Mouthy player

[SW20]

Thanks for the replies everyone, The age group I Referee is u16's, I am only a few years older than them so it's a bit of a challenge for me, sometimes I feel like they take this for granted and that they can get away with shouting things etc because I'm a young referee, and to answer the first question I referee them every week as I'm friendly with their manager and have agreed to referee all their home games this season. Thanks for the advice in all the replies, I also referee u12's and Never have any problems, maybe once or twice. U16's is certainly my biggest challenge so far!

I referee U16's-17s quite often and am only a few years older myself so understand the challenge it can pose. However, before the game I make a point of telling the captain at the toss up what the boundaries are in terms of dissent etc and what won't be tolerated. Then I emphasise to the captain that they need to go straight back to their huddle/team and tell his teammates and their manager what I have just said as I don't want anybody complaining that they didn't know what I expect of them.

I'm sure there are better ways than this such as having a word with the team as a whole before the game but this approach has worked for me so far. Since I've started using this approach, cautions for dissent have dropped and the ones I have given, are viewed with more understanding by club officials.

Hope this helps and don't let that one player ruin your game !

 

[Cheshire Ref]

So one player asks and he gets cautioned and another asks and he doesn't? Sounds like you are making a rod for your own back. I am also approachable and considered to be a good ref in fact one of the top refs in my league and yet I don't answer players because I don't need to? Maybe if you were closer to play and selling your decisions better then maybe they would query your decisions? As for understanding the game and the players frustrations so you book some players for asking questions and not others am sure that will lead to more troubles than I have because I just ignore them all and the players know what to expect.

Have you actually read my post, i can only presume not. I said i would caution a player who, as you put it, approached me in an aggressive manner. I am not cautioning for asking the question, i am cautioning for the aggressive manner.

Obviously you are right, i am not up with play and dont sell my decisions that is why i communicate with players. What i will do i will get closer to play and ignore everything and anything that is said to me.....Excellent refereeing that!!!!!!!!

 

[Monotone Whistle]

A player who asks a polite question will, at the right time, get a polite answer. That may be 5 minutes later when I stand near said player for a goal kick - "Just to clarify, I gave the decision because x, etc.". Players love that -you are showing that you are a) approachable, b) aware of the game and able to communicate. I would never stop play, seek the player out and explain because I'm usually sprinting off for the next phase of play. If it is convenient, I will explain, if not it can wait.

Which leads on to the second scenario - I am now 50 yards away for the next drop zone and said player shouts aggressively at me from distance for not giving something. Depending on how he says it, he either gets ignored, told to shut it, or cautioned. I don't explain anything to him as I am far away and more interested in the game continuing. Loop back to point 1 when I am nearer to the player and more able to clarify should I feel the need to.

This is what @Cheshire Ref meant, and he is spot on.

 

[SW20]

A player who asks a polite question will, at the right time, get a polite answer. That may be 5 minutes later when I stand near said player for a goal kick - "Just to clarify, I gave the decision because x, etc.". Players love that -you are showing that you are a) approachable, b) aware of the game and able to communicate. I would never stop play, seek the player out and explain because I'm usually sprinting off for the next phase of play. If it is convenient, I will explain, if not it can wait.

Which leads on to the second scenario - I am now 50 yards away for the next drop zone and said player shouts aggressively at me from distance for not giving something. Depending on how he says it, he either gets ignored, told to shut it, or cautioned. I don't explain anything to him as I am far away and more interested in the game continuing. Loop back to point 1 when I am nearer to the player and more able to clarify should I feel the need to.

This is what @Cheshire Ref meant, and he is spot on.

Just wondering on the topic of communication, do you ever shout what a decision is for when you give a foul? For example, I may blow my whistle and say in a loud voice ''push in the back number 7 (if I can see their number), free kick'' whilst pointing the way the FK has been given. Granted I don't always give the reason if it's a trip or something more clear cut but I'll do so most of the time.

I've started doing it almost subconsciously lately and it seems to have had a good effect with players as they don't seem to complain/question as much if they understand your reasoning but just wondering if it's something that would be viewed upon negatively if I was being assessed?

 

[Cheshire Ref]

Just wondering on the topic of communication, do you ever shout what a decision is for when you give a foul? For example, I may blow my whistle and say in a loud voice ''push in the back number 7 (if I can see their number), free kick'' whilst pointing the way the FK has been given. Granted I don't always give the reason if it's a trip or something more clear cut but I'll do so most of the time.

