Hi folks
I'm quite heartbroken at the moment because of several things.
Refereeing is my clear no 1 passion in my life and I've devoted hours of every day for the last couple years to reach my goal of reaching the top one day. Unfortunately there are some things that just havent worked out
Most importantly, my goal for this season was to (finally) get into the referee academy and I know I'm a better (and higher level) ref than many of the lads there. The problem is that the most dedicated and highly rated referee in the group really hates me and has been both bullying me face to face and talking cr*p to his friends in the group about me. He is also good friends with the head of the academy and I suspect that's the reason why I wasn't admitted, and this was the third year in a row.
My assessments have been mostly always very good with a few average or slightly below average ones, and I'm often entrusted with high-risk or competitive games, particularly as an AR.
Then this weekend I had a game as AR with the referee I mentioned and his best friend. I thought long and hard about not doing it but considering that it was a big game with an "important" assessor I decided to go ahead with it. It was a terrible experience, from the time we got there they were having fun at my expense, during warm-up it got a lot worse and personal, they kept giving me sick reasons for why I wasn't in the academy and why "nobody liked me" etc. I was on the verge of crying so I went back into the changing room and told the assessor that I was not running the line today to a referee who keeps insulting and making fun of me. The assessor told me I had to go ahead with the game and rather complain to my FA if I couldn't "accept some banter". I almost snapped back at him, I was on the verge of crying, but I felt I couldn't pull out so I went out there and ran the line.
During the game there were several situations with poor cooperation between me and the referee, probably stemming from the fact that I had absolutely no trust in him at all. Most of the other stuff went reasonably well.
In the debrief the referee talked about how little help he had got from me and how bad I was. The observer agreed and an argument ensued, I tried to tell how I felt, the assessor said I was unprofessional and my conduct before the game was improper, and that "I don't know what your intentions were with telling me that, but you don't stab a colleague in the back in the way you did". I was outraged, but I was outnumbered so I felt it was best to leave it there.
When I got home I cried all night, I feel so helpless, and I keep wondering what to do. Refereeing literally is my life and even though I am strongly contemplating quitting I really feel I can't let the haters win. Only thing is that I am terrified of reporting this to my FA as the referee in question is by far the golden boy of everyone, he's everyone's favorite referee and perhaps the FA's biggest talent. If I report it I am so scared it is going to backfire massively...
I'm quite heartbroken at the moment because of several things.
Refereeing is my clear no 1 passion in my life and I've devoted hours of every day for the last couple years to reach my goal of reaching the top one day. Unfortunately there are some things that just havent worked out
Most importantly, my goal for this season was to (finally) get into the referee academy and I know I'm a better (and higher level) ref than many of the lads there. The problem is that the most dedicated and highly rated referee in the group really hates me and has been both bullying me face to face and talking cr*p to his friends in the group about me. He is also good friends with the head of the academy and I suspect that's the reason why I wasn't admitted, and this was the third year in a row.
My assessments have been mostly always very good with a few average or slightly below average ones, and I'm often entrusted with high-risk or competitive games, particularly as an AR.
Then this weekend I had a game as AR with the referee I mentioned and his best friend. I thought long and hard about not doing it but considering that it was a big game with an "important" assessor I decided to go ahead with it. It was a terrible experience, from the time we got there they were having fun at my expense, during warm-up it got a lot worse and personal, they kept giving me sick reasons for why I wasn't in the academy and why "nobody liked me" etc. I was on the verge of crying so I went back into the changing room and told the assessor that I was not running the line today to a referee who keeps insulting and making fun of me. The assessor told me I had to go ahead with the game and rather complain to my FA if I couldn't "accept some banter". I almost snapped back at him, I was on the verge of crying, but I felt I couldn't pull out so I went out there and ran the line.
During the game there were several situations with poor cooperation between me and the referee, probably stemming from the fact that I had absolutely no trust in him at all. Most of the other stuff went reasonably well.
In the debrief the referee talked about how little help he had got from me and how bad I was. The observer agreed and an argument ensued, I tried to tell how I felt, the assessor said I was unprofessional and my conduct before the game was improper, and that "I don't know what your intentions were with telling me that, but you don't stab a colleague in the back in the way you did". I was outraged, but I was outnumbered so I felt it was best to leave it there.
When I got home I cried all night, I feel so helpless, and I keep wondering what to do. Refereeing literally is my life and even though I am strongly contemplating quitting I really feel I can't let the haters win. Only thing is that I am terrified of reporting this to my FA as the referee in question is by far the golden boy of everyone, he's everyone's favorite referee and perhaps the FA's biggest talent. If I report it I am so scared it is going to backfire massively...