The Ref Stop

Open Age One of those games last Saturday

HoofItYouDonkey

HoofItYouDonkey

RefChat Addict
Level 6 Referee
Bloody hate refereeing sometimes.
Had one of those teams on Saturday, just three of their players were utter pains in the arse. Moan, moan moan. They lost 6-1, sent off one for two bookables and cautioned two others.
At the end of the game got all the "you cost us that, ref" and "we were looking forward to you refereeing our game", etc. etc.
I do sometimes wonder if I should be playing golf instead on a Saturday afternoon, trouble is I love the game!!
Anyway, season nearly over...
 
The Ref Stop
On the bright side, if they were looking forward to you reffing their game then by implication they at least thought that you used to be a good referee :). Chin up Paul, only you (and the all knowing assessors :rolleyes:) can truly assess whether you got the calls correct ...
 
I wonder if players are coached / rehearse what they say back to referees ... sounds like your lot moan every week when they lose ...

I was doing u14 on Sunday - 3 times in the first 10 minutes when I blew for fouls against them, at least one player turned to me and said "there's 2 teams out here ref" - verbatim each time!

"To appreciate the highs you've got to experience the lows" ... was it Miley Cyrus who said that ..? ... keep going @paulwfromtheden - come June you'll be wishing for these types of games again vs the alternative ...
 
Alex71 said:
I wonder if players are coached / rehearse what they say back to referees ... sounds like your lot moan every week when they lose ...

I was doing u14 on Sunday - 3 times in the first 10 minutes when I blew for fouls against them, at least one player turned to me and said "there's 2 teams out here ref" - verbatim each time!

"To appreciate the highs you've got to experience the lows" ... was it Miley Cyrus who said that ..? ... keep going @paulwfromtheden - come June you'll be wishing for these types of games again vs the alternative ...
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I sometimes wonder if I have the right approach...A player asks me politely what I gave that for and I answer. That seems to spur them on to question more and more decisions. I half wonder if I should just keep schtum and tell them to accept the decision and get on with the game.
I had one of those 'leave it' moments where players were convinced that this is an immediate free-kick. Do you try and explain the law or just tell them to get on with it...
 
They'll be plenty of refs on here more experienced than you and I - but - for me - having a few approaches that you can go to - depending on the game - helps

I've never been a ref to say nothing and simply "run away" to avoid talking to someone either

I will always give them an answer ... re-assure them that I'm right in law (if it's a technical question) or start with "I've seen ..." ... perhaps tell them it's OK for them to disagree with you - but - moaning / shouting about it is the wrong way for them to deal with it ...

If the player says you've got it wrong - accept their opinion - maybe say "I'm sorry" (if only to help calm the player down) ... "if that's the only one I get wrong today I'll be happy with that" is another one that can (not always) work

Talking to them on a peer-level, taking a few seconds more to explain - whilst not delaying the re-start too much is tricky ... sometimes players will be more willing to talk ''nicer' after the re-start ... perhaps go near them again 20-30 seconds later ... again - sometimes (not always) - you'll get respect back with a line "you know what fella - hindsight - I reckon I did get that wrong - I'll try get a better angle next time"

Perhaps think too how you sell the free-kick ...
  • see it
  • give it (blow whistle)
  • sell it - "green 6 in his back" or "red 7 pulling shirt" while making a hand gesture clearly tells people what you've seen and given
Just some thoughts - seeing what others refs do is a really big help
 
Excellent reply Alex as for quoting Miley Cyrus.........Well????

I too dont mind explaining, briefly, decisions i have made if asked in the right way. I had it on Saturday though with one team captain who had moaned all day, came over when i was cautioning his team mate. "Ref can i ask you a question?" "No skipper you cant i have heard more than enough from you today and your walking straight into a second yellow so consider this a favour". Cretin! (i only said that bit in my head though)
 
Funny how if it's the captain who is often the biggest pain in the arse.
The bloke I sent-off in the OP was the captain, nice as pie before the game. Utter pain on the FOP.
 
paulwfromtheden said:
Funny how if it's the captain who is often the biggest pain in the arse.
The bloke I sent-off in the OP was the captain, nice as pie before the game. Utter pain on the FOP.
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That's because a few seasons back the laws were changed so that the captain (but only the captain, mind) is officially allowed to question any and all of your decisions, he is allowed to stand beside you and listen to whatever you are saying to any player from either team and is positively encouraged to have an opinion about every aspect of the game and to explain, "but I'm the captain," if you question any of these rights and duties.
 
Erm... maybe I missed the smiley...

But as far as I knew, those Laws were only changed in the minds of those who wore the armband... no? :)
 
Alex71 said:
If the player says you've got it wrong - accept their opinion - maybe say "I'm sorry" (if only to help calm the player down) ... "if that's the only one I get wrong today I'll be happy with that" is another one that can (not always) work

Talking to them on a peer-level, taking a few seconds more to explain - whilst not delaying the re-start too much is tricky ... sometimes players will be more willing to talk ''nicer' after the re-start ... perhaps go near them again 20-30 seconds later ... again - sometimes (not always) - you'll get respect back with a line "you know what fella - hindsight - I reckon I did get that wrong - I'll try get a better angle next time"
/QUOTE]
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Dangerous territory there Alex,
Firstly a player saying you've got it wrong is technically dissent and can quickly escalate if left unchecked.
I wouldn't admit to getting anything wrong either, although I will sometimes offer an explanation as to why I MAY NOT have seen something.
 
@deusex - absolutely - you need to call the situation spot on for it to work - however - I find it generally helps to admit you may have got it wrong - as long as (as you point out) - why you may have missed something (bodies in way, angle, etc.) ...

I like the 3 P's for dissent - if a player is calm and polite in telling me they think I got it wrong - and is not persistent with it - I'm not booking them
 
Don't think you can have a definitive list of dos/don't when speaking to players - some games, nothing you say will work, in others most will accept what you say.

You would think "Sorry, didn't see that" would be OK, but I've had "You saw THAT one ref!" very shortly after as a retort.

Sometimes you just can't win!
 
Whenever I really get the hump with a player who doesn't accept I've not seen something, I'll call them to me - hold up a few fingers behind my back - and ask them to tell me how many fingers I'm holding up ... prompts a variety of responses ... my response is normally then something like if they can't see through players how do they expect me to be able too !?!?
 
Alex71 said:
Whenever I really get the hump with a player who doesn't accept I've not seen something, I'll call them to me - hold up a few fingers behind my back - and ask them to tell me how many fingers I'm holding up ... prompts a variety of responses ... my response is normally then something like if they can't see through players how do they expect me to be able too !?!?
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I did something similar this season. CARs , so no help with this one. Ball went close to goal line, player screaming for a corner, "Come on ref that was miles over the line".

Irritated me particularly because score was about 6-0 at the time.

When ball next went out of play, said player happened to be in similar position to where I was when she made the shout, edge of pen area.

I went over to her and said "Not easy to see goal line from here is it" - She did get my point "Yeah Ok ref, just a bit of banter!":rolleyes:
 
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