The Ref Stop

Just Starting Out!

Pleased to see you can recognise your own failings unlike some on here........

Not quite a failing! more just simply my way of expressing things, on this occasion I just felt the OP answered his own query in the post.

one persons blunt is another persons rude I guess, flip side, one persons spiel can just be hot air...depends what you take out of it I guess

My own personal answer to the OP is, "captain?", "heads/tails?" "enjoy the game, good luck". And off we go. Granted other folk will have alternative things to say and am sure there is merit to (some) of it.
 
The Ref Stop
Please can we remember this is the new referees forum. Blunt answers may have a place in the other forums, but they don't in here.

As for the question, my advice is that going into the teams' changing rooms is a big no no, as is talking to the team as a whole before the game. You would be setting yourself up for a fall as if you say you will do something and then don't, even if this is because you didn't see / hear it, you will have players on your back saying "ref you said if you saw / heard that you would ..". Just have a brief chat with the captains (work with me guys, if your players look like getting out of hand get hold of them before I have to, etc), if they don't pass that on then that is their problem.
 
Not quite a failing! more just simply my way of expressing things, on this occasion I just felt the OP answered his own query in the post.

one persons blunt is another persons rude I guess, flip side, one persons spiel can just be hot air...depends what you take out of it I guess

My own personal answer to the OP is, "captain?", "heads/tails?" "enjoy the game, good luck". And off we go. Granted other folk will have alternative things to say and am sure there is merit to (some) of it.
Got so that during the kit check, I reminded the players who was in charge and that if I had to 'talk'to them there was a reason for it.........
 
Rusty called it blunt. I would call it sarcastic and belittling. If it's a response to those of us on this forum for a long time, we take it as banter, give as good as we take and create more work for the mods. But for a new ref, or even an experienced one but new to this forum, it means, well, that the end of this forum for me.
 
Don’t isolate yourself in being timid with the players and managers, act confident, (even if you’re not).
Learn some good comebacks to the standard stuff, push in the back, he’s all over me, offside etc.
Learn who can be a friend on the pitch, it may not be the captain, the sensible one, get paid after too, then if you’re bag gets robbed you’re fee wasn’t there!!
 
Please can we remember this is the new referees forum. Blunt answers may have a place in the other forums, but they don't in here.

As for the question, my advice is that going into the teams' changing rooms is a big no no, as is talking to the team as a whole before the game. You would be setting yourself up for a fall as if you say you will do something and then don't, even if this is because you didn't see / hear it, you will have players on your back saying "ref you said if you saw / heard that you would ..". Just have a brief chat with the captains (work with me guys, if your players look like getting out of hand get hold of them before I have to, etc), if they don't pass that on then that is their problem.

Thank you for your answer.

Would be good if "experienced referees" would answer like this instead of just jumping in and replying that doesn't make sense at all. We all started somewhere.
 
Thank you for your answer.

Would be good if "experienced referees" would answer like this instead of just jumping in and replying that doesn't make sense at all. We all started somewhere.
Their would be 2 schools of thought, the newer refs, just started out maybe last season, can give great current advice on their findings doing exactly the same path and secondly the 'older' refs on here have probably forgot what happened 10-20 years ago and its probably changed now anyway, so that stuff may be out of date!! New stuff starts like rolling subs or the naughty step so all views are coming from different angles and experiences!!
 
Do you speak to players/ managers in there changing room prior to the match? if so what sort of stuff do you say? I'm due to referee my 1st match soon U14 level however as a current Sunday League player, I never see the referee until the start of the match.

I don't speak to any players /managers in the changing rooms prior to the match, only contact I need and am happy with is a text /call /email of confirmation and details of venue etc, then when I turn up to the game (Sunday league) I either use a separate changing room, or turn up ready and remove coat etc, change boots, all at side of pitch or in car, store bag away from teams (usually near a corner flag) or in car if raining, and speak to managers before to get club AR's, receive payment, ask the managers to make sure players take all jewellery off, have a quick laugh of some sort where I can, just make very short conversation, show I'm approachable etc.

