A&H

Match brawl

O

Ori

Active Member
So a game which really wasn’t nasty in any way turned sour very quickly.
Away team had. 2-0 lead (very lucky goals and we’re camped in their own half the entire game)

Anyway. Home team score to make it 2-1 with 20 mins to go. Obviously they want a quick kick off, but away player holds onto the ball and refuses to let it go. I blow my whistle and start to head over there, but then punches start flying. I reckon 4 players were involved and others trying to break them apart. I could only identify 2 of them. (1 from each side) and dished out the reds.
I wish I had a voice recorder or body cam for such situations.
Play restarts and I’ve calmed things down.
Home team score again and late on score a winner.

Had to hand out another red for away player giving me abuse after the game because they assume I got a handball in the middle of the park wrong. (I may have done, but irrelevant). Got given a fake name.

I love the accusation of bias, when I disallowed 2 goals for the home team for a foul on the keeper. So home crowd wasn’t happy with me!

Home team escorted me to my car as away team were a little threatening and as I drove off had players shouting abuse at me.

So that’s in the report.

On a separate note of safeguarding……

Incident during the match where one of the away players little brother on far side of the pitch kicked the ball away further to prevent home team taking a quick throw. I believe, but didn’t hear it myself that the home player swore at him. The parents then started effing and blinding at him. I stopped the game and I said to them, that they are adults and shouldn’t react. They protested that should be allowed to react and I said I don’t care. Adults don’t swear at children!
Listening to the away coach swear at his players is also concerning. Proper salty language.
Seeing as I’m responsible for these children, I have mentioned this through the channels.
Am I wrong?
 
The Referee Store
Ori said:
So a game which really wasn’t nasty in any way turned sour very quickly.
Away team had. 2-0 lead (very lucky goals and we’re camped in their own half the entire game)

Anyway. Home team score to make it 2-1 with 20 mins to go. Obviously they want a quick kick off, but away player holds onto the ball and refuses to let it go. I blow my whistle and start to head over there, but then punches start flying. I reckon 4 players were involved and others trying to break them apart. I could only identify 2 of them. (1 from each side) and dished out the reds.
I wish I had a voice recorder or body cam for such situations.
Play restarts and I’ve calmed things down.
Home team score again and late on score a winner.

Had to hand out another red for away player giving me abuse after the game because they assume I got a handball in the middle of the park wrong. (I may have done, but irrelevant). Got given a fake name.

I love the accusation of bias, when I disallowed 2 goals for the home team for a foul on the keeper. So home crowd wasn’t happy with me!

Home team escorted me to my car as away team were a little threatening and as I drove off had players shouting abuse at me.

So that’s in the report.

On a separate note of safeguarding……

Incident during the match where one of the away players little brother on far side of the pitch kicked the ball away further to prevent home team taking a quick throw. I believe, but didn’t hear it myself that the home player swore at him. The parents then started effing and blinding at him. I stopped the game and I said to them, that they are adults and shouldn’t react. They protested that should be allowed to react and I said I don’t care. Adults don’t swear at children!
Listening to the away coach swear at his players is also concerning. Proper salty language.
Seeing as I’m responsible for these children, I have mentioned this through the channels.
Am I wrong?
Click to expand...
Only thing I’d say is don’t engage with parents or fans, always tell the manager to have a word first, then say to the manager if one or two needs to leave, ultimate last step is abandon.

Definitely report the safeguarding concerns
 
OnlyUseMeWhistle said:
Only thing I’d say is don’t engage with parents or fans, always tell the manager to have a word first, then say to the manager if one or two needs to leave, ultimate last step is abandon.

Definitely report the safeguarding concerns
Click to expand...
I agree with you, but it was on the other side of the pitch and I had to deal with it. I thought they were going to thump the kid.
 
Ori said:
Incident during the match where one of the away players little brother on far side of the pitch kicked the ball away further to prevent home team taking a quick throw. I believe, but didn’t hear it myself that the home player swore at him. The parents then started effing and blinding at him. I stopped the game and I said to them, that they are adults and shouldn’t react. They protested that should be allowed to react and I said I don’t care. Adults don’t swear at children!
Listening to the away coach swear at his players is also concerning. Proper salty language.
Seeing as I’m responsible for these children, I have mentioned this through the channels.
Am I wrong?
Click to expand...
I’m on the other side of the ponds, so take with a grain of salt. You don’t mention age of the players here, but it in the youth matches I do, any adult who swears at a kid is leaving. Period. I‘m going to the coach and telling the coach that that person (or people) from his side need to leave immediately. If the coach pushes back (“I can’t make them leave, they won‘t listen to me” or whatever), the answer is that’s a shame, because if they don’t leave right now, I don’t have any choice but to abandon the game and report the behavior. (Most of the games I do have teams on opposite touchlines, with the parents required to be on that same touchline. That gives me the added benefit of the other parents encouraging the person tomleave so the game isn’t ended.) For my AYSO games, also getting the names of the parents from the coach and reporting to the league, which will issue a ban to the parents and notice that if they can’t behave at games, their child won’t be welcomed back next year.
 
Ori said:
Listening to the away coach swear at his players is also concerning. Proper salty language.
Click to expand...

