The Ref Stop

Awful Match Yesterday

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AndyW

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Did a match yesterday which was awful.

Red Card in the first half for punching an opponent .. Cue mass confrontation !
Manager for the team whos player just punched an opponent comes running on the pitch giving me abuse .

Managed to calm the situation down until the linesman ( friend of the player i sent off ) comes running towards me and calls me an f**k*n* Cu** and throws the flag towards to .

Second half comes and a player runs towards me with an open fist and calls me again a Fu***ing Cu** so I send him off too.

Throughout the match I wanted to send the manager off as he was constantly giving me abuse but where can i send him with no dugouts and on a public pitch ?

I should have abandoned but i didnt want to show them i was frightened of them
 
The Ref Stop
Wow Andy, doesn't sound like a good game. Just 'one of those days' where nothing seems to go right for you.

Did it involve two notorious teams or did they just kick off? Anything in the game; decisions-wise that could have brought the temperature of the game up or was it the mass confrontation that led to the bad feeling?

The assistant is something which you cannot help, just take his name and report him for misconduct to CFA, he'll have his comeuppance. Same goes for the manager, unless you've done something wrong (which sending off his player certainly wasn't) then he has no grounds to say anything to you realistically barring the usual moaning. So if what he said falls into 'OFFINABUS' then get a report in on him too!

As for where you'd send him - back to his car. As stupid as it sounds but that's the only place. I did this to a lady before as she was shouting abuse at the kids playing (back when I did youths - many moons ago!), the cars were a good 400m away from the pitch, but I held the game until she was half way to the car and then kept my eye on her until she got to the car.. Public pitches, it is the only way because that tends to be the only place out of 'close proximity' to the FOP.
 
wow Andy, keep going - don't let it put you off you'll have so many games that you'll enjoy but you'll never forget that experience. There's a lot of things that could be attached to the problems. Bad blood from previous games or bad blood between players maybe when playing for other clubs. What chance if they were local playes that it might not have been football related. I remember refereeing 2 teams I had played for a few years before I took up the whistle and I knew most of the players both as ref and previously as a player. The captains at KO didn't shake hands but I never took any notice. I cautioned a few players during the game as the two teams took lumps and bumps and 20yrs ago two cards was rare but afterwards although I knew both captains really well they had a major issue. One captain (unmarried) unknown to me had gone off with the other captains wife 2 weeks before the game. heh ho!
 
AndyW said:
Did a match yesterday which was awful.

Red Card in the first half for punching an opponent .. Cue mass confrontation !
Manager for the team whos player just punched an opponent comes running on the pitch giving me abuse .

Managed to calm the situation down until the linesman ( friend of the player i sent off ) comes running towards me and calls me an f**k*n* Cu** and throws the flag towards to .

Second half comes and a player runs towards me with an open fist and calls me again a Fu***ing Cu** so I send him off too.

Throughout the match I wanted to send the manager off as he was constantly giving me abuse but where can i send him with no dugouts and on a public pitch ?

I should have abandoned but i didnt want to show them i was frightened of them
Click to expand...


Andy,

Looks like the respect campaign worked at your game.

I have had similar out burst at games I have covered, they always blame you for their own short comings.

During one game I had a club assistant (not a sub player) who also called me the same and when I approached him he threw my flag away. I asked him to leave the line and spoke to the team manager and he asked one of his subs to do the line.
After the game I got the assistant name and sent my report in to the teams local FA ' He got banned from running the line for the rest of the season'
We shouldn't have to put up with this, but it just seems to be the norm.

Don't be put off, just imagine what the game would have been like if they didn't have a referee.

It is hard to abandon the game, but if no one will take notice of you, then be calm and and blew your whistle and abandon the game, the League & FA will back you all the way.
 
Craig Hardy said:
Andy,

Looks like the respect campaign worked at your game.

I have had similar out burst at games I have covered, they always blame you for their own short comings.

During one game I had a club assistant (not a sub player) who also called me the same and when I approached him he threw my flag away. I asked him to leave the line and spoke to the team manager and he asked one of his subs to do the line.
After the game I got the assistant name and sent my report in to the teams local FA ' He got banned from running the line for the rest of the season'
We shouldn't have to put up with this, but it just seems to be the norm.

Don't be put off, just imagine what the game would have been like if they didn't have a referee.

It is hard to abandon the game, but if no one will take notice of you, then be calm and and blew your whistle and abandon the game, the League & FA will back you all the way.
Click to expand...
 
GregR said:
Wow Andy, doesn't sound like a good game. Just 'one of those days' where nothing seems to go right for you.

Did it involve two notorious teams or did they just kick off? Anything in the game; decisions-wise that could have brought the temperature of the game up or was it the mass confrontation that led to the bad feeling?

The assistant is something which you cannot help, just take his name and report him for misconduct to CFA, he'll have his comeuppance. Same goes for the manager, unless you've done something wrong (which sending off his player certainly wasn't) then he has no grounds to say anything to you realistically barring the usual moaning. So if what he said falls into 'OFFINABUS' then get a report in on him too!

