Witty comebacks


RefChat Addict
Come on a few on here must have had a few over the years.

I heard a ref say recently "I make 400 decisions a game, if i only get two wrong im doing ok"

How do you stand on having a go at a players performance if they have a go at you, ive heard " im having a better game than you are"


RefChat Addict
Level 4 Referee
I dont really have the personality to make remarks about players but am okay with the self depreciation comments; they usually get a smile..
One thats not whitty really but worked a treat. Called home captain in for a chat about his player and future conduct regarding dissent. He comes in all you just want to give out cards blah blah blah. I tell him no, thats exactlywhat we are doing here, trying to avoid cards. Talk to your player, make sure he doesnt get one.
Second half, foul on one of his players, cue the captain.. thats a booking ref.
I said hang on a minute mate, in the first half you accused me of just wanting to card people (dont think I'd actually had a card out by this point) and now here you are asking for cards?
He looked at me all puzzled for a second and then said, oh yeh, fair enough.
Never heard from him again..

Sheffields Finest

Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind!
Level 7 Referee
When a player constantly moans at you for losing decisions etc, tell him that you’d spoke with his manager before the game and he was expecting consistency..... 👍

Ciley Myrus

RefChat Addict
You can try this when someone questioning your ability..

"Look mate we are all on the same pitch for the same reason, we are all as sh** as each other, you think if i was a good ref I be HERE on a Sunday afternoon for 40 quid?"

Sheffields Finest

Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind!
Level 7 Referee
I used to park my old Red Evoque up and players would comment about a quality car for a humble referee. So I’d tell the gullible ones that the CFA had contributed half the cost as a prize for the most bookings last season..
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Sheffields Finest

Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind!
Level 7 Referee
Marking out a free kick distance and player in the wall shouts out, the obligatory 'Ten Yards ref?'........ 'No, they've just changed it, Its 9.14-metres now!!' Cue, blank uneducated expression!!!! :D


I used to be indecisive but now i'm not so sure
Level 5 Referee
Player punched a ball yesterday to try and disguise a header out of his box

Player: Why are you booking me for that ref??
Me: Did you handball it?
Player: Yes
Me: Did you do it deliberately?
Player: (Smile emerges on his face) Yes
Me: Do I have to answer your question now?
Player: Probably not, no


RefChat Addict
"That's our ball ref" as ball goes towards the line. "It has to go out first. I don't make the rules" as ball is intercepted."
"Which game you watching ref?" "Well it's certainly not Man Utd v Chelsea"
After a particularly challenging game where the No 10 was riding me the whole game. At the point of handshakes "Crap game today ref". Me - "Don't be so hard on yourself mate, you did your best."