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New ref advice

J

Jimmy Squirrel

New Member
Hi folks
My lad is 14
Under 12's player said "**** off ref" to my lad after a decision didnt go the players way.
My lad issued a yellow card.
Was this correct or should it have been sin bin?
Later on a player said " Get out the pissing way ref" and he didnt caution for this.
Any advice appreciated
 
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Jimmy Squirrel said:
Hi folks
My lad is 14
Under 12's player said "**** off ref" to my lad after a decision didnt go the players way.
My lad issued a yellow card.
Was this correct or should it have been sin bin?
Later on a player said " Get out the pissing way ref" and he didnt caution for this.
Any advice appreciated
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I'd be showing a red for that, but my tolerance is low, but they're U12 so swearing does carry more weight. In an Open age game I've sin binned for being told to F off

Not cautioning for that second comment is probably fine, a quick word "I'll try not to get in your way but don't use that language or you'll go in the sin bin" or something will help
 
Jimmy Squirrel said:
Thank you.
Before games should he maybe get managers together and pre-warn them any swearing at him will be punished? That way nobody could say you didn't tell us beforehand
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No. Leaves him with no where to go and it will be used against him (everyone's tolerance to different swear words are different).

Just sin bin or issue red cards when necessary. If a referee has been told directly to f off by a player then a sin bin is the absolute minimum. Regardless of tolerance, it is the clearest piece of dissent possible. Just remember that it has to be a sin bin or a red at grass roots level. A straight yellow is only correct in law if its given for adopting an aggressive attitude. But the sin bin was brought in for these situations and thus should be used as such.

As for the "get out of the pissing way ref". Frustration and not direct dissent for me. No sanction. Possibly remind the player to not speak to me like that, depends on the game.
 
Jimmy Squirrel said:
Ok thank you.
So he needs to keep on top of direct verbal abuse towards him but no need to pre-warn is the message i think.
Learning curve.
Thanks for replies
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People do things in different ways but those that go up the levels soon realise that trying to pre empt situations by saying what the punishment will be just causes more problems than it solves.

Its all a learning curve and it sounds like he has some good support from yourself so he's on to a winner already.
 
As others have said he’ll work out his own way of doing things as he does more games. Just a note that any caution he shows for dissent, which is essentially what he showed the yellow for, should be a sin bin at grassroots level (in England). The only time that isn’t the case is if the player is a substitute/substituted player or the incident happens on the pitch after the full time whistle.

He should treat each case such as this individually and trust his judgement. The way you’ve described it the first incident is nothing more for me than a yellow and sin bin. Second incident is a brief word/warning, nothing more. Maybe a word with the coach after the game about use of age inappropriate language too if necessary.
 
Viridis1886 said:
For me the first is a nailed on red. Anyone that tells me to '**** off' is getting a red.
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I think it greatly depends on tone, volume and aggression - more how it is said, not what is said. Also important to distinguish between whether it is a general statement of frustration or a personal attack. “F*** off ref”, I can maybe see OFFINABUS if said loud enough and with enough aggression - just “F*** off”, not a chance. I’m aware the former was said in the original post, but without further information for me it’s a sin bin.
 
SammyT5 said:
I think it greatly depends on tone, volume and aggression - more how it is said, not what is said. Also important to distinguish between whether it is a general statement of frustration or a personal attack. “F*** off ref”, I can maybe see OFFINABUS if said loud enough and with enough aggression - just “F*** off”, not a chance. I’m aware the former was said in the original post, but without further information for me it’s a sin bin.
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I totally get what you are saying and I have let slide when players have said "f off", but when it is directed at me then that's red. It's the "f off ref" that makes quite a significant difference here. Especially for an 11/12 year old. That's not sliding for me. Imagine them 7 years down the line if they think that is an acceptable response? We set the bar on what we think is acceptable. Personally, I don't think that is for a 12 year old.
 
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Viridis1886 said:
I totally get what you are saying and I have let slide when players have said "f off", but when it is directed at me then that's red. It's the "f off ref" that makes quite a significant difference here. Especially for an 11/12 year old. That's not sliding for me. Imagine them 7 years down the line if they think that is an acceptable response? We set the bar on what we think is acceptable. Personally I don't think that is for r a 12 year old.
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I can also see what you’re saying and I suppose we all have an approach. In the moment I guess you make a split second decision on it and have to stick with it. I’d probably be a bit surprised to hear this from an 11 year old particularly at the beginning of the season, (though they have just started secondary school so probably feel all high and mighty).
 
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