The Ref Stop

Speaking to Captains

The Ref Stop
I agree, don't set yourself up for a fall.
It's only setting yourself up for a fall if you say one thing and then go on to do something else. If you say you're going to do something and then go on to do it, it's just working with the captains and setting reasonable expectations.

The exact wording varies, and keeping it brief is key, but the point I'm generally trying to get across to the captains is the idea that it benefits their team if the players listen to me. If I'm telling a player to calm down or to cut out a type of tackle, the captains should want that message to sink in.
 
After listening to a recent podcast I was curious what people say to captains at the toss up
"Captains, just two things for you today. Firstly, if I call you in with one of your players, then I'm trying to avoid a caution, so, whether you think I'm right or wrong, please concentrate on calming down your player. Secondly, I'm normally happy to chat to you like this at any quiet point in the game ... but shouting at me from 30 metres away will just be ignored, at best!". Only addition to the above would be confirming the rules if it's a cup game (Extra time, penalties etc).
 
My bog-standard pre match coin toss spiel:

"Okay gents/ladies, I'm not gonna bore the **** out of you here, just play safely, let me/us do the officiating and we'll all get on fine".

Then I go straight to the coin toss. :) 👍
 
Mine is pretty much ...

"Work with me not against me, if I call you in when I'm speaking to a player it is to try and help them avoid a card, so please don't add fuel to the fire. We can't manage the unmanageable, but together we can get hold of players before they talk themselves into a sin bin"
 
Never found it does any harm to ask their first names or call them that if you can remember them from the teamsheet, if applicable.

May not do any good, but no downside to being friendly, to start with at least!
 
Never found it does any harm to ask their first names or call them that if you can remember them from the teamsheet, if applicable.

May not do any good, but no downside to being friendly, to start with at least!
I’m a firm believer in this. Takes zero effort and immediately helps build rapport.

What do we think players are going to respond better to:
“Number 8 come here please”
Or
“Ben, come over here please pal”

Small things to make our lives & games easier!
 
"Captains, just two things for you today. Firstly, if I call you in with one of your players, then I'm trying to avoid a caution, so, whether you think I'm right or wrong, please concentrate on calming down your player. Secondly, I'm normally happy to chat to you like this at any quiet point in the game ... but shouting at me from 30 metres away will just be ignored, at best!". Only addition to the above would be confirming the rules if it's a cup game (Extra time, penalties etc).
Pinching this… 😂 much more concise way of covering what I already cover!
 
I’m a firm believer in this. Takes zero effort and immediately helps build rapport.

What do we think players are going to respond better to:
“Number 8 come here please”
Or
“Ben, come over here please pal”

Small things to make our lives & games easier!

"pal"

I've had a couple of level 3's tell me not to use words like they, avoiding opposition thinking you're 'pally' with players.

But I agree with the name taking.
 
Always use names if I know them. But always obtain captains names at least and introduce myself as James. Try and pick up some names as I go.
My standard is along the lines of
Not going to lecture you but all I ask is you Work with me today please, if I call you in, I'm looking to avoid a sanction, thats your chance to help your player. If you come and argue with me, it means I can't use you for help. Yellows and reds will just be dealt with.
Heads or Tails?

I find it interesting that folks don't engage with skippers in some way pre match. This happen at the higher levels just more privately in the changing rooms and our RDO at least is a big advocate of actually speaking to them and start to build a rapport with them.
 
"pal"

I've had a couple of level 3's tell me not to use words like they, avoiding opposition thinking you're 'pally' with players.

But I agree with the name taking.
Very much depends on the game, players and spirit it’s being played in.
If I’m getting on with both sets of players then things like ‘mate’ or ‘pal’ are fine.
If I’m getting on with one side more than the other then you’re quite right, I’d stick to names.

Above comment was purely an example of how to get players to respond in a more positive way by making an effort to build a rapport.
 
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