Mouthy player

[JamesL]

Some solid advice here and it does sound like you need someone to observe you and give you advice on how to manage the situation differently.

As time goes on and you get about more you'll find there are players like that. Some players just have no respect for referees and some players, well you might as well write their name in your notebook before you start .

 

[Will Triffitt]

Thanks for the replies everyone, The age group I Referee is u16's, I am only a few years older than them so it's a bit of a challenge for me, sometimes I feel like they take this for granted and that they can get away with shouting things etc because I'm a young referee, and to answer the first question I referee them every week as I'm friendly with their manager and have agreed to referee all their home games this season. Thanks for the advice in all the replies, I also referee u12's and Never have any problems, maybe once or twice. U16's is certainly my biggest challenge so far!

I do U16s and I'm 17... It's not always easy! Be assertive and confident. There are always one or two who will be challenging what you say. Captains are either really helpful or really not at that age. You will find that out early on so if they are use them, if not avoid them! Don't be worried to caution the player if needed for dissent. It can stop them from carrying on or they end up getting sent off for carrying on.

 

[deusex]

Louis, firstly in your pre-match chat make it clear you won't be taking any dissent during the game

Whilst I agree with the rest of the post I cannot recommend this. You''ll have players saying "ref you said you were gonna book for that" after every low key comment.
This particualr player, however would be going in the book the first time he breathed

 

[GraemeS]

Whilst I agree with the rest of the post I cannot recommend this. You''ll have players saying "ref you said you were gonna book for that" after every low key comment.
This particualr player, however would be going in the book the first time he breathed

Excellent point. Never make any concrete promises on the FOP, let alone in your pre-match talk.

 

[A Freethinker]

Whilst I agree with the rest of the post I cannot recommend this. You''ll have players saying "ref you said you were gonna book for that" after every low key comment.
This particualr player, however would be going in the book the first time he breathed

Yes, but if you book for them they will know that they can't slabber/question your decisions? The response is in relation to a particular player who is a constant complainer who you know will be at it! Hence you make it clear you won't tolerate, hit him early with a booking which shuts him up and he was warned about it! You don't have to say it every match but in this case I would consider saying it so all players are quite clear. usually what happens then is the captain or manager chirps up, you were warned now button it!

 

[Mintyref]

No, no, no, do not set your stall out about what you will or will not do for any events that may happen on the FOP. Just say to the players that you may answer polite questions at a stoppage of play.

 

[A Freethinker]

So you answer questions at stoppages in play? Why?

 

[GraemeS]

So you answer questions at stoppages in play? Why?

Personally, I feel it helps get players on side if they understand why they didn't get a certain decision. It doesn't always work and you sometimes have to rapidly pivot to being firm and telling them to stop arguing, but it can sometimes make your life easier.

 

[A Freethinker]

How does explaining yourself help make things easier? As you point out it can backfire and it can also lead to what's different abut that challenge ref? I find usually when you give them a little rope they hang you, best make the decision and move on! If they continue to be dissent full, you have your cards. Also love when a captain runs up and says I am the captain I can talk to you... eh, no you can't that's rugby mate!

 

[GraemeS]

How does explaining yourself help make things easier? As you point out it can backfire and it can also lead to what's different abut that challenge ref? I find usually when you give them a little rope they hang you, best make the decision and move on! If they continue to be dissent full, you have your cards. Also love when a captain runs up and says I am the captain I can talk to you... eh, no you can't that's rugby mate!

Each to their own of course. Players will always ask questions and you can either answer the question and then go strict if you need to, or just go strict and tell them to go away as soon as they say anything.

I find that being very aloof with no attempt to connect or sympathise will almost always cause you to have a confrontational relationship with the players. I personally don't have a problem flipping quickly to "strict mode" when I need to, and find that the benefits of having an influential player understand and not automatically see you as the enemy makes it worth trying.

 

[Cheshire Ref]

Sorry am i missing something here, why would you not answer a question and why would you not explain a decision? If i am asked a question about a decision in the right way, then the player will get an answer as to why i have made that decision. Its not difficult!

 

[Monotone Whistle]

Refereeing is a lot to do with personality - if you are approachable, able to smile, explain, all the while being firm and dealing with difficult challenges as you need to, you're on the way to being a good referee.

Stand around ignoring players, acting like you know and they don't, and generally being up your own arse, and you'll not go far.

 

[Mintyref]

So you answer questions at stoppages in play? Why?

Key word "may", and this is pre match information we're talking about, what happens during play may be vast l y different, like see me at half or full time.....or even a simple answer, but it's not a discussion group

 

[DB]

Simply put... Keep your speech to the captains before kick off brief and simple. Do not tell them how you are going to officiate the game or the stance you will take. As soon as you say/do something that goes against your speech, you open yourself up to criticism.

My speech with the captains is very simple and never changes. "Hi ladies/gents, my name is Dave. Your names and numbers are.... Okay Mike, John, all I'd like to ask you guys to do is lead by example and keep on top of your players throughout the duration of the game please. I'd like you to deal with them before I have to. Okay, head, tails..." I then do the coin toss and get on with the game. Straight away, you familiarise yourself and are approachable (by trading names) and you have now entrusted the captains to deal with their players - Youve passed on that responsibility (as much as you can). Simple.

As for explaining decisions.... Absolutely do so. Explain what is going on and keep the players in the loop. Educating them in the process is fine, but you will get a few that do try it on. If you get those, I simply tell them to come and have a chat with me after the game.

