DaleM
New Member
Edit: Sorry for post length, just wanted to get it off chest more than anything. Shoulda probably been in the Your Fixtures section too.
It's finally happened! It took about 15 games but yesterday was the first time I've refereed and could not wait to get out of there. Before the game I could probably see it coming - the umpteen comments about how young I look and questions of my age gave it away that I was going to be challenged by the home side.
About 20 minutes in I gave a penalty against the home side who proceed to go mental. The lad steamed in on the edge of the box, won the ball in fairness but he 'went through' the lad and for me, it was a foul. Of course that invited a lot of criticism - 10 unhappy home players, paired with a horrific manager and coach combo on the sideline ranting away. The other 1 player actually said he agreed and seemed a sane head in amongst a sea of loons. Penalty scored, 1-1.
The next 25 minutes were horrific. With every offside decision I gave, I got criticism. The away team were actually very good with me. I'd spoken to one of their lads before the game who was also a referee about the home team only having two corner flags. He took the flag on for his side and for me did a good and fair job - I was more than happy to go with his decisions. Of course, these were against the home team attackers though, and that led to increased frustration.
In addition to that, there were a host of other decisions going against the home side. Ridiculous handball claims etc. I think the biggest error I made was not to book someone for dissent in this period. One forward in particular was losing the head and with the heat in the game I decided to opt for a talking to, slowing the play down at one offside decision which he'd became frustrated with.
Just before half-time there's an incident in the box which goes unappealed. A lad's arm goes up as he swings around and he slightly catches the shirt of a home player. For me, it wasn't an intentional shirt pull. Although there'd have been an argument for a shirt pull, I didn't think it was intentional, it didn't affect the player on the ball and I felt if I were to have given it, it'd have been very harsh.
This didn't escape the eye of the home manager and coach though. I blew for half-time at which point I approached the home manager (Who was clearly about to start having another go anyway) to let him know I couldn't take any more of him swearing on the sideline and that if it continued he'd be sent off.
He denied swearing and accused me of being unfair. He was of the view that it was never a penalty. I explained that from my view he got the ball but went through him. He said he wanted me to start being fair and told me I needed to start making my own decisions from offsides. I told him I was, at which point he said I wasn't, and that I was a 'ch...', stopped himself before he actually said the word, and told me not to speak to him. I told him if he reciprocated that we'd have no problem and went to get my water.
As I did, his coach, an extremely large chap, decided to go a step further and ask how the **** it was a penalty in the first instance but not in the second. I explained my view again, which wound him up. He began to shout his view over and over, if I remember right he called me a '****ing idiot*. The lad who had told me the decision was right earlier came over trying to get him away, telling him it wasn't my fault they were drawing and it was that it was because they were **** up top. This went totally ignored but wound him up more. He genuinely looked like he was ready to grab hold of me, so at that point I decided it wasn't worth the bother, and simply walked away from him.
In the second half, the home team went on to net another 3 and win the game 4-1. The home linesman now starts flagging for every potential offside. I'm keeping an eye on it and staying with his calls at first as he does have a better position and there's nothing clear cut enough to warrant the bother of overruling him. At one point though, a lad comes from behind the defender and he tried to flag for it. I overrule him and thankfully he was replaced after that - but it seemed a clear plot from the home side to give themselves decisions.
The thing I'm most annoyed with myself about is that, as he above with regards to 'warranting the bother' I felt I let the HT incident get into my head. At one point a home centre back went in to a ball which he was always going to get, but rather weirdly did a huge slide tackle 'into' and over the ball to win it. The challenger wasn't even close enough to even stick a foot in, so I let it go. Looking back on it I think I should have pulled it up there. I heard a shout after it from a home team player saying "I'm not risking anything in there" - it showed they were intimidated by it and I think that might well have been the purpose of it. I did go back to the player and tell him that he couldn't go over the top of the ball, to which he said he 'got the ball'. Well that's fantastic.
With 20 minutes left, the home manager tries bringing himself on in a pair of Nike trainers. When he gets his boots he joins the play and apologises for the shouting. Nothing from his coach though.
With about 15 left the away team are defending a corner when one of the home players catches an away player with a kick. I stop the game and the lad rolls off the pitch, but the lad who is 'physio' for the home team is now on the pitch, so I allow the play to stop for the treatment - with the thought that actually, this might be another good opportunity to take any heat out of the game anyway. Instead, it backfires, and I've got home players telling me that 'there's a ****ing hospital over the road', and that because he's off the park I've got to continue. I tell them quite clearly that I've given permission for the game to be stopped for treatement even if it is off the park.
After the game I have home players refusing to shake my hand (they've just won ffs). I have a chat with the away side player who also referees again and admit that I'd had a bad game. I told him I totally regretted not stamping out dissent etc early because I felt I'd backed myself into a corner. He said I was a bit 'arsey', but that the fact I knew I'd handled it wrong was a positive and that I had the right idea etc.
In the second half, it felt like the away team got nothing. I honestly remember thinking at one point "I'm going to have to give the away side something here, because they're very close to boiling over to the level the home team did." As it happens, I didn't anyway, but they're not thoughts you should be having in a game. As I said before, I really think the HT incident with the chap who looked like he'd already ate a few referees got into my head - 50/50 decisions were going to the home team and I imagine it was because subconsciously I was thinking I'd rather get out of here alive.
Other issues included nets that weren't pegged in well, only having 2 corner flags(?!), the referee room not being locked and another referee subsequently having his wallet stolen (not a clue why mine wasn't too but that would have topped it right off) and the respect campaign team/official positioning only being followed by the away side.
Big learning experience but must say it did put me off a little. Thankfully I had more than a few beverages yesterday evening to help forget about it. I've reported the relevant info to the league but I can't say I'm keen to be back anytime soon!
