True Story...


RefChat Addict
Level 7 Referee
Lad at the pub feeling very confident for a bit of fun after a few beers. He tells his mate watch this and then walks up to this baldy at the bar. He rubs his hand on top of the baldy's head and says "smooth as as my wife's butt". The baldy has a look at him, then rubs his hand on top of his own head and say "you are right. It is as smooth as your wife's butt".

Sheffields Finest

Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind!
Level 7 Referee
Michael O’Leary, Chief Executive of Ryanair after arriving in a hotel in Manchester went to the bar and asked for a pint of Guinness.

The barman said, "That will be £1 please, Mr. O’Leary."

Taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money.

"We do try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman. "We have the cheapest beer in England".

"That is remarkable value", Michael comments.

"I see you don't have a glass, you'll need one of ours. That will be £3 please."

O'Leary scowled, but paid up. He took his drink and walked towards a seat.

"Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra £2. If you'd pre-booked it would have cost £1."

O'Leary swore to himself, but paid up.

"I see you've brought your laptop" added the barman. "That wasn't pre-booked either, that's another £3."

O'Leary was so incensed and his face was red with rage.
"I've had enough! I insist on speaking to a manager!"

"Here is his e-mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9.00 am and 9.01am every morning, Monday to Tuesday. Calls are free, unless answered, then there is a charge of only £1 per second".

"I will never use this bar again".

"OK but do remember, we are the only hotel in England selling pints for £1."

Sheffields Finest

Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind!
Level 7 Referee
We should all set our alarms to 12.59am to Facetime our Australian colleagues.... we could call it ‘One to One time’! 🧐
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RefChat Addict
Level 7 Referee
A mate of mine was gang-raped by a bunch of mime artists last week.

Apparently they did unspeakable things to him .... :rolleyes::p
That's funny. I spoke to your mate. He said it was an orgy.


I'll Decide ...
Level 5 Referee
Arnold Schwarzenegger Impersonation Society

I've just found out that I've been thrown out of the above society for not being any good at impressions of Arnold Schwarzenegger. :(

I'm not worried though ...

I'll return. :cool: