The Ref Stop

Already know the players

B

Ben Johns

New Member
Level 9 Referee
I have just been appointed to a game on Saturday and on team 'A' I know around six of the players. Some of them I coach/manage for their school team, and some of their siblings are good friends of mine. Obviously this means I know a lot of the parents, too. On team 'B' I don't know anyone, player or parent.
Would you accept the appointment and go ahead with refereeing the match? Do you think it would be easier or harder?
 
The Ref Stop
I have once removed myself from the list for an u13s national final, because one team was a local school and I had coached half of the lads the season before.

Ordinarily I wouldn't though. Coaching last season, the home team had to provide the ref for junior games, and often it was a brother or father of one of the players. I got my players to ALWAYS call them 'Ref' or 'Sir' during the game, even if it was their Dad. Whoever was reffing us did the same to them, 'player' or '#4'. More than anything it gives the impression of impartiality and 'learns the kids' how to approach officials.

I also ref my wife's team regularly, and once I had a coach huffing about 'bet your wife gets all the decisions', so I just said, "look, after the game, if you can point my wife out to me I'll buy you two beers". He got three wrong before pointing at the missus lol!

If you feel really uncomfortable with it, then talk to whoever gives you the appointments, I'm sure it's not the first time they have had the situation and there may well be a recognised policy.

Otherwise, talk to the players the way you would normally, call by number etc. You set the tone and they should follow.
 
It might be something I just have to get on with because within our own little 'football community' here I am pretty well known, captaining my team as well as my interleague ome as well as coaching/managing afew younger teams. I was only a bit unsure as I am so new to this mad world of refereeing!
Thanks for the advice matty!
 
As Matty said, speak to them and treat them as impartially as you can. Over time you will come to know other players on other teams (to talk to at least) and you wouldn't think twice about how you deal with them. I have reffed my son's side a couple of times but I bet the opposition couldn't tell which one he is. The danger is, of course, that you are a little harder on the team you know just to show how impartial you are!
 
It can work the other way too, one local OA team I referee sometimes has a full-back who also coaches a junior team in the league I coach in.

Last season, my team were playing in the national tournament over one weekend at end of season, this OA team were playing their final game of the season in the same town, same weekend, and had decided to make it a full weekend, end of season blowout for themselves.

That Sunday, my team of u10s were playing their hearts out, when about 25 hungover adult supporters turned up and started cheering them on!

Yup, one of the teams I ref were about 3hrs from home cheering on the team I coach. They were superb, although some of the parents were a little wary at furst, until one of my half time talks mentioned 'That bunch of guys? That's the Papamoa Div 1 squad here to support you, show them what your made of'

My lads finished third on goal difference
 
i'm always confident of getting the decisions wrong for both teams, from time to time, whoever's playing :)
 
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