3rd Game on the Line, Self Doubt After Games

[Young173]

Had my 3rd game on the line today after a 7 year break, and I had never done adults before this.

I am thoroughly enjoying it but after each game I doubt decisions I made even though at the time I was certain it was right, is this normal? Also, taking a bit of flak from teams after the last 2 games, today's was from the losing team and last weeks was from a team who lost their chance of winning the league. This doubt is putting me off taking a middle as I don't feel I'm ready.

If any one has any tips it would certainly be appreciated.

 

[es1]

I always play decisions over in my head

Sent someone off for violent conduct last week I've known for 20 odd years. Lots of suggestions the player exaggerated/took a dive. I'm sure I got it right but doesn't stop me thinking about it and what I could have done better at the time to perhaps get into a better position

You need to have the confidence in yourself to move on from the decision during the game and then into your next game too.

 

[Wolf_Ref]

Had my 3rd game on the line today after a 7 year break, and I had never done adults before this.

I am thoroughly enjoying it but after each game I doubt decisions I made even though at the time I was certain it was right, is this normal? Also, taking a bit of flak from teams after the last 2 games, today's was from the losing team and last weeks was from a team who lost their chance of winning the league. This doubt is putting me off taking a middle as I don't feel I'm ready.

If any one has any tips it would certainly be appreciated.

The only way to get better is to make mistakes and learn from them.

Even as a 34 year old, it can be daunting doing a middle, but the only way to get better is to do the game, and then think back and think about your decisions, and as @es1 said, think about what you could have done better etc.

Perfect examples from this weekend:

Yesterday:
1. I let the away skipper get away with too much dissent, to the point that I really opened myself up for verbal agro - luckily it didn't boil over, but it is one of those, that I should have managed it better earlier. (I did eventually caution the away manager!)
2. Away team want a penalty, problem was that there were so many bodies, 3 tackles (fair) and I had view blocked so was unable to see a potential foul (if I don't see it, I cannot give it). The issue with not having neutral ARs!

Today:
Questioning 2x penalty shouts. There were 3 all together:

Penalty incident #1: Yellow Attacker gets on goal side of defender, defender slides in through the legs, making the foul before contact with the ball - penalty. In my opinion, the defender wouldn't have gotten the ball had he not have gone through the legs. However in hindsight, I could have had a more angled view perhaps next time...
Penalty incident #2: Yellow Attacker is brought down in the box - clearly taken out - no questions.
Penalty incident #3: Blue Attacker gets into yellow box. Yellow defender goes around the side and makes clean contact with the ball with the follow through bringing their player down - I cut the grass for appeals as imo it was fair.

I think when you stop questioning your decisions and stop trying to improve, that is the time to stop refereeing...

 

[Big Cat]

If I find myself ruminating over a decision for some time after a game, it's occurred to me that I'm trying to justify in my mind that I got it right. Once I notice this thought process is stuck in a cycle, I'm of a mind to reach closure by accepting that I got it wrong and should've acted differently

 

[Hendo]

If I find myself ruminating over a decision for some time after a game, it's occurred to me that I'm trying to justify in my mind that I got it right. Once I notice this thought process is stuck in a cycle, I'm of a mind to reach closure by accepting that I got it wrong and should've acted differently

Couldn't agree more, I don't think any of us like realising we've got a decision or an action wrong, however I'd also like to think that none of us are too big-headed to think we never make mistakes. I have in the past spent far longer than I care to imagine mentally replaying situations to find some justification, but am now much more pragmatic. I'd much rather learn from any mistakes and move on, no point beating yourself up over something you can't change, just use it to prevent the same happening again.

 

[ChasObserverRefDeveloper]

The only way to get better is to make mistakes and learn from them.

Even as a 34 year old, it can be daunting doing a middle, but the only way to get better is to do the game, and then think back and think about your decisions, and as @es1 said, think about what you could have done better etc.

Perfect examples from this weekend:

Yesterday:
1. I let the away skipper get away with too much dissent, to the point that I really opened myself up for verbal agro - luckily it didn't boil over, but it is one of those, that I should have managed it better earlier. (I did eventually caution the away manager!)
2. Away team want a penalty, problem was that there were so many bodies, 3 tackles (fair) and I had view blocked so was unable to see a potential foul (if I don't see it, I cannot give it). The issue with not having neutral ARs!

