The Ref Stop

Funny things players say #april15 edition

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SM

SM

The avuncular one
I am usually pretty good with my quick one liners. However, I got caught with this pearler mid week.

Away team give me the shout "sub next time the ball goes out ref!"

There is a few minutes of play and when the ball goes out I forget.

Play goes on and I am back up by the chap requesting the sub (who didn't shout again by the way) and he says "what happened there ref?"

"Sorry mate, memory is getting worse with age"

Smart ass in the crowd next to him

"I would say the same is happening with your eye sight ref!"

Touché. Well played sir.
 
The Ref Stop
I had a match yesterday, a college development side v an Irish touring team.
Part way through the 1st period the ball goes out for a throw in and one of the Irish players asks me "Ref are we playing 2 halves or 3 halves?" :p
 
I have come across that before in preseason, apparently it is quite common in some places where they have large squads to test out. Still doesn't sound right :)
 
HullRef said:
I had a match yesterday, a college development side v an Irish touring team.
Part way through the 1st period the ball goes out for a throw in and one of the Irish players asks me "Ref are we playing 2 halves or 3 halves?" :p
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Was that during the big half or the small half?
 
Had a fun one recently, a team who liked making a lit of roro subs but weren't good at asking me to do it. I actually reminded them before the game (under 8s so have told them a million times). They shoot and miss, goal kick which other team take quickly and score from, shouts of 'we were making a sub ref'. My response 'were you? You hadn't asked me so I had no idea!" Big grin from me! Shrug of shoulders from coach.
 
DanRicketts said:
under 8s so have told them a million times
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Although presumably the coach was an adult. Perhaps his team need to concede more goals in this way for him to finally get the message, otherwise his club will be paying £20 a pop every time he does it when they get to U11s (not wanting to get in to a debate about mandatory cautions...).
 
Crikey @xPositor I dont think id be booking for it at u11, probably not for a long time to be honest. The poor kids just do what the coach tells them to so I'd feel bad knicking their pocket money cos their coach is a plonker!
 
DanRicketts said:
Crikey @xPositor I dont think id be booking for it at u11, probably not for a long time to be honest. The poor kids just do what the coach tells them to so I'd feel bad knicking their pocket money cos their coach is a plonker!
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You wouldn't be knicking pocket money. In junior football the club have to pay. They can't fine the kids !
 
I've had the 3 halves scenario before, always during friendlies or at the U13 proyouth level in Scotland
 
DanRicketts said:
Crikey @xPositor I dont think id be booking for it at u11, probably not for a long time to be honest. The poor kids just do what the coach tells them to so I'd feel bad knicking their pocket money cos their coach is a plonker!
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That's the problem - you can't book the coach for doing this, you can only book the kids. And in booking the kids, you can guarantee that you will have the parents on the coach's back as well in future. As @Duncan Francis says, the clubs are not allowed to pass the fines on to the kids, it has to be paid by the club, so you're not taking their pocket money :)
 
Had a good one from a manager the other day. Reds v blue, red attacker in the 2nd minute closing down a defender and flies into a challenge, caught the defender late, yellow card all day. Call him over and get the book out. The red manager shouts "but thats his first tackle, you cant book anyone for their first tackle."
 
One of my favorites is when you give a free kick on the edge of the "D" ....(thats the Penalty Arc before i get pulled up on my use of proper terminology ) and you tell the players to line up on the penalty spot .....and the still argue that its never 10 yards ref :D does make me chuckle
 
I guess that most players have only ever been told where to stand for a penalty and have never been told the reason why.
 
One I was proud of...
Keeper ran 50 yards to catch me up to ask me why I had given an offside decision.
On the basis that he had run so far in the middle of the game, I answered that I was going to caution him for dissent (he had been on my case all game).
He replied : "You can't do that, I'm the Captain!!"
I replied : "I don't care if you are the Brigadier, you're in the book!!"
I at least let him get back into goal before I restarted the play.
 
I would have been tempted to not book him and just play on without waiting or him to get back to his area.

He wouldn't do that again in a hurry!!
 
I had a player who had given everybody bits of mouth throughout the game - me, his own players, opposition, the lot.

I gave a free kick on the halfway line against his mate and he was about to chirp up again.

Bored with him I stared at him, waved him away, and said loudly 'shut up and go away'.

Cue puppy dog eyes and 'but I haven't said anything ref?'

I said 'then consider yourself a tenner richer than you would have been' followed by perfectly timed whistle blow and rapidly taken free kick to leave him on the halfway line looking puzzled with his hand on his hips with the game going on around him.
 
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