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It was worth a try Brian.

Jack. I bet, if they're honest, someone has checked;)

Seriously? Have you checked?

I think you'll find that the Lotg Law 5 state that the ref must put the coin in the shorts pocket.

Sil. Firstly take no notice of the card count. It means nothing. You can be a brilliant ref and card no one or a crap ref and card everyone. Each game will be different and a good ref could just as easily card loads and a crap ref card none. Take no crap from players. If you choose to have...

My very first game. (See previous posts). Player pushed me as well as verbally abused me. I wasn't even really aware that I had been "assaulted" until a witnessing ref mentioned it to me. Whilst probably not an assault in the real sense if the word, I couldn't fault the FA. I had a phone call...

"I didn't know it was the ref. I just lashed out at someone who was grabbing hold of me. I was acting in self defence."

Paul, I was there as a spectator for the losing side. Yes I know there will appear to be an element of bias. For what it's worth, I often find myself defending a refs decision, and even on this occasion kept my mouth shut. II agree that the foulmouthed oik deserved his sending off. As I said...

Series of match incidents in a County Cup U13 game reffed by another. Before the start of the match the ref informed both coaches that he normally gives at least one penalty a game. Series of soft fouls given against reds. At half time reds coach asks ref why so many fouls are going against...

"It's".....grammar SWAT at your service;)

Do your multi report for the caution. Do your Red Card report for the SFP. Do a misconduct report for the verbals and aggressive stance after the red had been issued.

Red player takes quick free kick. Ball is still rolling when he takes it. Goalie shouts "Rolling ball", I shout "It's fine." I realise my error and blow for a retake just as red takes a shot. Goalie saves it. Cue argument from goalie that I can't do the foul again as he had saved the shot...

I'd forgotten about "how long ref". I had it asked three times in quick succession by three different players (both teams). By the third one I just said, "Ask blue number 3, he knows!".

"Handball". Every time it goes near a hand/arm, never mind touches one.

On the subject of Joking, another one I had, after blowing for a foul was "You're joking ref." I said to him, "If I was joking I would have said 'I say, I say, I say' just before I blew the whistle!"

You don't have to agree with my decisions but you do have to accept them. I think you'll find that I've been equally inconsistent to both sides.

My best one was at the end of a game. Player who had been riding me all game (should have carded, but for some reason didn't) walked up, shook my hand and said, "Not a good game today ref." I responded, "Don't be so hard on yourself mate, I didn't think you played that badly." Face was a picture.

Svenny. Your previous posts would indicate that you are one of those big boys;)

I get told it in my day job and I always reply "Yes. But it's not enough when you think about some of the idiots I have to deal with."

Don't blow for the end of the half or the end of the match until the ball is near you in the centre. You'll only end up having to walk and get it when they leave it after you blow up.