A&H

Open Age Shouting At Players

Anthony

Anthony

Active Member
Level 5 Referee
Occasionally out of frustration I find myself shouting at a player when trying to get something through to them. I definitely start every match calm, and I definitely use a stepped approach. What I find is a particular player is not changing, perhaps I should caution them earlier rather than hoping they improve.
When I shout they complain that I should not speak to them like that. No matter what my comeback, e.g "Oh its Ok for you to have been shouting at me for the last x minutes" or " I have asked you nicely and you haven't listened" I do feel I have over reacted, potentially losing match control and by shouting I am being reduced to their level. All in all I do not want to shout but I get very frustrated by a players constant moaning, or trying to referee the game. I do involve the Captains where possible to assist but sometimes they are as much use as a chocolate tea pot.
I feel I am letting myself down. Should I caution earlier and avoid the frustration that leads to me shouting when they do not improve their ways?
It is not at every match but when it happens I know there must be a better way.
 
The Referee Store
You shouldn't really be shouting at them,they will get the impression you are losing control. If it warrants a quiet word the first time then fine,then any repitition will be YC or RC whatever is appropriate.Keep match control and discipline.
 
Anthony said:
Occasionally out of frustration I find myself shouting at a player when trying to get something through to them. I definitely start every match calm, and I definitely use a stepped approach. What I find is a particular player is not changing, perhaps I should caution them earlier rather than hoping they improve.
When I shout they complain that I should not speak to them like that. No matter what my comeback, e.g "Oh its Ok for you to have been shouting at me for the last x minutes" or " I have asked you nicely and you haven't listened" I do feel I have over reacted, potentially losing match control and by shouting I am being reduced to their level. All in all I do not want to shout but I get very frustrated by a players constant moaning, or trying to referee the game. I do involve the Captains where possible to assist but sometimes they are as much use as a chocolate tea pot.
I feel I am letting myself down. Should I caution earlier and avoid the frustration that leads to me shouting when they do not improve their ways?
It is not at every match but when it happens I know there must be a better way.
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I know exactly what you mean. It is the constant nagging that gets to me as well, which sometimes make me raise my voice and lose control. When I finally have had it and book them I go "YOU! GET OVER HERE, NOW. HERE! ALL THE WAY OVER HERE". It just happens, and after the match I hate myself for it. I don't accomplish anything by raising my voice. I really should just stay calm, call them over and wait for them to come. Tell them I've had it, and book them. I will try to improve this part of my game.
 
I tend to stay fairly calm during my games and then ring my wife on the way home and shout at her! :mad: She is a star for putting up with my rants :):cool:
 
Use hand gestures to beckon him over that way everybody can see whats happening and they know what to expect if their time comes.
Visually shows you are in control, good firm tone (not shouting) in your voice.Part of my talk to the team whilst checking their studs "No swearing,or arguing at me if you do you will earn yourself a yellow card.As i previously stated in another post i never interact (socially as it were) with the players in any discussion unless its an issue with the game..... Familiarity breeds contempt....
 
I'll only shout at a player to call them over. I try not to lose my cool as think it does look like your losing the match control. Plus I much rather take a fairly patronising approach and talking to players like little children if they are acting like it! That said it can be hard keeping it together when players are always on your back!
 
The only time I shout at players is if they have handbags so that it don't lead any further and usually it stops it there an then
 
Mike -I agree with the majority of what you said - our hands are a valuable and underused tool. My opinion however is that I personally wouldn't tell players at the begginning that arguing/swearing will earn yellow card. Simply as it sets yourself up for loss of match control if you don't caution every argument/swearing incident. You know what players are like... "oi ref he just swore, you said you would yellow him for that... he's already had a yellow... he should be off..". - As we all know, each scenario has multiple factors (Tone, volume, decision made, body language) which we base our decisions on.

I found myself raise my voice on saturday, which shocked me. I normally am quite good at staying calm so I took it as a personal indicator that I hadn't controlled this player earlier - in hindsight should have been cautioned. Room for improvement! I think for me, I need a better stepped stratergy is needed, i find sometimes I am a little adhoc - Hopefiully i will become more consistent by doing so.
 
Cheshire Ref said:
I tend to stay fairly calm during my games and then ring my wife on the way home and shout at her! :mad: She is a star for putting up with my rants :):cool:
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My better half is a star as she always listens and never judges. I always have a cuddle with the dog (not to be confused with the better half) which is particularly sad as it always reminds me of a very touching advert for a dog rescue service with a ref being horribly abused by players then returning home to his ever listening non judgemental pet.... OMG I am getting my other half and the dog confused. Note to self, stop buying dog flowers and wife treats.
 
Gary Milton said:
Mike -I agree with the majority of what you said - our hands are a valuable and underused tool. My opinion however is that I personally wouldn't tell players at the begginning that arguing/swearing will earn yellow card. Simply as it sets yourself up for loss of match control if you don't caution every argument/swearing incident. You know what players are like... "oi ref he just swore, you said you would yellow him for that... he's already had a yellow... he should be off..". - As we all know, each scenario has multiple factors (Tone, volume, decision made, body language) which we base our decisions on.

I found myself raise my voice on saturday, which shocked me. I normally am quite good at staying calm so I took it as a personal indicator that I hadn't controlled this player earlier - in hindsight should have been cautioned. Room for improvement! I think for me, I need a better stepped stratergy is needed, i find sometimes I am a little adhoc - Hopefiully i will become more consistent by doing so.
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Good point...noted duly
 
A really good tip is to learn to speak in a firm manner. Richard Burton was quite famous for his diction, which was created by a family friend forcing him to communicate over 50 yards or so, but without shouting. I believe he did it in his native Wales?
 
Need to have a difference between shouting and raising of the voice to get a players attention

I can't stand shouting - it makes you look like a prize tool and think you're their teacher/parent rather then a referee
 
I shouted at a player once ... F-bombed him too ... Everyone heard it (and told me they heard it) ... Never again ... Agree with @Charlie Jones - it was very poor.
 
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