Shake hands, just be natural if you can, don't try and overdo anything or be more than you need to be.

You don't want to make friends, you'll probably make enemies 😂.

Just show confidence, take your time and think about decisions where you can in the game. Any more questions, fire away.
 
Rusty called it blunt. I would call it sarcastic and belittling. If it's a response to those of us on this forum for a long time, we take it as banter, give as good as we take and create more work for the mods. But for a new ref, or even an experienced one but new to this forum, it means, well, that the end of this forum for me.


A site moderator can pass comment, a random poster cannot, I personally find some of your posts to be xxxxxxxxxxxx however I don't go as far as to reveal that publically.
There was nothing sarcastic or belittling from my end, the word to describe what I typed is as I said, "blunt"
If I need or want your opinion on the tone of my posts, I will either ask for it, or, refer to you a site moderator. (of which you are not)

Far more interesting, and less personal, is, that, the more "helpful" replies since, all quote the same things I already posted....all along the lines, of, say nothing/bare polite minimum,

If it helps the new referee further, I will throw in something not mentioned yet, unless its happened unbeknown to me, at the very top level, there is no pre match talk where I am.
Further still, given this forum does not cover every referee of all time ever, I would say its 50/50 as to whether a kit inspection/boot check etc takes place at games at all.

even small talk is prob best avoided , something as innocent as "hows the season going", or "how did you get on last week", will usually result in them turning it into a ref rant about how they would have won the last 6 games but for dodgy pens and offsides
I have experienced it work the other way too, I did a league decider years back in area I don't normally referee, and turned out the manager of one of the teams was someone I had known for xx years, so, strolling about the park pre match we did have a chat, few mins into game, manager is using my name instead of "ref" and the other team began to think something was amiss.

suppose can only try and test what works best
 
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I don't speak to any players /managers in the changing rooms prior to the match, only contact I need and am happy with is a text /call /email of confirmation and details of venue etc, then when I turn up to the game (Sunday league) I either use a separate changing room, or turn up ready and remove coat etc, change boots, all at side of pitch or in car, store bag away from teams (usually near a corner flag) or in car if raining, and speak to managers before to get club AR's, receive payment, ask the managers to make sure players take all jewellery off, have a quick laugh of some sort where I can, just make very short conversation, show I'm approachable etc.

Shake hands, just be natural if you can, don't try and overdo anything or be more than you need to be.

You don't want to make friends, you'll probably make enemies 😂.

Just show confidence, take your time and think about decisions where you can in the game. Any more questions, fire away.

Thanks mate, that's great info!!
 
Hi Guys,

I've been reading some threads on this forum for a few days, I recently applied for a course that takes place in the not so distant future (11th of Feb) and I can't wait. Becoming a Ref is something that never even crossed my mind but to me it sounds perfect, I've never been any good at football but I have an absolute passion for the sport, being able to get on a kit and step out onto the pitch will be an amazing feeling everytime I do it, regardless of what level, I just really can't wait!

I know some of these questions may have been answered on here but I really wanted to start my own account and get involved with the comunity on here. So apologies if I ask some questions that you guys are bored of answering, hopefully one day I'll be on here answering a rookies questions after I've been involved for a few years.

To try give you guys some background info I'm doing the Basic Referee Course in the Northumberland FA, I'm a few weeks away from my 20th birthday, and I'm currently a University student.

If I'm honest I only really have one question, but more than likely I'll have more to follow in a few months. What type of footwear will I need? Do I need football boots, or just general trainers? I know it's better if the footwear is all black, but I was just wondering what type of footwear I need to buy, if you have any recommendations on types/brands that would also be greatly appriciated.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, I'm counting down the days till I get started!
Dec

P.S - Any random tips or tricks for a newbie would also be amazing!

When you've refereed about 4 matches come back on here and tell us how excited you are
looking forward to your next game....
 
Good luck.

The course is easy, actually getting out there and getting your boots dirty, not so much.

I don't do youth football, and my first game was between the bottom two teams of the bottom division of my local mens sunday league, so my experience may not match yours exactly.