I've started doing it almost subconsciously lately and it seems to have had a good effect with players as they don't seem to complain/question as much if they understand your reasoning but just wondering if it's something that would be viewed upon negatively if I was being assessed?

I cant see why anybody would view this negatively, you can also communicate this to all around with a pushing action with you hand or tugging your own shirt etc. All of these things help you sell the decision and tell anyone watching why the decision has been made. Its a great habit to get into.

 

[SW20]

I cant see why anybody would view this negatively, you can also communicate this to all around with a pushing action with you hand or tugging your own shirt etc. All of these things help you sell the decision and tell anyone watching why the decision has been made. Its a great habit to get into.

Appreciate the advice!

 

[pankaye]

I am sorry, but do you explain every decision or just the ones that are queried? Are there certain ways to ask a question and do you ignore the others if they are more forceful or aggressive in their approach? I manage and have done for 8 years not answering questions, the players respect me because I don't give them unless I am 100% sure and am always close enough to play to see clearly what happens. Hence, my confusion at referees voluntarily telling players why they make decisions. If during play do you add time on for this? Does it get frustrating for the opposing team who may want to get on with play etc...so many questions, the biggest being WHY are you explaining yourself?

If you only give decisions that you are 100% sure of of there must be many decisions ypu don't give. what of there is a clash and the ball goes out for a throw in and you have no idea who it came off?

So one player asks and he gets cautioned and another asks and he doesn't? Sounds like you are making a rod for your own back. I am also approachable and considered to be a good ref in fact one of the top refs in my league and yet I don't answer players because I don't need to? Maybe if you were closer to play and selling your decisions better then maybe they would query your decisions? As for understanding the game and the players frustrations so you book some players for asking questions and not others am sure that will lead to more troubles than I have because I just ignore them all and the players know what to expect.

From my experience players will question decisions even if they are clear cut.

 

[Paul March]

Communicating with players is one of the key elements of match control. Wandering the field in an aloof manner will only wind players and situations up. I use the chit chats with players to help manage the game, adding a bit of humour where I can. Building a rapport makes sense.

And yes, I will communicate what I have given decisions for. If it is obvious then often I would say when asked ' do I really need to explain?' Done in the right way you can diffuse a potentially difficult situation.

 

[RustyRef]

Communication is absolutely vital, and that includes proactive as well as reactive. Refusing to answer a player's question is madness, especially if he is asking calmly. I talk to players all the time, including explaining why I have given something before anyone even has the chance to ask me why. Sometimes players aren't sure why you have given something, so telling them potentially prevents them having a go about it.

 

[jofusref]

louis you have had some great advice, take your time and as i tell the young referees, i look after we dont give you nice coloured cards just to keep in your pocket,
as others have said 1st bit of disent public bollocking
2nd bit yellow card
and you know what follows, red, he will soon shut up,
as others have said doing the same team to often isnt good for your development
refereeing isnt easy but it will get better with experience

 

[Sheffields Finest]

Some players wonder how they get booked for the same thing regularly! Its easy, players don't change their spots, mouthy, dirty, sweary.
I doubt refs do either, same words get the same outcome, same tolerance level ref, different game, same sh1t, same players, same outcome. Only one winner here!!!!

 

[GraemeS]

I cant see why anybody would view this negatively, you can also communicate this to all around with a pushing action with you hand or tugging your own shirt etc. All of these things help you sell the decision and tell anyone watching why the decision has been made. Its a great habit to get into.

This exactly - top referees will use a pushing gesture or a shirt pull gesture to explain reasons for a decision, so I don't see any reason why we shouldn't do the same where convenient.

 

[A Freethinker]

I understand there are many ways to communicate with players, I just think explaining your decisions says more about your own lack of confidence in giving the decision. I also don't understand why you would explain some of them because they ask nicely and then caution others because you don't like the way they asked? You are paid to make decisions not explain them? As someone says we generally know the players and the teams we do, therefore they also know us and what we like/don't like, I just don't see the point in explaining yourself and certainly not explaining for some and not others?

 

[Paul March]

I would suggest that a lack of communication could be perceived as not really understanding the decision and lacking the confidence to explain.

 

[A Freethinker]

Tell you what when they change the LOTG to say you need to explain decisions not give them, then and only then will I explain myself. As my first ever assessor said to me "Why are you explaining yourself? Give the decision and get into position, you aren't paid to educate them!" As I say in my pre-match chat "I have a whistle because I am paid to make decisions, when I blow my whistle I have seen something that infringes one of the LOTG, accept the decision for or against you and get on with the game" works for me.

