tough one tonight

[showry]

I'm just coming to the end of my second season, doing schoolboy football, and was getting into a good groove. Until tonight.
Under 16 boys, Greens v Blues. Two fairly physical teams and two fairly vocal benches.
At 1-1 in the second half I awarded Greens a penalty. Green player had rounded keeper, I ignored the shouts for offside from Blue bench. Blue defender comes across to tackle, wins the ball but brings down the Green striker as he follows through. I point to the spot but within a couple of seconds I'm thinking I've probably got this wrong. Blues are in no doubt and one of them talks himself into a straight red. The bench are going nuts at this stage. Cue all the "don't know what you're doing" shouts from along the line. The penalty is converted and it turns into a fairly bad tempered game. 5 minutes later Green keeper carries the ball out of his box while kicking the ball out. Blues score from the resulting free kick and things just get more bad tempered. Both teams are just lumping the ball up the pitch and between watching the aerials and trying to keep an eye on the afters from the clearances it's hard going. I ruled out a Blue goal for a foul on a defender which wound them up more. The game finished 2-2 but I came away very disappointed, probably destroyed whatever goodwill and reputation I'd built up. I know it was a poor performance, I guess I just need to learn from it, put it away and try and do a better job in the two cup games I've got Saturday.

 

[PP62]

Don't beat yourself up, I bet you got most decisions right. From what you said it sounds like it was probably a penalty and if one of them said something he shouldn't then well done for issuing the red card.
Don't worry about goodwill and reputation. You're a referee and they all think they hate us!
Just do the same on Saturday, you'll be fine.

 

[CapnBloodbeard]

This age can be quite a handful.
Winning the ball first often means your decision to award a penalty won't go down easily.
I wonder what others say about the bench going nuts - should have have dealt with them at this point? The textbook answer is yes....would others have felt the game is better served by trying to get on with it?
Just wondering about Green keeper - did you have NAR's, or was it clearly carried out (as opposed to released on the line and actually kicked a yard out).
When it gets into aerial ping pong in a heated match it's tough, because you're trying to watch the drop zone as well as being aware of any late challenges.
You're going to walk off the field sometimes when all the major decisions went one way and one team thinks you're the worst referee ever to walk the pitch. Unfortunately, that's part of the job. In these games, it's nice when you can walk away and know that you at least got those decisions right - and it certainly sounds like you did. It can be hard to keep your cool and keep making the tough decisions in a game like this so well done there.
People are abusing the badge, not you - and it's a mixture of not understanding the laws, bias for one's team, and being generally appalling human beings. If the spectators were going nuts in a youth match then that explains why the team were so poorly behaved on the field. Unfortunately, these games are often highly unenjoyable, as the players are brought up in a culture of disrespect and a lack of responsibility for their actions.
As for reputation - while one team may hate you, you still 'built up' your reputation with the other team as not being afraid to make tough decisions and hold players accountable for their actions. Don't worry too much about goodwill and reputation. Go out and do the best job you can and those things will take care of themselves - and even the best referees have plenty of people/teams who believe they should have lost the right to blow a whistle years ago.

 

[Matthew]

This is part and parcel of being a referee unfortunately. Sometimes you'll come away thinking you're the worst referee in the world. The best thing you can do is reflect and think "why did I get that wrong?" and try to learn from it, then forget about it and move onto the next one, you're allowed to have a bad game every now and again. Although, having said that, it doesn't sound like you had a particularly bad game; winning the ball doesn't mean that it can't be a penalty, plus having the guts to send a player off despite the vitriol coming from the sidelines is fantastic. Well done!

U16 can be a really difficult age to handle! I'd estimate that 75% of my cards in youth football over the last three seasons have come at that age group! The abuse isn't your fault, don't let it get to you!

 

[Will Triffitt]

Don't let your head drop @showry !!! It sounds like you had a good season by your first sentence! My advice from when I have had games like that is to sit down and think about the decisions that you made that were wrong, go over them, use the law book. You can't change your past decisions but you can change the ones in the future. You will probably find that you got most of the decisions right. Any that you got wrong, learn what LOTG says and then you wont get it wrong again. As for the bench, that's a hard one!!! I'm awful at managing the bench and spectators, but make sure you know what you allow!

 

[Martiju]

This age can be quite a handful.

People are abusing the badge, not you - and it's a mixture of not understanding the laws, bias for one's team, and being generally appalling human beings. If the spectators were going nuts in a youth match then that explains why the team were so poorly behaved on the field. Unfortunately, these games are often highly unenjoyable, as the players are brought up in a culture of disrespect and a lack of responsibility for their actions.

This. I have to tell myself it's not personal sometimes, even though it can feel like it.