You first game will be a blur, it will feel overwhelming, like everything is going at 100mph, and you'll wonder how you will ever get used to it. It takes time but you will, the more games you do the less you'll need to think, as a lot of things will be come second nature.

Also, you will make mistakes, some of them little, and some of them big (I didn't send someone off for a hand ball on the line 17 minutes into my first game). Everyone makes mistakes, even premier league referees, just don't dwell on it during the game you'll get distracted and likely miss other things.

Always reflect on your games. I always give it a bit of time to let emotions etc calm down so that I can think back on certain parts of the match wit ha clear head. Think about various incidents and how they went, do you think you handled it in the right way, if not, how could you improve that for next time. Missed a foul? think about what you could change to improve your chances of spotting things next time, maybe you need to be closer, or get a better angle.

And if you come across something you're not sure of, after the game check the laws of the game, and if you need a different view/perspective don't be afraid to ask on here.
 
Can we please pin the above post for every first time referee. Fantastic summary.

The only thing I would add is, you be as nervous as a cow in a beef factory, just pretend to be confident. Especially with your whistle and blow it as loud as you can.
 
If anyone is interested I would add to it as well something which gets overlooked, be ready for it hydration and energy wise...find what works for you, whether it mars bar half hour before, lucozade, certain breakie on the morning of game, and take water out with you! Amount of times I see park refs not rehydrating at half time, you must!
Well clearly that is not a law but you gonna loose xxxx in the first half and it needs replaced, it also refuels the brain!

edit, your own bottle, not sharing the teams ! yeuch!!

and for the many am sure who will scoff at my post, what do the players do at half time....they refuel ! Given you have been, or should have been, ten times more active than them, you really need to do the same.
 
Good luck.

The course is easy, actually getting out there and getting your boots dirty, not so much.

I don't do youth football, and my first game was between the bottom two teams of the bottom division of my local mens sunday league, so my experience may not match yours exactly.

You first game will be a blur, it will feel overwhelming, like everything is going at 100mph, and you'll wonder how you will ever get used to it. It takes time but you will, the more games you do the less you'll need to think, as a lot of things will be come second nature.

Also, you will make mistakes, some of them little, and some of them big (I didn't send someone off for a hand ball on the line 17 minutes into my first game). Everyone makes mistakes, even premier league referees, just don't dwell on it during the game you'll get distracted and likely miss other things.

Always reflect on your games. I always give it a bit of time to let emotions etc calm down so that I can think back on certain parts of the match wit ha clear head. Think about various incidents and how they went, do you think you handled it in the right way, if not, how could you improve that for next time. Missed a foul? think about what you could change to improve your chances of spotting things next time, maybe you need to be closer, or get a better angle.

And if you come across something you're not sure of, after the game check the laws of the game, and if you need a different view/perspective don't be afraid to ask on here.

Regarding not sending someone off so early, do you think that because those sorts of incidents are rare in televised football, we don't expect to see it as a referee in early grassroots career? And so if it happens, we did really think about it properly. I think that could be how a lot of new referees think, I know it affects me a little bit.
 
Regarding not sending someone off so early, do you think that because those sorts of incidents are rare in televised football, we don't expect to see it as a referee in early grassroots career? And so if it happens, we did really think about it properly. I think that could be how a lot of new referees think, I know it affects me a little bit.
I had a deliberate HB on the line just recently. Don't think that it won't happen, just because it hasn't happened yet!
 
Given you have been, or should have been, ten times more active than them, you really need to do the same.

Obviously does not apply to centre circle referees! >_>

Caught one of the local cup games online the other day, it had been filmed! Was really cool to watch, but I found myself asking, where's the referee?! I get irrationally annoyed about it, I probably shouldn't!
 
Regarding not sending someone off so early, do you think that because those sorts of incidents are rare in televised football, we don't expect to see it as a referee in early grassroots career? And so if it happens, we did really think about it properly. I think that could be how a lot of new referees think, I know it affects me a little bit.
No, I think I just had a brain fart. Hasn't happened since
 
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