RefSix

True Story...

one

RefChat Addict
Level 7 Referee
I had to google to find out what Lenor is :(

Trying hard to remember more jokes. I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
 
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one

RefChat Addict
Level 7 Referee
A man walks into a bar…. and sees a tiny little man the size of an old wine bottle next to him sitting on the shelf playing a tiny little piano. The man asks the barman where the tiny man and piano came from. The barman says the genie in the old wine bottle gave it to him as grant a wish. He can have one too.

The man robs the old wine bottle and sure enough a genie pops out saying I will grant you a wish. The man says I want a million bucks. The genie snaps his fingers and there are duck all over the place. The man tells he barman, I didn’t ask for a million ducks!!!! The barman says, did you really think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?
 

Sheffields Finest

Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind!
Level 7 Referee
Have you heard about the new law they've just passed. Referees have to be buried 10 feet down!
Why's that?
Because deep down they are nice people! :devil::(:redcard:
 

Sheffields Finest

Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind!
Level 7 Referee
I had to decline refereeing a game in a nudist camp. I wasn't too happy about where I had to carry my spare whistle.

Well at least you have a good place to store the red card when you want to swipe it out!
 
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Sheffields Finest

Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind!
Level 7 Referee
We all start at the bottom but these club marks aren’t all they are cracked up to be. Give the right calls in law and you get bum marks! :asshat:
 
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one

RefChat Addict
Level 7 Referee
One of my young workers who was supposed to work Saturday afternoon called and said he is going to his Uncles funeral and can’t come to work.

I went to watch a local derby Saturday afternoon and saw the chap there. I told him I thought he is meant to be at his uncle’s funeral! He replied, I sure am, he is the black and white in the middle.
 

Justylove

RefChat Addict
Level 4 Referee
John: I often compare my wife to an oil painting
Chris: Aww thats nice, is she rare, exquisite & beautiful?
John: Nope, she looks better from a distance!
 
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Sheffields Finest

Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind!
Level 7 Referee
The wife asked the tattooist to put her two Bee tattoos on the base of her back...
When she came came she bent over and asked me if I liked it... I had a quick look and said to her 'who the **** is BOB?'
 
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one

RefChat Addict
Level 7 Referee
If you call the leader of a kingdom a king and the leader of a principality a prince, what do call the leader of a country?
 

Sheffields Finest

Maybe I'm foolish, maybe I'm blind!
Level 7 Referee
The manager of a certain struggling Sheffield football team was Portugese, very strict and wouldn't stand any nonsense.
Last week, he caught two fans climbing over the stadium wall at the back of the Kop. He grabbed them and said: "You, get back in there and watch the game until it finishes like the rest of us!"
 
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