You do whatever you feel comfy with boys, no one has yet explained to me why you answer some and caution for others, or even why you explain your decision if not at the time why 5 minutes later, surely that looks like you have been thinking about it and trying to find an explanation? However, obviously you need to feel loved by the players and want them to like you so sending you much love and have a good game on Saturday boys and don't forget to explain yourselves!

 

[pankaye]

I

Tell you what when they change the LOTG to say you need to explain decisions not give them, then and only then will I explain myself. As my first ever assessor said to me "Why are you explaining yourself? Give the decision and get into position, you aren't paid to educate them!" As I say in my pre-match chat "I have a whistle because I am paid to make decisions, when I blow my whistle I have seen something that infringes one of the LOTG, accept the decision for or against you and get on with the game" works for me.

You do whatever you feel comfy with boys, no one has yet explained to me why you answer some and caution for others, or even why you explain your decision if not at the time why 5 minutes later, surely that looks like you have been thinking about it and trying to find an explanation? However, obviously you need to feel loved by the players and want them to like you so sending you much love and have a good game on Saturday boys and don't forget to explain yourselves!

I dont think anyone explains every decision to every player. and I dont think anyone cautions a player just because they asked what the decision.

If you feel you can get 100% decisions you may be wasting your time of refchat. maybe you should lend your services to FIFA so you can do all their top games. I am sure they will value your service a lot more than us not 100% refs

 

[Cheshire Ref]

Tell you what when they change the LOTG to say you need to explain decisions not give them, then and only then will I explain myself. As my first ever assessor said to me "Why are you explaining yourself? Give the decision and get into position, you aren't paid to educate them!" As I say in my pre-match chat "I have a whistle because I am paid to make decisions, when I blow my whistle I have seen something that infringes one of the LOTG, accept the decision for or against you and get on with the game" works for me.

You do whatever you feel comfy with boys, no one has yet explained to me why you answer some and caution for others, or even why you explain your decision if not at the time why 5 minutes later, surely that looks like you have been thinking about it and trying to find an explanation? However, obviously you need to feel loved by the players and want them to like you so sending you much love and have a good game on Saturday boys and don't forget to explain yourselves!

You are missing/ignoring the points, i am not sure you are even reading the replies.No one is saying stop the game and have a 10 minute chat to explain why you did or didnt give a decision and nobody has said you caution one and not the other, unless again using your phrase "They approach you in an aggressive manner".

Once again i ask, a player says to you "Ref was that not a foul?", very calmly asking you a question. Do you completely ignore him/her?

If you are not prepared to talk to players then the players will know what to expect from you, you will just be the ref that nobody can talk to because he is always right, so dont even try. Personally i dont want to be that ref and before you say it, Its not about being loved its about having an understanding of the game and an empathy towards players.

 

[Twinblade]

I talk to players through the game when appropriate. I am usually vocal with no foul if there is some jostling, or red/blue ball if it goes in situations where it isn't necessarily clear so players know what the decision will be. The players like it. If there is a decision that's 50/50, like who it touched last before going out of play from throw/goal kick, if it is disputed I have always said to the player that from my angle it touched so and so last and that has always been accepted without question. I think players appreciate it when you speak to them or their level.

Incidentally, on the professional referee point. I read the Howard Webb book and he said they were encouraged to talk to players during games, but when he went on FIFA/UEFA duty this was frowned upon and they were advised not to be friendly with players and just to get cards out if their decisions were questioned.

 

[A Freethinker]

You are missing/ignoring the points, i am not sure you are even reading the replies.No one is saying stop the game and have a 10 minute chat to explain why you did or didnt give a decision and nobody has said you caution one and not the other, unless again using your phrase "They approach you in an aggressive manner".

Once again i ask, a player says to you "Ref was that not a foul?", very calmly asking you a question. Do you completely ignore him/her?

If you are not prepared to talk to players then the players will know what to expect from you, you will just be the ref that nobody can talk to because he is always right, so dont even try. Personally i dont want to be that ref and before you say it, Its not about being loved its about having an understanding of the game and an empathy towards players.

You are right I am missing the point of explaining a decision, wen you don't have to?

 

[A Freethinker]

I


I dont think anyone explains every decision to every player. and I dont think anyone cautions a player just because they asked what the decision.

If you feel you can get 100% decisions you may be wasting your time of refchat. maybe you should lend your services to FIFA so you can do all their top games. I am sure they will value your service a lot more than us not 100% refs

Och bless, maybe if you aren't getting all your decisions right you shouldn't be refereeing?