It's finally happened! It took about 15 games but yesterday was the first time I've refereed and could not wait to get out of there. Before the game I could probably see it coming - the umpteen comments about how young I look and questions of my age gave it away that I was going to be challenged by the home side.
About 20 minutes in I gave a penalty against the home side who proceed to go mental. The lad steamed in on the edge of the box, won the ball in fairness but he 'went through' the lad and for me, it was a foul. Of course that invited a lot of criticism - 10 unhappy home players, paired with a horrific manager and coach combo on the sideline ranting away. The other 1 player actually said he agreed and seemed a sane head in amongst a sea of loons. Penalty scored, 1-1.
The next 25 minutes were horrific. With every offside decision I gave, I got criticism. The away team were actually very good with me. I'd spoken to one of their lads before the game who was also a referee about the home team only having two corner flags. He took the flag on for his side and for me did a good and fair job - I was more than happy to go with his decisions. Of course, these were against the home team attackers though, and that led to increased frustration.
In addition to that, there were a host of other decisions going against the home side. Ridiculous handball claims etc. I think the biggest error I made was not to book someone for dissent in this period. One forward in particular was losing the head and with the heat in the game I decided to opt for a talking to, slowing the play down at one offside decision which he'd became frustrated with.
Just before half-time there's an incident in the box which goes unappealed. A lad's arm goes up as he swings around and he slightly catches the shirt of a home player. For me, it wasn't an intentional shirt pull. Although there'd have been an argument for a shirt pull, I didn't think it was intentional, it didn't affect the player on the ball and I felt if I were to have given it, it'd have been very harsh.
This didn't escape the eye of the home manager and coach though. I blew for half-time at which point I approached the home manager (Who was clearly about to start having another go anyway) to let him know I couldn't take any more of him swearing on the sideline and that if it continued he'd be sent off.
He denied swearing and accused me of being unfair. He was of the view that it was never a penalty. I explained that from my view he got the ball but went through him. He said he wanted me to start being fair and told me I needed to start making my own decisions from offsides. I told him I was, at which point he said I wasn't, and that I was a 'ch...', stopped himself before he actually said the word, and told me not to speak to him. I told him if he reciprocated that we'd have no problem and went to get my water.
As I did, his coach, an extremely large chap, decided to go a step further and ask how the **** it was a penalty in the first instance but not in the second. I explained my view again, which wound him up. He began to shout his view over and over, if I remember right he called me a '****ing idiot*. The lad who had told me the decision was right earlier came over trying to get him away, telling him it wasn't my fault they were drawing and it was that it was because they were **** up top. This went totally ignored but wound him up more. He genuinely looked like he was ready to grab hold of me, so at that point I decided it wasn't worth the bother, and simply walked away from him.
In the second half, the home team went on to net another 3 and win the game 4-1. The home linesman now starts flagging for every potential offside. I'm keeping an eye on it and staying with his calls at first as he does have a better position and there's nothing clear cut enough to warrant the bother of overruling him. At one point though, a lad comes from behind the defender and he tried to flag for it. I overrule him and thankfully he was replaced after that - but it seemed a clear plot from the home side to give themselves decisions.
The thing I'm most annoyed with myself about is that, as he above with regards to 'warranting the bother' I felt I let the HT incident get into my head. At one point a home centre back went in to a ball which he was always going to get, but rather weirdly did a huge slide tackle 'into' and over the ball to win it. The challenger wasn't even close enough to even stick a foot in, so I let it go. Looking back on it I think I should have pulled it up there. I heard a shout after it from a home team player saying "I'm not risking anything in there" - it showed they were intimidated by it and I think that might well have been the purpose of it. I did go back to the player and tell him that he couldn't go over the top of the ball, to which he said he 'got the ball'. Well that's fantastic.
With 20 minutes left, the home manager tries bringing himself on in a pair of Nike trainers. When he gets his boots he joins the play and apologises for the shouting. Nothing from his coach though.
With about 15 left the away team are defending a corner when one of the home players catches an away player with a kick. I stop the game and the lad rolls off the pitch, but the lad who is 'physio' for the home team is now on the pitch, so I allow the play to stop for the treatment - with the thought that actually, this might be another good opportunity to take any heat out of the game anyway. Instead, it backfires, and I've got home players telling me that 'there's a ****ing hospital over the road', and that because he's off the park I've got to continue. I tell them quite clearly that I've given permission for the game to be stopped for treatement even if it is off the park.
After the game I have home players refusing to shake my hand (they've just won ffs). I have a chat with the away side player who also referees again and admit that I'd had a bad game. I told him I totally regretted not stamping out dissent etc early because I felt I'd backed myself into a corner. He said I was a bit 'arsey', but that the fact I knew I'd handled it wrong was a positive and that I had the right idea etc.
In the second half, it felt like the away team got nothing. I honestly remember thinking at one point "I'm going to have to give the away side something here, because they're very close to boiling over to the level the home team did." As it happens, I didn't anyway, but they're not thoughts you should be having in a game. As I said before, I really think the HT incident with the chap who looked like he'd already ate a few referees got into my head - 50/50 decisions were going to the home team and I imagine it was because subconsciously I was thinking I'd rather get out of here alive.
Other issues included nets that weren't pegged in well, only having 2 corner flags(?!), the referee room not being locked and another referee subsequently having his wallet stolen (not a clue why mine wasn't too but that would have topped it right off) and the respect campaign team/official positioning only being followed by the away side.
Big learning experience but must say it did put me off a little. Thankfully I had more than a few beverages yesterday evening to help forget about it. I've reported the relevant info to the league but I can't say I'm keen to be back anytime soon!
