A&H

Open Age Had enough mid game and walked off

M

Midds100

New Member
Level 7 Referee
Refing my match, a friendly match. Second half, gave an offside when the ball went into the net, black team goes crazy, as apparently another defender was on the line. No linesman, only have one look, never going to be in the best position for an offside and not seen the second player, so gave the offside, after a bit of ping pong in the goal area. They was already 2goals up. Then after that incident, I heard the captain of the blacks, who was one of those appealing for the goal to be awarded say to a teammate, he didn't see it. Then a few minutes later, ball cleared from the penalty area, I follow the ball watching it as the play had moved towards the halfway line. I hear raised voices behind me, where there was an altercation/argument, by the time I'd seen this, it was clearing up with players walking away to get on with things, turn my head back to play, and see the ball has gone out of play, and the black team players moaning about how I didn't see it. I don't have eyes in the back of my head. I snapped, threw my whistle at the player, threw my watches too the floor, got the bag/coat and went home.

It was a friendly, and not even a bad game, a couple of lunges early on against the black team, gave a free kick, nothing worthy of a caution. I wish it was more like rugby, where you can't speak to the ref. If they had enough players to provide a linesman, the first incident wouldn't have been an incident and the second one would not of been a problem.
 
The Referee Store
"Just snapped"?

How have your games gone recently? Is this a build up of frustrations in previous games or just this one?

Doesn't sound like anything out of the ordinary in this game to warrant such a reaction from yourself which is why I wonder if this has been building a while?
 
Recent games, I've not had any for a while, had a few called off, and the Christmas break. But they haven't been too bad. I've changed leagues from last season and it's a much easier league, this friendly was two teams one which was in the old league (the team I had problems with). I've had problems with them before, they're very vocal and I've sent off / cautioned them in previous matches.

I think it was the two incidents/no linesman both happening on top and I had enough. Maybe I should have cautioned a few on the offside I gave. I was frustrated at being moaned at something that happened behind me that i couldn't of seen and couldn't of done anything about as I was facing play. And the fact that straight after the offside one of the players saying they didn't see if it was offside.

It's a team that whinge constantly, but nothing worth of doesn't.
 
It was an impressive reaction by me, you know when a sent off player has lost it and being held back and pulled away by their players, the home side that were the good team today were like that, holding me from getting back to my car, whilst their manager hobbled over.
 
Sorry to say but this sounds like every week - club assistants are ****, we get some calls wrong, players moan, we try our best. For me the players moaning is just part of the game (as long as it's relatively respectful and doesnte scalate). If I'm honest, though you were clearly trying your best, and the CAR let you down (both times) it seems on these two incidents you were wrong (we all do it!) - can't blame the players too much for having a bit of a go. As @NERef said maybe this is the build up of a few things?

Sorry you had a rough time today. I had a shocker last week and then two great matches this weekend...it seems to go that way.
 
I didn't know who the away team would be. Occasionally the home team sees if I can do a friendly for them
 
Yeah, one of the home team picked my watches/whistle up and gave to me. I blew a gasket.

WilliamD, I didn't say club assistants are *#*#, there were no club assistants. I thought it was offside so gave it as offside. Maybe I should have just gave the goal! I don't think I got it wrong, it looked offside. Also I don't know what CAR stands for??
I should of cautioned after the offside I gave, or spoke to the captain. Maybe it's just me when players complain about me missing something that was clearly behind me and not near the play, if I've missed something in front of me I can accept getting moaned at.

I'm frustrated that it was an alright game before hand, not a lot happening. The team I had my paddy at, were complaining about being kicked, but I hadn't seen any of that, fairly clean game, and I've never known the home team to be kickers before.
 
It doesn't have to have been previous matches, could just be a build up of life in general, stress at work for example.

Your reaction sounds a bit extreme given the description of the match being alright to that point. Don't worry about it now it's done, just relax and try and enjoy what's left of the weekend.
 
I think that as it was a friendly, I was too, lax and not wanting to card people. I'll probably laugh about it tomorrow.
IF I could switch to just doing lines I would.
 
Did you give them any warnings? Work the stepped approach? Issue any cautions etc?
 
DB said:
Did you give them any warnings? Work the stepped approach? Issue any cautions etc?
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I would love to say I did, but I didn't. And this is why I should have. Didn't really need anything in the first half. The second half was a different story, all NINE minutes of it. It would have broke up play for a bit. Rather than one incident steam rolling into the next.
 
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you.
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too...

Difficult skills to master, but ones that will make you a very good referee once done so
 
you made a few mistakes then lost the plot, but the good thing is already now you have calmed down a bit you are identifying your mistakes, thats the important thing use this horrible game as a learning experience, as i said have a break you will come back a better referee
 
I personally wouldn't have thrown the towel in. Go with your training first. Use the methods that you have been taught and then if they continue being pillocks, walk away (if you have to). For me, to just throw the whistle and watches down just seems a bit petulant and unnecessary. If you are going to progress as a referee you have to learn to deal with situations like this; you can't just throw a wobbly and walk off.

Sometimes, I feel like walking off. Football does that to you, along with some of the morons playing it.

You felt it necessary to walk off and that is up to you. Personally, I'd advise against it.
 
Get back in the saddle as soon as you can.

Had a great day ref-ing some trial games on Friday, then come 4pm yesterday I was all for packing it in - I don't think my game was as bad as yours but the bu&&ers got me down (in my case, the spectators not the players). Had a game today - both sides wanted to win, and played as such, but all - players, managers & spectators - appreciative of my efforts and accepted my inevitable errors as just that: human mistakes. I needed that game - had I allowed yesterday's game to dwell on my mind for an extended period of time it would have got harder and harder to convince myself it was worth it.

What has happened today has happened, you can't change that now. Try and get yourself another fixture as soon as possible so that becomes your most recent game. But yeah, at the end of the day, it's only a game of football. You shouldn't have to tolerate cr@p. Move on (easier said than done, I know!)
 
Midds100 said:
I didn't know who the away team would be. Occasionally the home team sees if I can do a friendly for them
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Lesson to learn mate - always ask whomever is arranging the "friendly" who the opposing team is. Just in case you get teams you have history with.

Love the idea of you throwing your whistle and watches! Must have been funny for spectators as that isn't something you see everyday. :D

Chin up though fella. We all have moments of madness. Back on the horse when your ready. Better days are around the corner.
 
We all have those days

Refereed some veterans the other day on an anniversary of a particularly painful event. Shouldn't have taken the appointment, my mind was elsewhere. Everything the players did and said annoyed me. Considered jacking it after about 5 minutes, it was going to be one of those nights. Refereed it on autopilot, rose above the usual crap -the training kicks in and got through it. Onto the next one. Keep going
 
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