The "help get Herts home" thread

[HertsFinest]

Evening gents, welcome to the "help stop HF going insane as he watches his life slip away from him on the A10" thread

I am stuck in traffic on a closed road 4 miles from the accident on the more beautiful stretch of the A10 (pretty sure I saw a dandelion on the central reservation) and looks like I'm in standstill for a good 6 hours.

Literally sitting on central res barrier for last half hour and not moved an inch... So I of course turned to ref chat for some entertainment and it's like a ghost town.

Now to get me home with some sanity left, let's play a game. 20 words maximum each, in turn, let's tell a story of match day, no particular place or teams, let's see where it goes.

I'll start it off

HF parks his car in the gravel car park and approaches the changing rooms as he spots...

 

[Smudger]

A different ref that has been appointed to the same game. Oh dear what are we going to do now

 

[DanCohen17]

HF slowly walks up to the other ref and approaches him in an overly aggressive manner...

 

[SM]

that even Mr t would have been proud of in rocky 2.

 

[HRW]

*sucking noise through teeth* "what d'ya fink yar doing? dis is mii game, so ise fink ya best be skippin' blood" HF questions him

 

[HertsFinest]

"I have never heard somebody from Hertfordshire talk like that" says the gate crasher. "You must be a referee from east London on an exchange programme" he continues

 

[jack.prescott]

"If you fink you're doin this game you've got another fing comin sunshine!" Says HF in an infuriated manner

 

[DanCohen17]

"Nah blad", replies HF. "I is from way worse dan dat East London ting, I is from..."

 

[SM]

Newport innit. You ain't never seen crazy mofo like me

 

[RegalRef]

Apart from that night you went round Glasgow with Beezer and woke up in bed with Susan Boyle.Naked.

 

[SM]

Slathered in peanut butter with a red lipstick kiss on our bottom.happy days.

 

[HertsFinest]

(how the masses digress!)

The gate crasher ref spots a prison charity game starting on the adjacent pitch without a referee to do the game, he suggests....

 

[RegalRef]

You check your car's locked as its a prison game.While you do.....

 

[DanCohen17]

(how the masses digress!)

The gate crasher ref spots a prison charity game starting on the adjacent pitch without a referee to do the game, he suggests....

That HF goes and does that game as 'gate crasher ref' is only 16!
HF kisses his teeth and then...

 

[HullRef]

Says "what the heck it will be a challenge, I'll do it". HF does a kit check and says...

 

[SM]

why are none of you wearing any! Get some kit on now! Naked football is not in the LOTG!

 

[jack.prescott]

The prison players begin to complain that none of them have matching prison uniforms

 

[HRW]

But HF agrees to waive the LOAF (no change there) as long as he can try the handcuffs ....

HF you home yet or still sat in your car?