Junior/Youth Mistake blots a decent game

U15 league fixture with history; conduct was broadly good, as I set out in the captains' talk, and only 2 away players had verbal warnings for fouls in the 1st half.
Away captain was spoken to for another foul early in the second half, and I reiterated that a few of his players were skating on thin ice. They were leading 4-1 at this point. Quite soon after, the captain needlessly kicked the ball away after a throw had been awarded right in front of the home technical area. He protested that he was giving it back, but after the public word, the only credible response was a caution for delaying the restart.
None of the away players close to a booking were a problem after that, so I guess it did its job.


Then the regrettable moment: home team were frustrated (5-1 down, 10 minutes left) and a player reacted to something he claimed to have heard by saying 'shut up' quite aggressively, within my earshot. I blew up, but suddenly realised I wasn't sure he had committed an OFFINABUS or dissent offence, so I told him to calm down and not get involved with spectators. Decided to restart with IFK despite not cautioning; all a bit of a mess. Now I think I should have produced the yellow and put it under C1 (AA) later because it looked shoddy; or just waited till the ball was out of play to speak to him.

Handshakes at the end, learning points etc. But I think the coaches were just pleased it hadn't descended into chaos, as their cup fixture had a few weeks prior.

Shut up to you or shut up to another player.??

'Shut up' to you is clear dissent YC (as long as its not shouted in your face aggressively then its a RC).... to someone else I'd keep a lid on it by having a quiet word and if he keeps it up then it may be AA, YC, certainly not RC as its typed. Unless the CFAs are desperate!!!

SF is right. But yiu do need to keep an ear out for verbals between teams at that age group. Kids in mens bodys and brains of 8 year olds sometimes!!!!!

Thanks, yeah, I would have had no qualms about cautioning if he had said it to me, but it was directed at a spectator. It was nowhere near a red card, and I suddenly realised after whistling I didn't have a good enough reason to book him either.

SLI39 said:

Thanks, yeah, I would have had no qualms about cautioning if he had said it to me, but it was directed at a spectator. It was nowhere near a red card, and I suddenly realised after whistling I didn't have a good enough reason to book him either.

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So your mistake was not that you failed to issue a lemon but chose the wrong restart. Should have been a dropped ball.

in that case when you are unsure which player it was, try a little bluff look in the general direction of the players and say, why did you do that, it is amazing the ammount of players who will tell you exactly why the did it, lol job done

Yeah, that's a good point about the dropped ball. I think I just got it into my head that it was booking/IFK, and couldn't readjust. I don't think my instinct was wrong; as you say, at any age players shouldn't get away with disrespect. But that could have been handled with a word at the next stoppage.

He said shut up and you're thinking you should caution? If you cannot handle U15's speaking out (he hasn't shouted), without leaving it to the next break in play and then talking with (note not at or to, but with) then I do worry for you.

I respectfully disagree. Partly I stopped because I feared there might be an altercation. Also, this was a team with which I had had issues before by being far too lenient with language/attitude. I admit I didn't handle this well, but I would see this as a hypercorrection rather than being too sensitive (my tolerance level is quite high, but I made it clear to the captains that it would be very low today if previous problems were to flare up again). I know 'shut up' isn't the worst thing that's been said, but just as many on here believe cracking down on this is particularly important. Today I blew up before thinking it through, but I cannot discourage referees from making use of their powers, even when it seems trivial. I know from experience that problems can build and build if you don't nip aggression in the bud.

"Shut up", not directed at me and not at volume? I'd let that go by all match long............

It depends on the nature of the game. If there has been verbals between the two teams then intervention is good if it is a one off comment then I would let it go. As the post says there is history with this youth team I think that speaking to him was the right thing to do.

Tino knows Best!!!!

@SLI39 - as others have said, the restart should have been a DB.

But on stopping the game for an admonishment was sensible, if you felt that that if left would lead to greater problems. Such as to spectators who then become more aggressive in their comments. Pro-active refereeing!

Control was maintained, so no worries.

Definitely not offinabus, if you felt that it was leading to an altercation then you'd be right to issue a caution. Consider why he's saying shut up as well, has the opposition player wound him up?

For the most part, I'd just say a quick get on with it, and go back for a quiet word afterwards, players are less likely to try something if they know you're looking.