PinnerPaul
RefChat Addict
Hi megemilysx,
sorry to hear about you copping this. It's really disgraceful. It's actually quite terrifying to think that a grown man thinks it alright to spew that much abuse at a 15 year old girl. He's nothing but a predator, one one can only wonder how he treats women in other environments. Disgraceful.
It's also concerning that nobody else on his team stopped it. No parent should be allowing their coach to act like that.
But as you said, the kids started swearing at you too. So clearly the parents are okay with abuse and with their players acting like this.
Glad to hear you've had support from the league. The only other thing I would throw out is that there could have been consideration to send off the manager or even abandon the match. I don't know how it works if the manager is the only one at a youth match, perhaps others in the UK could comment on that. But given how far he has crossed the line, I would fully have supported abandonment here. He wasn't just abusive but he invaded the pitch and was physically aggressive (by invading your space).
As for the decision itself - this is a tricky one. As for allowing play to continue for a few moments even with the keeper down, I agree that it's not fair to stop play instantly just because a keeper grabs his ankle, tummy, whatever. With players this age though you're going to stop play pretty quickly. It's a tough situation because no matter what you do here you may be upsetting somebody, but I think your reasoning was sound. I've done similar, but in a mens' game - allowed play to continue for a few seconds with a keeper staying down on the ground and a goal was scored. My assessor said I was wrong - but this is an assessor who, when refereeing men's games, awards indirect free kicks for saying 'mine'. So, I already knew he knows absolutely nothing about the game. I know my decision was right - and your mentor said you got it right.
What you've been through is a very unusual situation. I've never seen anybody cop anything that severe at such a young age group.
The biggest confidence booster is often your next game. Go out there like this one never happened. Smile, signal quickly and strongly, use your whistle well (ie look confident), and when you walk off the field you'll feel better.
Glad to see you asking about your decisions and please, don't be afraid to keep posting on here lots with questions about decisions
As others have said the abuse and the reporting of is the most important thing. Seeing the red mist is something we have all seen, but comments BEFORE the match, afterwards, threatening your space and changing the other club's mark, marks this individual down as downright dangerous to the game. Very rarely do we come across someone quite as bad as this - hopefully once all the evidence is gathered this individual won't be allowed near a football pitch - certainly if it contains 8 year olds! - for a long time.
On the more trivial matter of the challenge - seen this at the (near!) top - Sheff Utd v QPR - Sheff Utd keeper (seriously) injures himself in collision with own player, leaving QPR an easy tap in - goal awarded. This took literally a few seconds - agree with above unless an immediate obvious goal is about to happen then stop the game.
In this instance sounds like you were right - but it really doesn't matter if it was the worst decision ever, NOTHING justifies his behaviour.