Today:
Questioning 2x penalty shouts. There were 3 all together:

Penalty incident #1: Yellow Attacker gets on goal side of defender, defender slides in through the legs, making the foul before contact with the ball - penalty. In my opinion, the defender wouldn't have gotten the ball had he not have gone through the legs. However in hindsight, I could have had a more angled view perhaps next time...
Penalty incident #2: Yellow Attacker is brought down in the box - clearly taken out - no questions.
Penalty incident #3: Blue Attacker gets into yellow box. Yellow defender goes around the side and makes clean contact with the ball with the follow through bringing their player down - I cut the grass for appeals as imo it was fair.

I think when you stop questioning your decisions and stop trying to improve, that is the time to stop refereeing...

Penalty claim #3 sounds close to a pen?! ("bringing their player down")

 

[Kes]

Penalty claim #3 sounds close to a pen?! ("bringing their player down")

Agreed.

This is where the myth "but I got the ball ref" comes from.

Making contact with the ball first but clattering the player as a result of the follow-through is still a free kick/penalty.

 

[JamesL]

I think this is a visualisation exercise. Based on what's written I see a fair challenge, from the side, clean contact on ball but incidental contact following that which brings the player down. Have to be there to see it I guess.

 

[one]

There are times that you can use comments from players in your reflections as if you got it right or wrong. But they are rare and usually given to you in a positive way.

Never have doubt in your ability. But always have certainty in the fact that there is room for improvement. Self reflect and find those areas you need to improve in and think about how you can do it.

Self doubt is destructive. Get it out of your head. That's not to say you should accept you can make mistakes. Reflect on it after the game and then put behind you.

 

[Kes]

Had my 3rd game on the line today after a 7 year break, and I had never done adults before this.

I am thoroughly enjoying it but after each game I doubt decisions I made even though at the time I was certain it was right, is this normal? Also, taking a bit of flak from teams after the last 2 games, today's was from the losing team and last weeks was from a team who lost their chance of winning the league. This doubt is putting me off taking a middle as I don't feel I'm ready.

If any one has any tips it would certainly be appreciated.

Don't dwell on it mate. Self-reflection and analysis post-match is always good but if your self-doubt stems mainly from the way the players reacted to your decisions (which sounds the case) then that's no reason to beat yourself up. You're impartial, they're not.

Remember, the good thing about refereeing is that every game is soon forgotten and within a few days you've a "clean slate" from which to go in your next match. Confidence comes from a sound subject matter knowledge (the LOTG) and from the experience of having already encountered 99% of any incidents that can happen in a football match. Adult games are different to youth so the only way you'll eradicate that self-doubt is to just get out there and give of your best. What's the worst that can happen?

 

[Big Cat]

I gave an IDFK for DP yesterday, convinced there'd been no contact
I couldn't ignore the claims from the players that contact had occurred when they pointed out the kid had stud marks and blood on his face!
Play on... next haha

 

[es1]

I gave an IDFK for DP yesterday, convinced there'd been no contact
I couldn't ignore the claims from the players that contact had occurred when they pointed out the kid had stud marks and blood on his face!
Play on... next haha

ha i had similar one, claim for a free kick on the keeper, saw no contact for a foul, keeper has a bloody mouth, ballsed that up good and proper!

very easily done and nowt you can do even with the obvious evidence presented!

 

[Big Cat]

ha i had similar one, claim for a free kick on the keeper, saw no contact for a foul, keeper has a bloody mouth, ballsed that up good and proper!

very easily done and nowt you can do even with the obvious evidence presented!

I had no choice but to change the restart to DFK. Probably ought to have cautioned an'all but didn't have the knackers to see that through!

 

[one]

If we are talking of experiences....

Two weeks ago I had a game (highest level I referee at which is 5th tier in Australia) when the top of the table lost to 4th 3-0. Two cautions each side and I was praised by both teams and my assistants after the game. I was very pleased with myself on how I controlled the game. Prob one of the best games I had.