Probably need a bit more context here - age group is really important. If they’re older teens they can take a bit of swearing, they all do it themselves - as long as it isn’t offensive, insulting or abusive. If they’re younger kids/children, then it’s certainly a problem. I would also refrain from making comment on or disciplining anything you overhear at team talks (I get the sense this is a grassroots game with no changing rooms), and instead report it as a safeguarding issue after the game to appropriate authorities.
 
SammyT5 said:
Probably need a bit more context here - age group is really important. If they’re older teens they can take a bit of swearing, they all do it themselves - as long as it isn’t offensive, insulting or abusive. If they’re younger kids/children, then it’s certainly a problem. I would also refrain from making comment on or disciplining anything you overhear at team talks (I get the sense this is a grassroots game with no changing rooms), and instead report it as a safeguarding issue after the game to appropriate authorities.
Click to expand...
So u18 which in the thisnleague is u17 too.
So 16-17 year olds at this stage of the season.

I agree about coach. However our guidelines on safeguarding are clear on this and it is considered abusive behaviour.

As for parents on far side of the pitch swearing at a child and potentially erupting into a more dangerous situation. I had to deal with it there and then……in my opinion obviously. My concern was a parent hitting the child or other players getting involved. “Don’t you say that to my dad” etc…….which I have seen happen at an u16 game when a lino dad decided to swear at one of the kids and oh that’s a whole different story. ;)
 
Ori said:
So u18 which in the thisnleague is u17 too.
So 16-17 year olds at this stage of the season.

I agree about coach. However our guidelines on safeguarding are clear on this and it is considered abusive behaviour.

As for parents on far side of the pitch swearing at a child and potentially erupting into a more dangerous situation. I had to deal with it there and then……in my opinion obviously. My concern was a parent hitting the child or other players getting involved. “Don’t you say that to my dad” etc…….which I have seen happen at an u16 game when a lino dad decided to swear at one of the kids and oh that’s a whole different story. ;)
Click to expand...

Yes, I think the parents/spectators is a more pressing issue. As others have said in theory it’s better to speak to a manager and get them to sort it, but we all know that sometimes you have to take immediate action. Only you could assess the immediate risk to player safety and you might well have diffused a tasty situation.
 
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Going back to the brawl though. Any tips for noting all players involved?
I try and keep my eye on it, but it’s a brawl and so many involved it’s hard to keep track.
 
It’s just such a difficult one I think. I just try to get as many of them as I can. On a couple of occasions I’ve had my notebook out and noted down numbers as the incident is happening, but that’s a challenge in itself. If your CARs seem to be reasonable and honest it also doesn’t do any harm to confirm things with them, (eg, ”Did you see the number of the player that punched red number 9?”)
 
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Would also just add that whilst it is nice to get everything exactly right in such a scenario, doing what you did and sending a couple of players off is a really good way of diffusing the tension. Better to be 100% on a red than wrongly send a player off.
 
SammyT5 said:
Would also just add that whilst it is nice to get everything exactly right in such a scenario, doing what you did and sending a couple of players off is a really good way of diffusing the tension. Better to be 100% on a red than wrongly send a player off.
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My thoughts exactly and thank you.

I felt bad for the player I caught who fought back, but once you throw a punch, you leave me no choice.
His parents aren’t pleased I am told….(with him…..not me)
 
Ori said:
Going back to the brawl though. Any tips for noting all players involved?
I try and keep my eye on it, but it’s a brawl and so many involved it’s hard to keep track.
Click to expand...
As you watch what’s going on, say numbers out loud. That reinforces them in your mind and helps you remember them. However if there are a lot and you’re on your own it’s hard.
The main ones to try to get are:
the one who started it
the one who retaliated
if possible anyone who runs 40 yards to get involved. Fortunately these are normally wearing a different colour to the rest of their team!
 
First of all well done for showing the reds and writing everything in your report.

One point of clarity though. You're not "responsible for these children". The health and safety of everyone at that match is your number one priority but that is different than being responsible for the children playing. Apply the laws and report any concerns regarding the well known areas such as safeguarding, inclusion etc. But responsible for the children.....Nope. Many referees are children themselves.
 
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Am I the only person here in a volatile game asking manager to have little brother assuming he’s not like 5 he knows what he’s doing and calms the situation dead.
 
Southerner In The North said:
Am I the only person here in a volatile game asking manager to have little brother assuming he’s not like 5 he knows what he’s doing and calms the situation dead.
Click to expand...
Manager was the type who stokes the fire. The one who constantly questions every decision you make and that filters to the players.

I find that the managers who never blame the ref have the best behaved team.

Example. I disallowed a goal for the home team for a push on the keeper. Yes player was frustrated, but he never said a word to me and at the end of the match thanked me like a professional.
 
Ori said:
Manager was the type who stokes the fire. The one who constantly questions every decision you make and that filters to the players.

I find that the managers who never blame the ref have the best behaved team.

Example. I disallowed a goal for the home team for a push on the keeper. Yes player was frustrated, but he never said a word to me and at the end of the match thanked me like a professional.
Click to expand...
Yellow card him then. Remember he doesn't need to swear, if he doesn't behave in a responsible manner that is enough for a caution, then if he still doesn't behave in a responsible manner he's gone.

I've had several occasions where I've binned a gobby manner and the behaviour of his team has improved markedly after it.
 
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