As for where you'd send him - back to his car. As stupid as it sounds but that's the only place. I did this to a lady before as she was shouting abuse at the kids playing (back when I did youths - many moons ago!), the cars were a good 400m away from the pitch, but I held the game until she was half way to the car and then kept my eye on her until she got to the car.. Public pitches, it is the only way because that tends to be the only place out of 'close proximity' to the FOP.
Click to expand...

Can you acctually send someone to their car? Really? And if he refuses?

And just as a curveball, what if he didn't have a car? :P
 
You just send them away from the fop. If they won't go, you could use the "They go, or I go" routine. If they don't leave the fop then I abandon

It's amazing how quickly they move
 
I threatened to abandon and he said "f*c*ing abandon it then * I didnt want to let them win so i carried on :D
 
Reffari said:
Can you acctually send someone to their car? Really? And if he refuses?

And just as a curveball, what if he didn't have a car? :p
Click to expand...

As Ross said, it's just sending them away from the vicinity of the FOP, not always to their car but I knew her car was the only place for her to go where she wouldn't have frozen (being as it was December!). Again going from what Ross said, it is amazing how fast people will tell others to move if they think the game is at risk because you've given them the 'them or me threat'.

Andy, if the guy said that to you then you could have used that in a report and used it as a reason for abandoning, as the others have said, your county and the FA will back you to the hilt if you abandon for a legitimate reason which after what the guy said could possibly be passed off as a 'threatening environment' and could have lead to the 'endangerment of your safety'. So I understand you didn't want it to seem as though you were intimidated but abandoning could have been the best thing in that situation if it had got 'that' bad..
 
I agree with all comments & understand the reasoning not to let them think they have won but as referees we sometimes have to do what is neccesary. Ironically this earns a strong reputation and an element of respect by return.
Personally I don't allow myself to be intimidated and have never felt threatened but have used those descriptives in reports to ensure my message was received and the image of the game protected.
 
Hi Andy W
A number of points here
1. The manager can be sent away from the field of play and surrounds. That location is anywhere away from view and from being heard. It is of no concern to the ref where that is just that the person cannot 'influence' the game any further.
2. Same would apply to the CAR
3. Once you were verbally threatened with violence then the match can be abandoned. In some way when it is abandoned the club has not won as the League if it is doing it job correctly should take severe disciplinary action against the club and these officials/players. In a perverse sort of way they may have 'won' in that their action may not be treated as seriously without an abandonment.
4. I appreciate your concerns about showing your resolve in dealing with these persons and perhaps continuing with the game was the 'safest' decision. However a decision to abandon would have taken greater resolve and one that does take more courage. The team knew that as well by the comment to do so.
Anyway you got through the game and no doubt reported all this thuggish behaviour which hopefully will be dealt with in the manner that is required.
 
Ouch! Shake it off, mate, and just be ready for the next one! Next time, what do you reckon you'll do differently?
 
I had a situation at a U/16 game where a parent was abusing me from the touchline and I wasent sure why!! What happened was that from a corner one of the players (which turned out to be his son) had got a knock to his head and fell behind the goal off the pitch. I was following the ball out and also glancing back to where the incident happened but couldent see the player lying behind the net. The parent
was very aggressive and extreamly abusive rather than running to his own sons aid which I think was to impress his wife who was also watching. When the player was eventually being treated I tried to speak with the parent but he still wouldent calm down and just wanted to blame me for everything. I spoke to the manager of the team and told him that if the parent spoke 1 more word to me I wanted him removed or otherwise I would be leaving....he never said another word all game as the manager knew I wasnt joking...dont let the idiots win!!!
 
Q. You don't need answer to spectators especially if they are doing things to impress. But if you knew the parent wasn't happy why go back to try and reason. Going back to try and appease someone already unhappy adds fuel to the fire.
 
Yes your right you should not answer spectators but you should also not have to put up with abusive shouting when there are decent people watching the game. I was thanked for my actions by plenty of the other parents at the end of the game.
 
You don't have to ever put up with abuse even if you don't answer a spectator. Just speak to the home manager, as you did, but do it right away instead of after entering into a conversation with the parent. You lose credibility by so doing --- unless you have a really good zinger lined up.
 
Yes as any referee would do exactly that but you were not there so to be so patronising tells me that either your not very well qualified or just a numpty player who is looking for an argument!!!! Bad parents need educating.....end of!!!! now any reply please be constructive and not playing mummy bear!!!
 
Crikey Gordy, everyone is entitled to an opinion. You sound as irate as the parent who was doing the bad mouthing.

I'm glad that you feel passionate about a matter which needs stamping down on throughout the game but there is no need to get personal.
 
haha, yer that was the old parent/player coming out in me!! Ive crossed the line now but cant help looking back sometimes!
 
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