and so I do remember that under 12s can be a bit of a pain in the ass. Even though they can be quite good it sometimes feels like there are a million of them and not enough pattern to find the right spot and rhythm to your refereeing. I personally enjoy refereeing older juniors much more.
Anyway. Hang in there!
one
RefChat Addict
Added a little bit that for me is critical. I know referees who don't have a single arrogant bone but their attempt in being firm and authoritative come across as arrogant.
Another option that worked for me in the past is taking a couple of weeks off. Helps you reset and drive away the bad omens
PinnerPaul
RefChat Addict
Maybe have a break from the 'youth'
Not easy at the moment, until all football returns, but maybe do a few lines on OA - male or female.
You're not in Middlesex are you - they are looking for ARs for OA CC Q/Fs and S/Fs this very Sunday!
Not easy at the moment, until all football returns, but maybe do a few lines on OA - male or female.
You're not in Middlesex are you - they are looking for ARs for OA CC Q/Fs and S/Fs this very Sunday!
No I’m another county sorry
I spoke to my RDO a few weeks ago who highlighted to me the sharp increase in sin bins and INOFFABUS since the return of football, with the suspicion being that people have a lot of built up frustration. Obviously that’s no excuse and you should continue to deal with it as the LOTG allow, but it could well be what you’re seeing the end result as well
I haven't done many 'proper' games since the end of March, but at the start of this season I definitely noticed a sharp downturn in player behaviour after a honeymoon period of a few weeks - only three cautions in my first three middles, followed by 11 cautions, 5 reds and a misconduct report in the next three!