A&H

Decompression techniques

M

Mattybuz

New Member
Hi folks. Hopefully this hasn't been covered previously.

I am wondering how referees (new and experienced) relieve stress after a game?

I am open to admit I'm an anxious and can be my own worst self critic. After each "bad" game I end up beating myself up and reflect on how the game and the decisions I made.

I am brand new so I'm not expecting to be a "mark clattenburg " but i do like to make sure I've earned my match fee. Im OK
during The game as I just crack on and let the game go.

However I am guilty of dwelling and overthinking but I'd like to find a post match decompression strategy to help alleviate any negative thinking.

Thank you.
 
The Referee Store
Just started second season of reffing. If I think I made a mistake or wasn’t sure I made the right decision, then I will look up that LOTG again, as that is part of the learning process. Come home and watch PL & EFL on the TV, as it’s good to watch the top refs. Lastly, it’s very unlikely you had a ‘bad game’ as that’s just the players/coaches calling out for every fouls, foul throw, corner, etc. Had it today, and probably called a corner wrong, and was getting absolutely slated, I just stuck to my decision and said, ‘from my angle’ etc. A player giving me grief all game, shook my hand at the end, and said I had a good game!! A lot of players don’t, but that’s part of the fun! Alternatively, have a beer and put your feet up.
 
It’s a lot like any player of any sport. We need to learn how to learn from our mistakes without dwelling on them. Here in the real world, every referee makes mistakes in every game, (So does every player!) being a great referee doesn’t mean never making mistakes. It means minimizing the number and seriousness of mistakes. On a significant mistake i realize I’ve made, I try to think what I could have done differently. Was I not close enough to play? Did I not get a good angle? Did I focus on the wrong part of the field or action? Did I lose focus? Did I forget an element t of the Laws? And then I try to file it away to not make the same mistake again. Learning from our mistakes (and every single experienced referee on here could report some howlers they’ve made), is one of the biggest keys to improving. (And by watching other refs, talking to other refs, and hanging out on here, you can learn from the mistakes of others and not have to make them all yourself!)
 
There's absolutely nothing wrong without analysing your performance after the game, and at higher levels referees often have to fill in personal development self-assessment forms to be sent to their coach. However, this should be done purely to aid your own development, not be a stick to beat yourself up with. We all make mistakes, even the top level officials, but if you think you have made a mistake all you should think about after is why you made that mistake. Sometimes it will just be one of those things, but usually you can attribute it to something and that will help your development. Didn't you have a clear view, and if so why was that? Were you too far from play, too central without a side on view, were there too many players between you and the ball, etc? Or did you just switch off, and if so can you identify why that happened? Perhaps it was a boring game and you thought nothing was going to happen, or perhaps the opposite and it was a cracking game and you got caught up enjoying it too much and forgot your role.

Also remember that more often than not when players and coaches tell you that you made a mistake they are the ones that are wrong and your decision was probably correct.
 
I went to watch an Isthmian League game today and was great watching the ref live. The ref seemed to be getting as much grief as I get when I referee men's games, which in a way was really reassuring, as I thought it was just me! However, he was doing absolutely nothing wrong, and he had a fantastic game. But it was great to see how he dealt with players approaching him. He seemed to listen had a chat, and if they persisted just waved them away. Something I will definitely take on board when our league starts next weekend.
 
Muchomacho said:
I went to watch an Isthmian League game today and was great watching the ref live. The ref seemed to be getting as much grief as I get when I referee men's games, which in a way was really reassuring, as I thought it was just me! However, he was doing absolutely nothing wrong, and he had a fantastic game. But it was great to see how he dealt with players approaching him. He seemed to listen had a chat, and if they persisted just waved them away. Something I will definitely take on board when our league starts next weekend.
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I’ve been watching a few isthmian games. The one I watched yesterday- a red card in the first 15 or so minutes! A quite boring game (as my team lost!) but I knew the referee and he had a good game. I find it useful to watch referees at that level live.
 
It might be worth doing a self appraisal after each game. A line in the sand so to speak.
So you agree to spend X out of time thinking about the game, what went well, what didn't work as well and make a record of this. After this time make an agreement with yourself that the game is now done with.
Then spend X minutes thinking about the next game in your calendar. Looking at league tables. Looking back at games involving the sides, so instead of thinking about last week's game we are looking ahead thinking about the next.
 
dylanbailey4444 said:
I’ve been watching a few isthmian games. The one I watched yesterday- a red card in the first 15 or so minutes! A quite boring game (as my team lost!) but I knew the referee and he had a good game. I find it useful to watch referees at that level live.
Click to expand...
Yes, I was surprised how poor the standard was, and some of the mens teams I ref on Saturdays have better players! The ref was definitely hot on the cards, something I sometimes hesitant with, so good to watch how he controlled the game
 
I have a couple of mates that are also senior referees and if something comes up during a match I can chat to them.
Helps to get their point of view.
 
As a referee you need to accept that you will make mistakes. Accept that the newer you are the more mistakes you will make. Accept that occasionally some of of those mistakes can cost a team goal and/or points.

Accepting those have to be genuine and it's different to just understanding them.

You have to understand that accepting the above does not mean you don't care about the game, the teams or your performance.
 
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