It all came crashing down after last Saturday's game. 2nd(home) lost to 4th 0-3. Two red cards (R5 and R7) to the home team in second half. 6 cautions in all to the home team and none to away. 3 of the cautions were for dissent, plenty of yelling from the stands too. And yes slef doubt started to creep in. I kept it out of my mind until the night after when I did the reports and some self reflection. Not a lot I could have changed and thinking about it even if I did things differently I don't think it would have changed the outcome. What gave me reassurance was when I checked the league's stats. The home team had tallied almost twice as many cautions as the next highest team in the league after ten rounds and top three players from the league with the highest number of cautions were form this home team. Sometimes you just have to say, it is what it is.

 

[JamesL]

If we are talking of experiences....

Two weeks ago I had a game (highest level I referee at which is 5th tier in Australia) when the top of the table lost to 4th 3-0. Two cautions each side and I was praised by both teams and my assistants after the game. I was very pleased with myself on how I controlled the game. Prob one of the best games I had.

It all came crashing down after last Saturday's game. 2nd(home) lost to 4th 0-3. Two red cards (R5 and R7) to the home team in second half. 6 cautions in all to the home team and none to away. 3 of the cautions were for dissent, plenty of yelling from the stands too. And yes slef doubt started to creep in. I kept it out of my mind until the night after when I did the reports and some self reflection. Not a lot I could have changed and thinking about it even if I did things differently I don't think it would have changed the outcome. What gave me reassurance was when I checked the league's stats. The home team had tallied almost twice as many cautions as the next highest team in the league after ten rounds and top three players from the league with the highest number of cautions were form this home team. Sometimes you just have to say, it is what it is.

Pre match research

 

[one]

Pre match research

Had done it on table position but not on disciplinary stats. It may have helped a little but not much added on what I already knew. This was my third time with this team this season. Twice on the line before. And had them in past seasons as well, though some players had changed.

 

[Big Cat]

If we are talking of experiences....

Two weeks ago I had a game (highest level I referee at which is 5th tier in Australia) when the top of the table lost to 4th 3-0. Two cautions each side and I was praised by both teams and my assistants after the game. I was very pleased with myself on how I controlled the game. Prob one of the best games I had.

It all came crashing down after last Saturday's game. 2nd(home) lost to 4th 0-3. Two red cards (R5 and R7) to the home team in second half. 6 cautions in all to the home team and none to away. 3 of the cautions were for dissent, plenty of yelling from the stands too. And yes slef doubt started to creep in. I kept it out of my mind until the night after when I did the reports and some self reflection. Not a lot I could have changed and thinking about it even if I did things differently I don't think it would have changed the outcome. What gave me reassurance was when I checked the league's stats. The home team had tallied almost twice as many cautions as the next highest team in the league after ten rounds and top three players from the league with the highest number of cautions were form this home team. Sometimes you just have to say, it is what it is.

Sounds like a game to appreciate IMO. With someone else in charge, what would the outcome have been? I almost cautioned an entire team of U18's (8 of them in the book and one off over a 2-hour cup semi). They were the best U18 team in the County and won by any means (ferocious). Except that they lost with moi in the Middle I thought it was a thoroughly memorable game (2 PKs, 4-4 after ET 5-6 on pens, ran 7.5 miles, wrecked afterwards)
I held the bullying team in high regard. They were a nightmare, but they beat everyone as a result and this was a rare defeat for them

 

[one]

With someone else in charge, what would the outcome have been?

I know most of the referees who referee this league. There are a bunch of seasoned ones and a bunch of young and upcoming. I would like to think it would have been the same outcome and in all likelihood it would have. However I can tell from experience, a few could have buckled in under pressure and let the home team's intimidation tactics impact their decision. For example it would have been a much easier decision to just caution in place of the DOGSO-R which was the correct decision.

 

[Wolf_Ref]

Penalty claim #3 sounds close to a pen?! ("bringing their player down")

Really tough one - the issue is that the contact with the ball was clean as a whistle - it was inevitable that the player would have done down due to it.

However, the point is that I continue to mull it over... would love to look at more examples of these on video one day too.

Back to the OP...

What is your train of thought now?

 

[jofusref]

thinking over decisions is a good thing, at the correct time, during the game forget, any possible mistakes because you could miss
an even bigger decision thats when you can let a game get away from you,