The Ref Stop

Open Age Tell the league I don't want you to ref us again

Jack M

Active Member
Level 6 Referee
This is what a manager said to me at FT today after (surprisingly!) his team lost.

His main gripe was with a penalty against his team in the 80th minute which ended up being the winner. He said I didn't give an identical foul in the build up.
When I gave said penalty, the defenders didn't argue and instead asked why he stuck his leg out.

Him and one of his players were quite vocal in their opinions at FT about my performance.

I'm still (relative to some on here) new to mens football having started properly last season, can anyone enlighten me as to where they get this attitude (arrogance) from?
 
The Ref Stop
They've given away a last minute penalty, of course they're going to be angry. He probably knows it's his fault but deflects the blames onto you. It might even be a subconscious thing, so he's making himself believe it isn't his fault. Just don't take it personally, football's passionate and there is definitely a blame culture. I was probably the same when I played without even realising
 
Easier to blame the Ref than to reflect on their own shortcomings as a player.

It's water off a duck's back for me a lot of the time but don't let them ever get abusive/personal with you, at that point use your cards and make sure you report anything post-game that meets this threshold. There's a line between being frustrated and appealing/having a moan about something and becoming abusive.
 
It’s a game of opinions mate , and as you’re the referee, it’s only your opinion that matters! Smile , flash a card if need be , and don’t worry about it😀
 
A few seasons ago, I had an appointment secretary send me to the same team 4 weeks out of 5.

They had a reputation as being a bit troublesome.

First game they hated me and I had 5 yellows, 4 of them for dissent (pre sin bin)

Second game, their reaction when I rocked up was priceless, and I had another 4 or 6 in the book, plus a send off for OFFINABUS.

Third game, the manager made a point of me hearing him say "Its this ref again, keep your mouth shut as if you don't he's going to card you. Two yellows for them, one for dissent the other for a foul tackle.

Fourth game, they'd warmed a bit to me and were as good as gold!
 
This is what a manager said to me at FT today after (surprisingly!) his team lost.

His main gripe was with a penalty against his team in the 80th minute which ended up being the winner. He said I didn't give an identical foul in the build up.
When I gave said penalty, the defenders didn't argue and instead asked why he stuck his leg out.

Him and one of his players were quite vocal in their opinions at FT about my performance.

I'm still (relative to some on here) new to mens football having started properly last season, can anyone enlighten me as to where they get this attitude (arrogance) from?
Two possibles here. He is either not going to follow through (the likely one). He just said it to blame someone's else for his own shortcoming.

Or he will follow through, which means he has done the same for other referees. He will be ignored as the pattern means the problem is on his side and not the referee's. League secretaries (or anyone else for that matter) are smart enough to figure this out.
 
I'd be very surprised if the manager took it any further and if he did I'd be even more surprised if anything came of it. Most leagues work on the basis that teams accept the referee they are allocated (and conversely that referees take the appointments given). Appointment secretaries have a difficult enough task covering games and that last thing they want is teams saying they don't want referee A, B or C for petty reasons.
 
Two possibles here. He is either not going to follow through (the likely one). He just said it to blame someone's else for his own shortcoming.

Or he will follow through, which means he has done the same for other referees. He will be ignored as the pattern means the problem is on his side and not the referee's. League secretaries (or anyone else for that matter) are smart enough to figure this out.

Referees and appointment secretaries quickly figure out who the problem teams are. There are ones who always complain about everything. If they don't get a referee appointed to them, they moan, if they do, they moan about the referee they have.
 
One thing to add, don't let this eat away at you, forget the game other than anything you need to learn from it and go again at the weekend. You will harden and warm to open age games and realise it's not personal against you, it;s just part of the game
 
One thing to add, don't let this eat away at you, forget the game other than anything you need to learn from it and go again at the weekend. You will harden and warm to open age games and realise it's not personal against you, it;s just part of the game
The weird thing is, I've done a lot of Saturday open age football but it seems Sunday leagues are just so much worse for this behaviour in my experience. I wouldn't have thought there would be much difference. Strange.
 
The weird thing is, I've done a lot of Saturday open age football but it seems Sunday leagues are just so much worse for this behaviour in my experience. I wouldn't have thought there would be much difference. Strange.

Few reasons for it.

Some of the players aren't good enough to play on a Saturday, so Sunday is their chance to be Ronaldo for the day (at least in their head), however the sad fact is that the reality doesn't match their expectations and they have to blame somebody for their shortcomings.

Other players play at a higher standard on a Saturday and just want to play for a Sunday team with their mates. The expectations on the players of the teams that they play for on Saturdays are much higher in terms of behaviour than for their Sunday team.

Add in the fact that games are played Sunday morning, and in normal circumstances many of the players are rocking up to play after a very late and heavy night on the booze. That all adds to it!
 
Teams like to blame the referee for making the decision rather than blaming themselves for giving the referee a decision to make. Welcome to refereeing!
 
Teams like to blame the referee for making the decision rather than blaming themselves for giving the referee a decision to make. Welcome to refereeing!
Yup. When I coached (and talked to my kids when they played sports) i often told players not to give the ref/umpire the opportunity to make the mistake. Obviously that has limits.
 
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