A&H

Mentor advice

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lesbobly

Member
Having recently suffered an on field heart attack - just last Saturday morning - I’m now sitting in hospital with a newly implanted stent and contemplating my next move.

I don’t want to stop, and hope to prove to my wife and daughters that I can recover a safe level of fitness, at the very least for U11 games to start with, maybe mini tournaments - but that is a longer term plan.

In the meantime I have started on the first step to “mentoring” - so i have come here to pic up tips, help and advice from any existing mentors or others with similar experience.

69-year-old, don’t wanna give up, ref
 
The Referee Store
So sorry to hear about that terrible experience - no one should have to deal with that. Whilst, I have never mentored or been mentored, I would absolutely say to base your advice on personal experiences. Other people's insight is always very helpful. Don't give up!
 
lesbobly said:
Having recently suffered an on field heart attack - just last Saturday morning - I’m now sitting in hospital with a newly implanted stent and contemplating my next move.

I don’t want to stop, and hope to prove to my wife and daughters that I can recover a safe level of fitness, at the very least for U11 games to start with, maybe mini tournaments - but that is a longer term plan.

In the meantime I have started on the first step to “mentoring” - so i have come here to pic up tips, help and advice from any existing mentors or others with similar experience.

69-year-old, don’t wanna give up, ref
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear about your on field experience!

Whilst not a qualifed ref yet 😉

I provide advice from the position of a professional mentor.
  • Be honest
  • Be neutral (Some mentee's just want to vent, that's fine. But instead of just agreeing, constructively challenge their mindset otherwise it's just a downward spiral)
  • Share the good and the bad (I have learnt far more from my mistakes and bad decisions then I will ever learn from my successes)
  • Share what you wish you knew as a new ref
  • Guide - don't tell. (Less of "You should do this" and more of "Have you considered/thought about") Also less of "If I was you". Mentees are far more likely to take on advice if they discover the answer/decision/pathway for themselves, as opposed to being told what to do (IME)
 
Aw no, do sorry to hear that. Rest, get well, follow the experts’s advice. Football can wait, it will wait until you are ready!

I was a mentor for four referees last season. I was lucky, they were older, mixed experience, but all had experience, and two were flying. We had a Whatsapp group where they asked a lot of questions, mix of practical stuff and LotG. And I assessed each three times.

I was lucky as I had an active group. Took up a hit of time but very motivating. Other colleagues had less motivating experiences as they had e.g. one disengaged, one young and not ready to commit and one not able to do it. So be prepared that your mentees might not have motivation or potential. Fingers crossed!
 
The Ginger Ref said:
Sorry to hear about your on field experience!

Whilst not a qualifed ref yet 😉

I provide advice from the position of a professional mentor.
  • Be honest
  • Be neutral (Some mentee's just want to vent, that's fine. But instead of just agreeing, constructively challenge their mindset otherwise it's just a downward spiral)
  • Share the good and the bad (I have learnt far more from my mistakes and bad decisions then I will ever learn from my successes)
  • Share what you wish you knew as a new ref
  • Guide - don't tell. (Less of "You should do this" and more of "Have you considered/thought about") Also less of "If I was you". Mentees are far more likely to take on advice if they discover the answer/decision/pathway for themselves, as opposed to being told what to do (IME)
Click to expand...
Excellent advice … thank you
 
lesbobly said:
Having recently suffered an on field heart attack - just last Saturday morning - I’m now sitting in hospital with a newly implanted stent and contemplating my next move.

I don’t want to stop, and hope to prove to my wife and daughters that I can recover a safe level of fitness, at the very least for U11 games to start with, maybe mini tournaments - but that is a longer term plan.

In the meantime I have started on the first step to “mentoring” - so i have come here to pic up tips, help and advice from any existing mentors or others with similar experience.

69-year-old, don’t wanna give up, ref
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear of your health issue.
I suggest that, via your RDO, you should express interest in mentoring newly qualified referees and those in the early stages of their refereeing "journey"
It’s a not very stressful situation, as at that level you are not observing but acting as a friend of the referee.
Take care of yourself.
 
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