We expect players to treat us with respect and to listen to us when we need to get a point across. That has to work both ways. Listen to the players and speak to them appropriately. Manners cost nothing and you will earn respect from them very early on if you are approachable.

 

[Louis Clarke]

Hi guys, just an update on the game. It went really well today, and I had to deal with this player, he dived in the box and when I didn't give him the decision (he was the only player to claim a penatly which it certainly wasn't) he then dived on top of the ball and I gave a free kick to the opposing team. He then ran up to me saying "What the F*** was that about?" and I told him I will not be spoken to like that and proceeded to book him (my first ever booking). I then spoke to the captain and told him he needs to calm his player down or he will be leaving the field. At the end of the game his teammates approached me and shook my hand and said that I dealt with it very well and that he has had it a long time coming.

Thanks for all the advice on here, I feel that I went out on the pitch today much more confident and handled the game very well.
My last request for help is embarrassing but I've never done it before, I'm in the Surrey division and need to report his Yellow card to the FA, does anyone know how I go about doing this? thanks to everyone for all the help.

 

[DB]

Hi @Louis Clarke , firstly.... well done

Do you have a whole game account? If not, contact your Governance manager in the morning and talk to him/her about getting one set up. All bookings etc are done through there. Alternatively, you can still fill out a paper-based caution report or simply email the GM with the details.

I often have new referees emailing me with this same question. I file the caution/red cards etc through my personal Whole Game account whilst they are waiting for one. I then email the GM to state the situation, as do the referees in which I'm helping. It all depends on your GM

 

[Mooseybaby]

Talking of mouthy players...

Was due to ref today, but game was called off at 10am much to my son's delight, so was able to go to his u14s game instead.

Orange vs Red/White, about half way through the 2nd half referee gave Orange a free kick in their own area, didn't appear to be any protests about decision initially. As the players were taking up their positions, Red/White player in close proximity to the referee shouts out "How much are they paying you ref". Referee calls player over and gives him a reprimand before both walk away. Mum calls over to player asking why referee spoke to him and player repeats what he said, which prompted a fit of laughter from his side's parents.

About 5 minutes before the comment, referee gave Orange a penalty for what is best described as a rugby tackle come bear hug, looked fairly clear cut however the decision prompted an angry response from both Red/White's coach and parents. This was probably the only decision of any note the ref had to make during the entire game.

As usual, it's the referee's fault that they were on the wrong end of a 9-0 scoreline and nothing to do with their own lack of discipline or ability!

 

[A Freethinker]

I am sorry, but do you explain every decision or just the ones that are queried? Are there certain ways to ask a question and do you ignore the others if they are more forceful or aggressive in their approach? I manage and have done for 8 years not answering questions, the players respect me because I don't give them unless I am 100% sure and am always close enough to play to see clearly what happens. Hence, my confusion at referees voluntarily telling players why they make decisions. If during play do you add time on for this? Does it get frustrating for the opposing team who may want to get on with play etc...so many questions, the biggest being WHY are you explaining yourself?

 

[Cheshire Ref]

I am sorry, but do you explain every decision or just the ones that are queried? Are there certain ways to ask a question and do you ignore the others if they are more forceful or aggressive in their approach? I manage and have done for 8 years not answering questions, the players respect me because I don't give them unless I am 100% sure and am always close enough to play to see clearly what happens. Hence, my confusion at referees voluntarily telling players why they make decisions. If during play do you add time on for this? Does it get frustrating for the opposing team who may want to get on with play etc...so many questions, the biggest being WHY are you explaining yourself?

The biggest answer being that i am approachable, i understand the game and the players frustrations. Answering your points in turn, if a player approaches in an forceful or aggresive manner then no he will not be ignored, he will more likely than not get a caution for his troubles. If a player says to you calmly "Ref was that not a push in the back?" what do you do? Completely blank him? As i said before if a player asks me and i have a chance to talk to him then i will, "No fella, from my angle it wasnt a push, you were leaning in as much as he was pushing". I am not saying stop the game to explain, but if you have the opportunity to talk to players then do it. So no you dont add time on.

Top referee's are constantly talking to players throughout he whole 90 odd minutes. I am at a loss to figure out why you simply ignore players because you are always 100% certain!!!

 

[A Freethinker]

The biggest answer being that i am approachable, i understand the game and the players frustrations. Answering your points in turn, if a player approaches in an forceful or aggresive manner then no he will not be ignored, he will more likely than not get a caution for his troubles. If a player says to you calmly "Ref was that not a push in the back?" what do you do? Completely blank him? As i said before if a player asks me and i have a chance to talk to him then i will, "No fella, from my angle it wasnt a push, you were leaning in as much as he was pushing". I am not saying stop the game to explain, but if you have the opportunity to talk to players then do it. So no you dont add time on.

Top referee's are constantly talking to players throughout he whole 90 odd minutes. I am at a loss to figure out why you simply ignore players because you are always 100% certain!!!

So one player asks and he gets cautioned and another asks and he doesn't? Sounds like you are making a rod for your own back. I am also approachable and considered to be a good ref in fact one of the top refs in my league and yet I don't answer players because I don't need to? Maybe if you were closer to play and selling your decisions better then maybe they would query your decisions? As for understanding the game and the players frustrations so you book some players for asking questions and not others am sure that will lead to more troubles than I have because I just ignore them all and the players know what to expect.