Can you still develop (after 5 years)?

Bear with me… I started late (really late, 39) and in 2018 I blew a promotion chance - got nervous on video, lost a match in front of the wrong people at the worst time. I was lucky enough to get to referee through Covid, and even though I “recovered” from the disappointment, it was a knock.

I think deep down I thought I’d peaked. As AR that was fine as I think the level of performance has been acceptable for me and consistently high for a long time (and reflected in great appointments, only held back by ageism and the glass ceiling). But with the whistle it’s been frustrating.

But… like all great Refchat movies… I think I just found something, a couple of extra gears. I used to be too nice - carrying the same “smiling policeman” persona from youth/womens into the mens cauldron. The last two months I’ve found a new voice - stronger, louder and I’ve stopped an old habit of forgiving too easily, warning too gently. It’s also a response to a comment from last season from our chief observer who said he wants stronger leadership from me. I’ve just shown far stronger authority from early and stuck with it - with no stone unturned - simple clarity in everything. I haven’t let anything slide.

It might not be a coincidence that I also got a new haircut and generally feel more confident.

Heated game last night. The commentary from the bench: “the referee’s coming hard”. I’m doing a lot of challenging (maybe L4 or just under equivalent) mens where some players talk better than they play, but the match is fast and hard.

Anyway, the difference is obvious to colleagues. What’s the point? Well firstly, my performances on the field have lifted just as the quality of my RefChat posts has nose dived! And then, well, I guess it’s that there are opportunities to improve, get advice, try stuff, we can keep improving.


After 4 heavy duty mens this last week, it’s 2nd tier u17 boys tomorrow with less experienced assistants. Different challenge. High quality, very well coached. The match expects technical precision and I can’t rely on the ARs, rather I have to lead them through it.

Quick update. Today’s u17 upped the difficulty again. And/but it was the kind of tense match with high expectations that I was able to take the same approach as the mens. The match started slow so without much whistling I made sure I was heard. A lot of midfield aerial balls got me moving.

Brilliant AR1 today. And then the home coach. Defensive mistakes and GK spill have cost them the match. After a goal he’s down the touchline complaining about (an obvious knee in the chest!) free kick just before. He’s on my diagonal so I approach and clearly usher him back to the technical area. He carries on ranting over me. Last year I’d have continued ushering. Now, I took his name and YC. Easy. Very clear for the parents and the rest of the match. Sounds obvious in hindsight, but I have been very generous previously!

Oh and I had a RefChat moment. I was about to end the match after a corner but the corners had been niggly. So I waited for the clearance to a neutral area and for the players to disperse before blowing up. Little things. Lots of little things.

Result of the boring match observation early in the week was a good mark in the absence of incidents to demonstrate more skills. I’ve been scheduled some crunch final matches for oct as our season ends but

santa sangria said:

Brilliant AR1 today. And then the home coach. Defensive mistakes and GK spill have cost them the match. After a goal he’s down the touchline complaining about (an obvious knee in the chest!) free kick just before. He’s on my diagonal so I approach and clearly usher him back to the technical area. He carries on ranting over me. Last year I’d have continued ushering. Now, I took his name and YC. Easy. Very clear for the parents and the rest of the match. Sounds obvious in hindsight, but I have been very generous previously!

Click to expand...

should this not have been a red?

deliberately leaving the technical area to:
• show dissent towards, or remonstrate with, a match official

Degnann said:

should this not have been a red?

deliberately leaving the technical area to:
• show dissent towards, or remonstrate with, a match official

Click to expand...

Easier said than done if you don't have a strong case. It's like dissent, if you class every disagreement by a player as dissent then you'd end up abandoning most games.
In this case you'd have to class the 'complain' and 'rant' as dissent and/or remonstration in the first place.
In general you'd have to be seen to be taking action, and if that action is ineffective you up the stakes (stepped approach, warning, yellow, red). In this case he did just that with the first two steps. Obviously in some cases you skip the warning and yellow and go straight to red, but it would have to be a strong enough case.

Degnann said:

should this not have been a red?

deliberately leaving the technical area to:
• show dissent towards, or remonstrate with, a match official

Click to expand...

Great point. There were not clearly marked technical areas. Initially he came down the line to reprimand his own team. Obvs you had to be there. His commentary to me was not aggressive. A red card would have been excessive and caused massive problems and complaints upstairs.

But great point.

one said:

Easier said than done if you don't have a strong case. It's like dissent, if you class every disagreement by a player as dissent then you'd end up abandoning most games.
In this case you'd have to class the 'complain' and 'rant' as dissent and/or remonstration in the first place.
In general you'd have to be seen to be taking action, and if that action is ineffective you up the stakes (stepped approach, warning, yellow, red). In this case he did just that with the first two steps. Obviously in some cases you skip the warning and yellow and go straight to red, but it would have to be a strong enough case.

Click to expand...

Reading only as the words are written, if hes down the touchline to complain then I think that warrants the red.

As Santa has said though, YHTBT.