I understand that it can be difficult and seem inconsistent to people who grew up in a different era with different standards. People do exist who honestly believe that this stuff should be obvious, and that therefore by being offensive, you're actively choosing to ignore modern standards and be a ****. And then again to turn it back around, it's obviously frustrating to be someone who's upholding the moral standard they're used to and then being told they're a **** for doing so.You can be discriminatory about any number of things. It seems absolutely anything can be offensive these days. My whiteness and the apparent privilege that comes with it, seems to be offensive to a growing number of ‘wokes’ these days. Clear racism, but again it’s practically accepted- which is outrageous. But make a joke about a welsh fella and sheep and you are committing a criminal offence! See how ridiculous it is?
Using your example, person B can mock person A for being bald instead. Where does it end? Do we hand person B out to dry too? Who’s to say person B would’ve have found it funny? I’ve joked to friends who were no longer in one piece, about that fact. No different than them taking the piss out of me for any number of reasons in that circumstance.
The end , it seems to me, is the episode of the twighlight zone where everybody has to think happy thoughts!
BM has made a comment in private, sounds like it’s in bad taste, it’s a quiet word in my book.
Honestly, there is an easy answer to this, the list of "Protected Characteristics" https://www.equalityhumanrights.com/en/equality-act/protected-characteristics. And as referees, we really should know this list off the top of our heads: comments that would otherwise be OK can be considered OFFINABUS purely because they include this characteristics, and any OFFINABUS along those lines immediately requires extra reports as well as the standard processes. And just as a person (ie. not a referee), this acts as a pretty good guide - if you're going to make a joke about something on that list, you've got to be pretty confident you're pitching it correctly, and prepared for pushback if you get it wrong.
Context is important of course - if I turn up to a Jimmy Carr gig and then kick off about certain jokes, then it's me that's the arsehole, not the guy on stage who's act is explicitly about pushing boundaries. But conversely, if I turn up to play a game of football with my mates, it should be a space where I don't have to worry about racism or any of the other assorted -phobias on that list. Why should it be on me to put up with abuse just because I want to enjoy being part of a game of football? And as referees, we've chosen to put ourselves in a position where we need to be guardians of that particular safe space - if you're not willing to do that, I'd honestly question if you're prepared to do your job as a referee.